Raise Your Hand If You’re Pretending To Be A Soccer Fan Today!!!!

Today is a BIG day!!

The World Cup begins. The U.S. Open begins. And the New York Mets look to score their first run of the season….

World Cup

Today, droves of people will pretend to be DIE HARD soccer fans. They’ll buy jerseys. They’ll take off work to watch “their” team play. Hell, they may even paint their faces.

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And in approximately four weeks, they’ll forget soccer ever existed.

It’s actually amazing.

So, Mother Russia is your host, and they’ll kick off the World Cup with the 1st match @ 11:00 A.M. EST. They’ll take on Saudi Arabia, the presumed worst team in Group A. The rest of their group is made up of Uruguay and Egypt. In other words, the host country has received a cake walk into the next round. If only that was a coincidence….

Here are the rest of the groups:

B

Spain, Portugal, Morocco, and Iran

C 

France, Denmark, Peru, and Australia

D

Argentina, Croatia, Nigeria, Iceland

E

Brazil, Switzerland, Serbia, and Costa Rica

F

Germany, Sweden, Mexico, and South Korea

G

Belgium, England, Tunisia, and Panama

H

Colombia, Poland, Japan, and Senegal

Team to feel bad for: Morocco

Landing in a group with Spain and Portugal just seems like slow, painful, torture to me.

Underdog with a chance: Colombia

If they beat Germany, and that’s the biggest IF ever, they have a chance.

World Cup Champion: Brazil

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Brazil is the Vegas favorite (+400) to win the World Cup. Having not won a World Cup since 2002 (pobre Brazil), they’re due.

U.S. Open (Golf)

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The 1st round of the U.S. Open will be played today. This year’s U.S. Open is being hosted by Shinnecock Hills, right in my back yard. 156 golfers will tee-it-up on Thursday in hopes to raise that trophy on Sunday evening. Shinnecock Hills was last home to the U.S. Open in 2004, a tournament won by Retief Goosen.

The Vegas favorite this week is Dustin Johnson (+900). After winning the FedEx St. Jude Classic this past weekend, DJ looks to be back to his winning ways.

Not that he has a chance to win, but Tiger Woods (+1600) is playing in his 1st U.S. Open since 2015 (where he missed the cut), and last won in 2008.

My money’s on Jordan Spieth (+1400). Not a long shot by any stretch of the imagination. Just my humble opinion.

Worst. Offense. EVER!!

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The New York Mets’ offense is taking anemic to a whole new level. Since June 1st (10 games), they have scored 14 runs. That’s less, over the same time span, than some individual players. Evan Gattis has driven in 18 runs since June 1st.

The Mets are literally wasting Jacob deGrom’s prime. Over his last 10 starts, deGrom has lowered his e.r.a. from 3.24 to 1.55, giving up a total of 6 runs, and has only won two of those starts. THAT’S EMBARRASSING!!!! 

Oh, and the Mets as a team, have lost 10-of-their-last-11 games. The near future doesn’t look any brighter either, with their next eight games on the road (Arizona Diamondbacks and Colorado Rockies).

 

What will you be watching today?? Tell me in the comment section below.

You can find me on the Radio as well. Download the TuneIn Radio App and search OWWR. I’m on live, every Wednesday from 6:00 P.M. – 8:00 P.M EST. Each show is also broadcast on Facebook Live via: http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports.

Since you LOVE my writing, follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like my page on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. You can also Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading!! NOW GO TELL ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS!!

 

Here’s To Watching Sports While You’re Supposed To Be ENJOYING Brunch

This one’s for the weekend warriors.

The brave souls who watched LeBron get his butt whipped on their phone under the brunch table. The uncomfortable sweater wearing golf fans who watched Webb Simpson dominate on a tablet hidden between a dove shaped napkin and their mimosa.

LeBron

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I MUST preface this section with an explanation, for if I don’t, LeBron Lifers may run me over with their car. You know who you are….

