I just wanted to wish the New York Knicks good luck against the Miami Heat this week.
Oh wait sorry never mind, you have to actually beat the other teams on your schedule first.
You mean things don’t happen just because you say they’re going to??
Sergio, I’m making dinner tomorrow night, do you want to come over?
I’m making Paella!
How bout dem’ Yankees!
Seriously though if the baseball season ended today Mariano Rivera would win the CY Young Award.
On another serious note Da Bears are finally going to retire Mike Ditka’s number.
“I took a punch from Hall of Famer, Mike Ditka, and I did not go down!”
“Sure, I wobbled a bit, but I did not go down.”
“That Ditka has fists like a small truck.”
If you haven’t seen the movie Kicking and Screaming you should, it’s pretty funny and Mike Ditka is very funny in it.
Miguel Cabrera is really good at baseball.
Just in case you forgot, the NHL Playoffs are going on right now.
I know, it’s wild that you didn’t know that.
(Inside Indiana Pacers huddle before the final play of game 1) Frank Vogel speaking (probably really fast in a funny voice) : Roy Hibbert what are you, uh 7’2″, yea you probably can’t block anyone’s shot you take a seat here next to me, and nobody guard that #6 guy I heard he’s not very good.
How’d that work out for ya?
Heyyyyyyy, the New York Rangers won a hockey game!
Hey Chase Utley’s hurt again, that’s a shocker.
Why do NBA players think it’s okay to dress like this……….
All of these atrocious outfits in the NBA have inspired me to write a book that will be entitled: Where Have All The Men Gone?
I always set my Sno-Cones down on the bathroom floor at a stadium filled with people.
Then I don’t wash my hands and I sell them.
Word on the street is they were lemon flavor…..mmmmmm yummy!
Hey RG3, can your daddy fight my battles for me too??
I’m glad I’m not Mark Sanchez.
I am really glad I watched The Preakness… NOT!
Can I get a stare down here?
Andre Ethier’s wasn’t bad, but if you want to see the best stare down of all-time check this out :
You’re awesome Frank Robinson.
I hope you’ve enjoyed another installment of One Liner Fridays. Leave me your best One Liner in the comment section.
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!