Tag: Football

Holy Hail Mary!

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 2 Comments

hail mary

 

Week 13 in the NFL kicked off Thursday Night with an NFC North battle between the Green Bay Packers and Detroit Lions.  The Lions were looking to sweep the season series against the Packers for the first time since 1991 and looked to build on their 3-game winning streak.  If you turned the game on anytime around halftime, you probably turned it right off.  If you did, I feel sorry for you because you missed one of the greatest finishes to a football game we’ve seen in years.  Yes, the Lions were winning  20-0 in the 3rd quarter, but the Aaron Rodgers led Packers stormed back into the game in the 2nd half.  And with 6 seconds left in the game, the Packers were down by 2 (23-21), on their own 21-yard line, and had time for seemingly one more play.  Rodgers threw a 19-yard pass that got laterelled back and forth a few times until the ball ended up back in his hands.  A Lions defender caught up to Rodgers and brought him down with no time left on the clock.  But wait, what is this?!  That’s right a penalty flag for a facemask against the defense.  Devin Taylor was called for an EXTREMELY QUESTIONABLE facemask penalty while bringing Rodgers down to the ground.  This allowed the Packers to run one last, untimed play from their own 39-yard line.

If you haven’t seen this unbelieveable play yet, follow the link below to YouTube to watch it.

As you can see, Aaron Rodgers ran around to avoid tacklers and launched a pass from his 35-yard line.  This Hail Mary landed in the hands of his brother from another mother Richard Rodgers for a game winning, 61-yard touchdown.  Obviously, allowing a Hail Mary is inexcusable, but there is always more than one play that contributes to blowing a 20-point lead in the 2nd half.

The Lions defense fell apart in the 2nd half.  The Packers four scoring drives only took a combined 9 minutes and 6 seconds.  That may not sound impressive, but if you think about it, that’s 4 pretty quick touchdowns.  And, in my opinion, the turning point in the game was the Matthew Stafford fumble in the 3rd quarter.  The Packers had just scored a touchdown and then you hand all the momentum over to the Packers with a costly turnover.  You can’t do that Mr. Stafford!

In the end, the Rodgers-to-Rodgers connection was the difference, and the Packers’ NFC North title chances remain alive and well (standing at 8-4).  As for the Lions, well they look a lot like the Lions.

Was this the craziest ending to a football game you’ve ever seen??  Let me know in the comment section below.

Since you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

First Openly Gay Player Drafted in the NFL

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 2 Comments

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On Saturday May 10th, 2014, The St. Louis Rams made history by drafting Michael Sam.  Michael Sam made headlines back in February, by announcing to the world that he was gay.  At the time, Sam was projected as a 3rd round pick in the NFL Draft, so most expected Sam to become the first openly gay player in the NFL.  After a poor showing at the NFL Combine in late February, Sam’s stock price dropped drastically.  Did some General Mangers use his poor combine as an excuse to drop him in their rankings?  Or did these General Manager’s look at Sam strictly as a football player and nothing more?  I hope the latter is true.  While I understand the General Managers in the NFL put an unreasonable amount of value on Combine results, I don’t know if Sam deserved to drop all the way into the 7th round.  Sam was selected with the 249th overall pick.  The St. Louis Rams may be the biggest beneficiary of Sam’s draft stock dropping, as I believe they got Sam about 2 or 3 rounds later than his abilities dictate. 

 

Immediately following the selection, the camera flipped to Sam’s home as he received the call from The Rams.  His house was filled with family and friends who were there to share in this joyous occasion.  Most notably Sam’s boyfriend was right there by his side.  Sam was visibly overwhelmed with emotion and began to cry.  Sam’s boyfriend stood by his side the entire time and when Sam hung up the phone, the two kissed and embraced each other.  This display of affection between two men has drawn quite a reaction, and is currently one of the top stories in the sports world.  Most people are fine with this, for they understand that the world has changed and this is a personal choice that every person is entitled to make.  Others, however, are not as tolerant of Sam’s relationship, and some have gone as far as to publicly speak out negatively toward Sam.  Don Jones, of the Miami Dolphins, tweeted “OMG” and “horrible” in reaction to Sam and his boyfriends televised displays of affection.  Jones has subsequently been suspended and fined an undisclosed amount for his comments.    