When things are going well, LeBron deserves all the praise in the world. However, when s*** hits the fan, LeBron deserves the blame. That was Sunday. The Cleveland LeBrons must have mixed up their schedules. Showing up to a charity event (you’re supposed to lose on purpose) instead of Game One of the Eastern Conference Finals is inexcusable.

SCORING 83 POINTS IS INEXCUSABLE!!!!

LeBron didn’t lead his team in scoring (Kevin Love – 17), finishing with just 15 points. This is LeBron’s lowest playoff point total (11 points) since Game Three of the 2017 playoffs, against you guessed it, the Boston Celtics. By the way, the LeBrons took down the Celtics in five games last year — I’m just sayin’. The LeBrons looked awful on Sunday. They got outworked, outhustled, and outeverythinged (108-83).

  

James Frederick Webb Simpson

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Simply known as Webb, James Frederick Webb Simpson handily won The 2018 Players Championship. Through two rounds, Simpson was 15-under par. That’s INSANE. And for those who don’t play golf, that’s like hitting 10 half-court shots, in the first half.

At 19-under par, Simpson was so far ahead through three rounds (7-strokes), he literally played NOT to lose. Shooting a one-over, 73, while the whole world was skyrocketing up the leaderboard is evidence enough for me. While the smart play, it made for a boring Sunday. 19 of the top-22 finishers shot rounds of 69 or better, including Brooks Koepka’s 63!!!! ALSO INSANE!!!! Those same top-22 golfers finished the tournament -10 or better. ALSO INSANE!!!!

Tiger Woods made a cameo appearance this weekend. After making the cut, on the number (-1), Tiger had himself a Saturday, posting a 7-under, 65. This caused ‘stupidity’ to trend on Twitter….When will Tiger win a Major?! When will he be #1 again?! When will he break Jack Nicklaus’ record?! The Answers: Never, Never, and NEVER!!

No performance was more impressive, or more unexpected, than Simpsons. Having missed the cut four out of his last eight times at The Players Championship, Simpson was seeking an end to his victory drought; 107 tournaments. Streak….broken. Following this victory, he banked $1.98 million and rose to 20th in the World Golf Rankings.

Not bad for four days of work.

 

What did you watch on Mother’s Day?? Tell me all about it in the comment section below.

You can find me on the Radio as well. Download the TuneIn Radio App and search OWWR. I’m on live, every Wednesday from 6:00 P.M. – 8:00 P.M EST. Each show is also broadcast on Facebook Live via: http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports.

Since you LOVE my writing, follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like my page on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. You can also Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading!! NOW GO TELL ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS!!

What’s Your Name Again??

Who are you??

I’m sorry, I’ve never heard of you before. Can I see some identification please??

In the wide world of sports, many athletes fly under the radar. Some ride the bench, so they go unnoticed for good reason. Others, however, are “unknown superstars”. Today, we’ve comprised a list of the best athletes most people didn’t know existed.

Justin Thomas

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Casual golf fans, if such a group exists, have heard of Tiger Woods. They’ve also probably heard of Phil Mickelson. But that’s about it. They probably haven’t heard of Justin Thomas. Thomas is currently the 3rd ranked golfer in the world. He’s already won two PGA Tour events this year, after winning five last year (including a Major). Oh, and he’s currently in 1st place in the FedEx Cup Standings. Not bad for a 5’10”, 145 pound, 24-year old man who could blend into a crowd easier than Where’s Waldo.

Whit Merrifield

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If you know who Whit Merrifield is, I’ll be impressed. Merrifield currently plays second base for the Kansas City Royals. At 29 years old, he’s looking to duplicate his success from last season. Merrifield was one of only two players to hit at least 15 home runs and steal at least 30 bases. The other; Jose Altuve. Colliding in the same sentence with the reigning AL MVP isn’t what I’d call a bad thing.

Nikita Kucherov

NHL: Stanley Cup Playoffs-Pittsburgh Penguins at Tampa Bay Lightning

I’ll give you a hint. His team has the best record in his sport. Give up?? Nikita Kucherov plays in the NHL for the Tampa Bay Lightning. They currently hold the best record in the league at 44-17 (92 points). Kucherov, despite never having entered a conversation in your living room, is leading the NHL in points (82). Yeah, the 24-year old is that good.

Megan Rapinoe

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How is that you’ve never heard of one of the best soccer players in this country?! Megan Rapinoe is an international superstar. Rapinoe plays for the Seattle Reign FC in the National Women’s Soccer League and is part of the U.S. Women’s National Team. Rapinoe was a crucial part of their gold medals at the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup and the 2012 London Olympics. And she scored the lone goal in the U.S.’ victory over Germany yesterday. Shame on you for not knowing Megan Rapinoe!!

David Goffin

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If you were ranked 7th in the world, in an individual sport, you’d think people would know your name, no?! Well I’m betting most of you wouldn’t recognize David Goffin if you bumped into him on the street. Goffin won 2 single’s titles last year, and has been in the top-25 in the world tennis rankings since October of 2014.

Mario Addison

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I will be shocked if you know this next one. Who is Mario Addison?? Don’t go to the Google, that’s cheating. Okay, time’s up. Mario Addison is a defensive end the NFL. Addison has spent the past six seasons with the Carolina Panthers and may be the most overshadowed defensive player in the NFL. Addison is one of just seven players to average 10 or more sacks over the past two seasons.

Khris Middleton

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This one you may know, but his talent doesn’t match his name (or face) recognition. His celebrity status if you will. Khris Middleton is an extremely talented small forward for the Milwaukee Bucks. Middleton is one of only nine NBA players averaging at least 20 points, 5 rebounds, and 4 assists this season.

 

Had you heard of any of these athletes prior to today?? Don’t lie in my comment section!!

You can now find me on the Radio too. Download the TuneIn Radio App and search OWWR. I’ll be on live every Wednesday from 6:10 P.M. – 8:00 P.M EST. I also broadcast every show on Facebook Live via my DaveTalksSports.com Facebook Page: http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports.

Since you enjoy my writing, follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like my page on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. You can also Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading!! Now go tell all your friends!!

 

 

“Tiger Back”

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He’s back!!

None other than the world’s most popular golfer: Tiger Tiger Woods y’all.

After a 301-day hiatus from competitive golf, Woods returned to the links on Thursday to play in the Hero World Challenge. The Hero World Challenge is a tournament for 18 of the top golfers in the world, hosted by Tiger Woods himself. It’s a 4-day tournament, being played in Albany. No, not that Albany. Albany in the Bahamas.

After a 10-month stretch away from professional golf, Tiger Woods completed his comeback from various obstacles. He had his 4th back surgery this past April, a single level fusion-surgery. The purpose of this surgery is to create space in the back, in order to alleviate pain and stop back spasms. Typical recovery is approximately 6 months. Woods also battled personal demons before returning to the golf course. After being arrested for DUI in May, Woods entered a rehabilitation facility to get his use of pain medications under control.

For all you Tiger Woods fanatics out there, you’ll recall this isn’t the first time Woods made a long awaited return to golf at his own tournament. Following back surgery #3, and a 15-month recovery, Woods made a comeback at the Hero World Challenge in 2016.

How did he play yesterday??

Considering he’s 41 years old, had back surgery 7 months ago, and hasn’t played competitive golf in nearly a year, I’d say he played fantastic!! Woods shot a 3-under, 69, leaving him just 3 strokes off the lead (Tommy Fleetwood). Granted this course isn’t playing extremely tough, as 15 of the 18 player field finished under par yesterday. But at the same time, 8 of the top 10 golfers in the world are competing in this tournament.