 

I believe that every one in the world has the right to do what makes them happy.  If being gay is a choice that makes Sam happy, then who are we to tell him he is wrong?  Ignorance, unfortunately is everywhere, but the best thing Sam can do is ignore the negativity and stay focused on the game he loves.  Now, when it comes to football, I believe he should be judged solely as a football player and a teammate.  All the other stuff shouldn’t play a role in his place on The St. Louis Rams or any other team.  This is why I believe Sam unfairly dropped in the draft, but nonetheless, he was drafted.  He now has just as good of an opportunity to make the roster and receive playing time as anybody else.  You would think that despite his poor showing at the combine, his game will translate to the NFL.  He was only an All-American and was named the SEC Defensive Player of the Year last season.  That sounds like a 7th round pick to me!  In all seriousness, we should be happy for Sam and every young man that was drafted this year.  They each have a once in a lifetime opportunity to play in the NFL, and they should give it their all.   

 

 

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Thank you for reading and leave a comment in the section below.

 

2014 NFL Draft: 1 Day Down, 178 To Go

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

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Round 1 of the 2014 NFL Draft is now officially in the books.  It was a very interesting 1st round that came with a few trades, a few surprises, but most things played out as expected.  Over the past 3 months, draft experts have been laying out any and all possibilities for the outcome of the NFL Draft.  Many have been suggesting that The Houston Texans could do a multitude of things with the #1 overall pick in the draft.  Some have suggested that they should select Johnny Manziel because they need a quarterback and he played his college ball in the state of Texas while some have suggested trading the asset of the #1 overall pick, move back in the draft, and collect an extra set of picks.  And the majority of people have implored the Texans to simply to the right thing and select the best player in the draft.  And that is what they did.  They selected Jadeveon Clowney because he is a “freak of nature”.  At his size, Clowney is listed at 6’5 1/4″ and 266 pounds, his speed, size, and power are unmatched.  He posted a very impressive 40-yard dash time of 4.53 seconds, the fastest of any defensive lineman in this years draft.  I believe this was the right selection by The Texans, but don’t be surprised if Khalil Mack is the best defensive player to come out of this years draft.  Oh no wait, he was drafted by The Oakland Raiders so never mind.

 

The first surprise to come out of the 1st round was the selection of Blake Bortles 3rd overall by The Jacksonville Jaguars.  I understand that he is your prototypical quarterback, standing 6’5″ and weighing in at 232 pounds, and he played his college football in the state of Florida, and Jacksonville desperately needs a quarterback, BUT I think that it was a reach taking Bortles this early.  The 2nd quarterback selected was Johnny Manziel at #22, so the Jaguars definitely could have capitalized on having the #3 pick by trading back in the draft, still drafting Bortles, and picking up an extra pick or 2 in the 2nd or 3rd round. 

 

The first trade occurred at the 4th overall pick in the draft, where The Buffalo Bills traded up from the 9th pick to acquire, who I believe is the best wide receiver in the draft, Sammy Watkins.  The Bills traded their 9th pick this year and their 1st and 5th round picks in the 2015 to The Cleveland Browns for the 4th overall pick.  Personally, I like this move because I feel that Watkins has the potential to be one of the best wide outs in the NFL for the next 8-10 years.  This is a move that I have been talking about for weeks, only I was hopeful that The New York Jets (having 1,278 draft picks this year) would have taken advantage of such an opportunity.  Instead, The Jets drafted Calvin Pryor, a hard hitting safety from Louisville.  I like Pryor, and while I believe he is the best safety in the draft, I would have been much happier with a cornerback (Darqueze Dennard) or a wide receiver (Brandin Cooks) at the 18th overall pick in the draft.  I believe that John Idzik was thinking about position depth in this years draft when he made this selection.  There is plenty of talent at cornerback and wide receiver, but the talent at safety is scarce.  Also, The Jets do have another 11 picks in this years draft, so I’m sure they will fulfill their needs at wide receiver, cornerback, tight end, and most importantly WIDE RECEIVER.  Did I say wide receiver?? 

 

The Jets crosstown riv…..oh wait they play in the same building and they’re not rivals, but anyway, The New York Giants did select a wide receiver with the 12th overall pick in the draft.  They chose a very talented playmaker in Odell Beckham Jr. from LSU.  I think The Giants should have drafted an offensive lineman here, because you can have all the talent you want at wide receiver, but if you can’t protect your quarterback, and provide him with enough time to throw the ball, then your talent at wide receiver will be all for naught.  However, you can’t solve all of your problems in 1 pick, so we will have to wait and see what The New York Giants do with their other 6 draft picks. 