Now, as much as I enjoy watching Tiger Woods dominate on a golf course, and as much as the sport needs him, all those asking how many majors he’ll win next year need to pump the brakes. Seriously, slam on your brakes RIGHT NOW before you rear end someone!! Listen, it’s nice to see that Woods can still post scores under par. And I’m glad he’s handled his personal issues. But, can we watch him play top notch golf for a few months before we crown Tiger Woods the 2018 Masters Champion????

Allow me to contradict myself — slightly. I will never doubt Tiger Woods. I simply DO NOT doubt greatness. I never doubted Michael Jordan each time he (un)retired. I don’t plan on doubting Serena Williams as she prepares to return to competitive tennis after the birth of her 1st child. And I’m not going to doubt a HEALTHY Tiger Woods. If, and this is a big if, he can stay healthy, don’t be surprised if he starts winning golf tournaments.

 

Will Tiger Woods win another major?? Post your prediction in the comment section below.

You can now find me on the Radio too. Download the TuneIn Radio App and search OWWR. I’ll be on live every Wednesday from 6:10 P.M. – 8:00 P.M EST. I also broadcast every show on Facebook Live via my DaveTalksSports.com Facebook Page: http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports .

Since you enjoy my writing, follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like my page on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. You can also Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading!! Now go tell all your friends!!

 

 

One Liner Friday’s

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Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Ah yes, I must start with Ryan “Put Him In The Dumpster” Dempster.

I figured it out, The Dumpster thinks he is Batman, and felt taking the law into his own hands was perfectly acceptable (“They’ll have to understand, I’m Batman!”).

You know, it’s a shame Dempster had do this, I actually used to like him thanks to his hysterical Harry Caray impression.

Ryan Braun is O.J. Simpson.

Think about it, if you obviously committed a crime and got away with it, wouldn’t you go hide in a cave somewhere and make sure you never repeated such an egregious error again?

Enough of this Preseason nonsense, let’s bring on the real football already!

Are you ready for some fantasy football??

How bout dem’ Yankees!!

They have now won 5 games in a row, and they’re coming for a playoff spot; watch out everybody.

I know A-Rod has helped the team in their latest surge, but for people not to thank Alfonso Soriano for the teams offensive resurgence is ridiculous.

Tiger keeps playing well before and after Majors, hmmmmmm.

Anybody else tired of hearing about Jhonny Manziel?

Oh okay good, it’s not just me, for a second there I thought everyone was enjoying that drivel.

Roger Federer ranked 7th in the U.S. Open?!?!

It’ll be sad to watch him go, but this is the beginning of the end for the best tennis player in the history of the world.

I bet you didn’t know this, or even know who they are, but the Bryan brothers are the Tiger Woods (if you could clone him) of Men’s Doubles in Tennis.

They are twin brothers, and they currently hold the ‘Tiger Slam’ in tennis and will make it the traditional Grand Slam when they win The U.S. Open and hold all 4 Slam titles in the same calendar year.

By the way Ryan Braun, no one wants your stupid fake apology so just shove it somewhere painful.

Clayton Kershaw is one of the best pitchers baseball has ever seen, his e.r.a. this season is 1.72!

Cliff Paul’s twin brother Chris was named the NBA’s new President of the Player’s Union.

I think it’s a solid move (I mean who wouldn’t want a car insurance agent working for them?).

I know I’m repeating myself with this one, but I want everyone to know who predicted Mayweather’s first loss first.

Canelo Alvarez will take down Floyd Mayweather Jr. on September 14th.

Major League Baseball is getting to the exciting part of the year when the rest of you start watching and football is right around the corner, man this time of the year is great.

Enjoy the rest of your summer everyone!!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

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Hello everybody and welcome back to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

So do you think Sergio Garcia and Riley Cooper are best buds?

I think so, I think they hang out at each other’s house and try to come up with ways to alienate themselves and potentially ruin any success they may have ever created leading up to that very moment.

I am slightly disappointed that Michael Vick is taking this whole forgiveness route, I don’t know about you but I think Cooper deserves the “Old Michael Vick” treatment.

You know what I mean.

Inbee Park!!

Who?

Oh you know just a professional female golfer who’s playing for her 4th consecutive grand slam title.

I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.

Tiger shoots an opening round 66, making every putt under the sun at the Bridgestone Invitational.

This comes just a week after the Open Championship, where he couldn’t putt the ball into a garbage can if it was right in front of him.

SHUT UP BUCK SHOWALTER!!

For those of who didn’t see what he had to say about A-Rod and The Yankees, have no fear:

“If Bud (Selig) lets them get away with that, they’re under the luxury tax,” Showalter told USA Today. “If they can reset, they can spend again and I guarantee you in two years Matt Wieters is in New York. They’re the ones who signed him to that contract.”

Let them get away with that?

I’m sorry, did The Yankees ask A-Rod or anyone else on their team to do steroids?

Are The Yankees, or any team, complicit in the use of steroids?

Is Buck Showalter the biggest crybaby known to man?

It is amazing how big the target on their back is, and how this is only a “story” because it involves The Yankees.

They don’t boo the bad teams.

Alabama is clearly the best college football team in the country, but why does everyone get so riled up over preseason rankings?

Everyone understands that this is not the same roster from last season right?

Just checking.

How about we play the games and see what happens (or let a computer decide everything and not even bother; either way).

I love how everyone is writing Canelo Alvarez off before his fight with Floyd Mayweather, but as I’ve said before and I’ll say it again right now:
Canelo Alvarez will hand Floyd Mayweather his first professional loss of his career.

Isn’t it hysterical that Greg Oden, who was drafted 6 years ago and still hasn’t played even close to a full season in the NBA due to chronic injuries; get’s to choosethe team that will have the ‘privilege’ to pay him millions of dollars.

No, inmate #174954, you will no longer get airtime on my watch; thank you very much!

So, Kansas City Chief’s offensive coordinator is obviously messin’ with the same stuff Derek Rose is if he thinks Alex Smith is the best QB in the NFL.

I get it, he’s trying to build Smith’s confidence after it was trampled last season, but Smith is not even the best team in his division forget the whole league.

Let me end by saying that what Riley Cooper said is horrible.

It is obviously extremely insensitive, and I feel that that word (along with any slur towards anyone) has no place in society.

I’m here to bring levity and comedy (hopefully) to the world of sports, so please don’t take offense to anything I say or any pictures I may post even in regards to a sensitive situation.

Thanks for reading as always, and I hope you all enjoyed this weeks One Liners.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Phenomenal Phil Claims Claret Jug

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While everyone else was moving backward, he charged forward. From the beginning of the day, he was staring down the barrel of a 5-shot deficit, but by the end of the day he found himself standing alone at the top of a hill. Only instead of a hill he was standing on a mountain (because a 3-shot victory in a tightly contested golf tournament is like winning a baseball game 9-1). Phil Mickelson played the round of his life on the grandest of stages on Sunday. It is a round that will go down in history as one of the finest of all-time, and there were some signature shots that will be remembered for decades to come. This phenomenal display of golf earned Mickelson his 5th career Major and his 1st Open Championship. With this victory he finds himself on a short list of men to have won 3 different Majors.