 

Ah yes, which brings us to little Johnny football, aka Johnny Manziel.  Manziel “dropped” down to the 22nd pick in the 1st round.  ESPN kept showing his face on the screen as if we were supposed to feel bad for him for sitting in the spot light for 3 hours.  I think he and his millions will be just fine (as he so clearly let us know by rubbing his fingers together on his way on stage as if to say “show me the money”).  And despite all the money he did lose by not being drafted until 22nd, he did not get drafted into a bad situation.  If you look at all of the possible teams that could have drafted him, The Minnesota Vikings or Jacksonville Jaguars, he actually landed in the best situation.  The Browns offensive line isn’t terrible and Manziel will have 2 viable options at pass catching positions (Josh Gordon and Jordan Cameron).  Having a reliable running back would help Manziel out, but it’s a better situation than his fellow competitor Blake Bortles is in. 

 

All-in-all I think it was an entertaining 1st round with a lot of interesting picks and moves.  I do have a gripe with the NFL though, with the way the draft is run.  Let’s use the very first pick of the entire draft as an example.  The Houston Texans have known they were going to pick #1 overall for quite some time now.  They obviously had decided before 8:00 p.m. last night that they were not going to trade their pick and they were going to select Jadeveon Clowney.  So, why in the world did it take them nearly 7 minutes to announce their selection?!?!?!  I’ll tell you why.  Now, I don’t want to get all conspiracy theory on everybody, but the NFL is a money making business just like any business in the world.  I have said many times before, and I will say it again: Everything is about money.  The longer the draft takes, the more money the NFL makes.  To keep watching the 2014 NFL Draft, you can tune in to ESPN tonight at 7:00 p.m. and coverage will continue at 8:00 p.m. on ESPN2.  Enjoy!!

 

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Thank you for reading and leave a comment in the section below.

            

           

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

big mo

Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. After a 3 week break, I’m back!! Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in One Line and One Line only. Enjoy!!

All I have to say about the Jacksonville Jaguars idea to give any fans who purchase tickets to their game this weekend 2 free beers is: MMMMMMMMMMM BEER.

And, where can I buy some Jag’s tickets?

I wish everyone would understand that this 10 year/$305 million number Robinson Cano is “asking” for is just a bunch of white smoke.

No one is going to give him more than 7 years/$196 million (which is still absurd but it’s quite a bit less then $305), I mean the guy literally walks to 1st base on groundballs.

Hey Jay-Z, I know you like money because it ain’t a thang but stop trying to steamroll The Yankees and let’s get real.

Speaking of The Yankees, let’s get serious.

Thursday night marked the last time the best closer of all-time, Mariano Rivera, would ever step foot on the mound in Yankees Stadium.

His career is unparalleled and is one of the finest human beings to ever play the game of baseball.

Good luck filling those shoes David Robertson.

Andy Pettite is also hangin ’em up after this season, making his final start this weekend in Houston.

He had a very solid career and will be missed in the Yankees organization as well.

Let me preface the next few statements by saying I Love The New York Jets.

But, they are NOT as good as everyone thinks.

I repeat, they are not very good.

The Defense is very good, but this is still a 6 or 7 win team at best, and for people to think they are going to make the playoffs all of a sudden because they are 2-1 is RIDICULOUS!!

Oh they beat The Tampa Bay Buccaneers and The Buffalo Bills, both at home, yeah you’re right they’re great what was I thinking?!?!

Is it awkward for The Sacramento Kings organization to have Shaquille O’ Neal be part owner now considering he called them The Sacramento Queens back in the day??

I hate Floyd Mayweather Jr. with a passion!!

But, he is the best in the world right now, so you gotta give him credit where it’s due.

Bye Bye Bud Selig, you will not be missed.

I think he wanted to retire before Major League Baseball’s squeaky clean name got tied to Steroids, haha.

RG3 says he doesn’t know how to slide, and to that I say: What are you retarded?

Way to grow some cojones Carlos Gomez!!

I mean Brian McCann would have kicked your ass, but at least you didn’t back down or hide behind an umpire in a scrum like Chris Johnson.

Dwyane Wade and Kevin Durant don’t have real beef with each other, rather they are in cahoots in some major marketing scheme….just wait and see.

So The New York Knicks and Brooklyn Nets are going to split the 2015 All-Star Game Festivities right down the middle???

Yeah, nothing says heated rivalry like a little sharing.

Have you ever seen someone take a bigger beating in a victory before in your life?

Don’t know what I’m talking about just see exhibit A: UFC Champion Jon Jones’ face after defeating Alexander Gustafsson.

jon jones

Someone let The New York Football Giants know what time their game is this week because I don’t think they knew last week; that’s why they didn’t show up!

Ouch!

Have you ever watched (or not watched) a more pathetic display of football in your life?

Maybe they’ll put forth a better effort in Kansas City this week….eh probably not.

Yeah, we believe you Colin Kaepernick when you say you don’t care what anybody has to say about you.