Mickelson, now 43, didn’t win his 1st Major until the age of 33. Over the past decade he and his game have matured nicely. In the past Mickelson was pegged as the best to never win, as he came up short time after time. It was always the high risk/high reward shots that seemed to draw him in like a magnet. Unfortunately for Phil, these shots always seemed to become his downfall in the most clutch moments. We all remember the horribly sliced tee shot on the 18th hole of the 2006 U.S Open (you know the one off of the tent). That shot was then followed by the inane decision to go for the green and subsequently was drilled right into a tree. It has been his transformation from then to now that has been the difference. He still has the best game in the world from 100 yards and in, and this past weekend his best friend was his putter. He controlled his emotions and made a late surge on the back nine on Sunday. This had to be the best stretch of golf he has ever played. To birdie 4 of the last 6 holes while seemingly everyone else on the course was faltering and misstepping and landing up against the walls of cross bunkers, was simply something to behold. The shot that will stick in my mind has to be Phil’s 2nd shot from the fairway on #17. The commentators had just finished saying that they doubted that Phil could get it home from 300 yards away, however Phil hit a perfect 3 wood and along with a fortuitous bounce and roll he found himself with a 40 foot eagle try. He proceeded to make a nice lag putt for a tap in birdie. With nerves of steel he stepped up to the tee at 18 and smacked the ball right down the middle of the fairway. From there he put the ball to about 10 feet on the 18th green. To ensure that this Major would not slip through his fingers, he put the final nail in the coffin and drilled the putt for a birdie. With a double fist pump above his head, he knew he had done it. He had just shot a 5 under 66, and was just a short wait away from winning at a venue that he never thought he could win. Even though all the doubters had started to write Lefty off, he is actually playing some of the best golf of his career (even with the heart wrenching runner-up finish at the U.S. Open this year).

All in all the round of golf that we all were privy to yesterday was a special one. It should go down as one of the best rounds of golf we will ever see. Phil has constantly been overshadowed by El Tigre his entire career, but people should appreciate the talent that is The Hefty Lefty. He is approaching top ten golfer of all-time status. Maybe Tiger and Phil can renew their old rivalry since clearly little Rory Mcilroy will be too busy visiting his shrink on Sundays. What do you think? Will Phil win the PGA Championship or will Tiger snap out of his major funk and add to his trophy case? Or is there someone else from the field you think will emerge?

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

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Hello and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you will find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Mark my words: Everyone at the Open Championship needs to watch out for Tiger Woods.

I know I know, that’s a really hard prediction to make, but I’m making it because he has found a nice rhythm and he’s got the putter working (he doesn’t lose when he putts well).

That’s a scientific fact!

Anchorman anyone?

The MLB All-Star Game is the only one of the major sports that I look forward to not watching.

It can’t be an exhibition and mean something at the SAME TIME!!

The HomeRun Derby is still cool though.

Watching human beings (albeit human beings on massive amounts of growth hormones) hit baseballs 500 feet never gets old.

Yoenis Cespedes is a beast!!

For those of who didn’t watch the ESPY’S (like me), you need to check out Lebron James’ outfit:

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Umm excuse me Mr. usher, can you help me find my seat?

Whatever happened to the regular old black tux?

So little Johnny Manziel is getting drunk, getting arrested, and is in the process of ruining his future, it sounds like he’ll fit right in in the NFL.

But, whatever you do John, just remember that NOBODY CARES!!

A-Rod says he’ll be back on the Yankees on Monday, I want to believe him, I just don’t.

Oh you want a $25 million dollar contract?

But you don’t have any major injuries?

Oh no I’m sorry I can’t give you a contract unless at least one of your body parts is falling apart.

What’s that, you do have knees that are deteriorating, by all means then J.R. Smith, please sign right here.

Jaws must have been smoking that good stuff when he made is QB list because there is no way in hell that Matt Ryan is better than Drew Brees.

Lebron, Kobe, and Melo are not going to wind up on the same team.

That’s crazy, that would be like Iron Man, Thor, and The Hulk all teaming up to……..ahhh or maybe it could happen.

Does Kevin Garnett know that he’s going to have to coach the Nets while Jason Kidd is in jail??

I’d like to end on a serious note.

This year is the 20th anniversary of Jimmy V’s famous “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up” speech.

I’d just like to say that we should never take anything, anyone, or any day we have for granted because you never know when it’ll all be gone.

Cherish your lives every day, and appreciate the life that you have.

Thanks for reading and enjoy your weekend everybody!!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

Welcome back to another Friday edition of One Liners. Here you will find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!

I hope the Nets won’t mind that Jason Kidd has to take a leave of absence from coaching to serve jail time for his pending DWI case.

Just because Tim Tebow plays for the New England Patriots doesn’t mean he’s all of a sudden going to be good at football.

Tom Brady doesn’t have any magic dust to sprinkle on Tebow’s arm that’s going to make him accurate.

What I’m trying to say is my mother throws a football better than Tim Tebow.

You might be laughing but that’s no joke; mom dukes has a cannon.

So Serena Williams is decent at tennis huh?

Rafael Nadal should only play tournaments on clay, and any other tournament he is asked to play in he should kindly reply, no gracias.

When one of your finals games goes to triple overtime and it’s not even the lead story on ESPN, you know your sports in trouble (sorry hockey).

Hey Roger Goodell you know what you should do, you should make a public statement that offends an entire race of people, yeah yeah do that, that’s smart.

Breaking News: Mark McGwire eats entire Diamondbacks pitching staff in one bite during benches clearing brawl.

So much for players policing themselves huh?

Yasiel Puig!!

Yes, Jaromir freaking Jagr is still in the NHL, and no he’s not just riding the bench to say he made a comeback, he played 33 minutes Wednesday night.

And yes, Jagr was that player known as that other guy who played on the Penguins with Lemieux back when you were a kid.

Does Thiago Splitter know how tall he is??

In the words of Bill Walton, “Throw it down big man, throw it down!”

Hey Dwyane Wade: are you hurt or are you not hurt, are you finished or are you not finished?

By the way, that kid Sebastian De La Cruz who sings the National Anthem at Spurs games is awesome.

(Read this one in that Spongebob narrator voice) 18 innings later……

The Yankees and Athletics love baseball so much they decided to play 2 games in 1.

Can I get a little golf here?

For those of you who don’t know (and I’m pretty sure that’s most of you), golf’s U.S. Open started on Thursday, sort of.

If it ever stops raining we might get to watch some golf.

I want to take a second to wish a very Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there.

Sleep in, watch TV on the couch, go play golf, eat and drink whatever you want.

Whatever you do just make sure you enjoy your day.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

If winning Coach of the Year doesn’t guarantee your employment, what the hell does??

Sorry George Karl, but if you never raise people’s expectations too high they’ll never be too disappointed.

A-Rod, A-Rod, A-Rod how I loathe thee.

A-Rod has to be the dumbest guy in the world to think he was going to get away with cheating.

Didn’t you learn anything the first time?

What does Phil Hughes think he’s good now or something?

How bout dem Spurs!!

I didn’t know Tony Parker was an acrobat, man those French are sneaky.

Serena Williams is so good at tennis it’s offensive.

She beat her semifinal opponent in 6 minutes (it was actually 46 minutes but who’s counting?).

Hey Chris Bosh, you know there’s a basketball game going on that you’re supposed to be a part of right???

Tiger Woods say: See what had happened was, I was going to win, but I decided to be +8 and finish 20 shots back instead.

Watch him turn around and win the U.S. Open next week.

The Miami Marlins are 16-44, they should be removed the the Major’s; permanently.

Whoever put together the brackets for the French Open should be fired.

Novak Djokivic and Rafael Nadal is a great matchup today in the semifinals, but that should clearly be the finals matchup.

And yes, the NHL Playoffs are still going on.

I actually had to look that last one up to verify first.

Wait, people will put their bodies at risk and cheat in order to gain a competitive advantage and in turn make millions of dollars?

NO WAY!

Mmmmmm Donut.

For those of you were not aware, it is National Donut Day.

Yeah that’s right, enjoy!

Aww what happened wittle Webron, were your wittle wegs tired last night?

You better win game 2 Lebron, because if you don’t you will lose this series.

This has been another installment of One Liner Friday’s. I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!