So is that why you SAVED AND FAVORTIED all of your hate tweets online last week?

Idiot.

Well, this has been another edition of One Liner Friday’s. I hope you enjoyed them!! If you have your own One Liner’s you want to leave me, please write them in the comment section below. Thanks.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 2 Comments

peyton

Hello and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Peyton Manning is very very very very very good at football.

Hey Flacco, I hope you had your notepad and pencil out while Mr. Manning was taking you to school (nice contract Ravens).

Seriously though, everyone should stop doubting Manning and his arm strength and his age and should just realize that he is one of the best to ever do it (NO, NOT 6, 7, 7 IS THE NUMBER!).

Something About Mary?

Oh Yankees, every time I think you’re going to return to form and storm your way into the playoffs, you go and do something like that.

In case you missed it, Big Mo blew a save (obviously against the Red Sox) and then who else but Joba the hut would go on to lose the game.

I still think the Yankees land the final Wild Card spot in the playoffs this year, watch.

I’ve said it about 10 times now, and I will say it again, Floyd Mayweather Jr. will be handed his first ever loss by Canelo Alvarez on Saturday September 14th.

I am looking forward to 50 Cent and Justin Bieber performing for Mayweather as he walks to the ring though (how stupid is that).

Nobody thinks that Cary Williams wanted to fight Riley Cooper because he is a blatant racist do they??

Because that would be absurd!

Hey, uh, Geno Smith, we passed on you just like everyone else in the 1st round of the draft, and we are actually going to play Mark ‘the worst quarterback in the history of the world’ Sanchez over you, but now that ummm, oh man this is awkward, now that he happens to be hurt THIS IS YOUR OFFENSE AND IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN!!

Yeah, I think he believes you and he’s buying the vote of confidence.

And if he’s not I certainly am.

It has been one of the most spectacular and impressive careers in the history of sports, but Roger Federer is officially on the Decline.

2013 became the first year he hasn’t reached a single Grand Slam Final since 2002 (back before he was the R-FED).

His career is not over, and I think he will make a comeback and have a nice showing in 2014 before he rides off into the sunset, but this is the first of many tributes to one of the finest athletes of all time.

Hey, uh, Andy Murray, I know you’re really busy being the ugliest man in the world, but a player of your stature should never lose in straight sets in the quarterfinals.

You know, instead of suspending Ryan Braun for the rest of the season, they should have just suspended him for 4.5 innings.

No?

Oh, that only works for privileged stuck up little children in College Football, my bad.

Who gives out a suspension of half of a game?!?!?

That’s like taking a convicted felon and saying, you know what we’re going to do, forget the whole prison thing, we are just going to give you about 25 minutes in the pink timeout chair in the corner (obviously the timeout chair is pink).

Thanks for reading everyone, and if you have your own one liner’s that you want to post, please feel free to do so in the comment section below. Enjoy your weekend everyone!!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

I’d Ask, But I Know You Are Ready For Some Football!!

~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

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Your birthday? Nope. Your anniversary? Nah. That day you randomly find a $20 in your jacket that you haven’t worn in 3 months? Almost, but no. So what is the best day of the year? It is today; Opening Day of the NFL Season. It is the day you’ve been waiting for ever since the unbelievably annoying Ray Lewis hoisted The Lombardi Trophy over is head in February. Well, the wait is over. You can have a snickers bar and you can watch some football. You can finally see how your fantasy picks will pan out. And, you all have a reason to sit on the couch and do nothing. Enjoy what should undoubtedly be made a National Holiday.

The 2013 NFL Season kicks off tonight, Thursday September 5th, with the defending champion Baltimore Ravens taking on the Denver Broncos (I think we all remember what happened the last time these teams met). To say The Broncos will be looking for revenge would be an understatement. The Broncos enter the season with extremely high expectations. Some have them in or winning The Super Bowl this year thanks to the additions of Wes Welker and others. Even with their best defender, Von Miller, suspended for the first 4 games of the season they are still looked at as the favorites in the AFC. On the other hand, the defending champion Ravens enter the season with a handful of question marks. How do they replace Ray Lewis and Ed Reed? Will Joe Flacco live up to the astronomically high contract he was given last year? Can you really win with just 1 wide receiver? That last one was a joke, but seriously how are you going to win with Torrey Smith and me at wide receiver? Despite his impressive Super Bowl performance and his wonderful (haha) showing on Dancing With The Stars, Jacoby Jones is actually not very good at football. These are some of the questions that will certainly be answered once the season gets under way. You can catch tonight’s opening game on NBC at 8:30 P.M. Who do you like to win this game? I have Denver (at home) winning a relatively close game 24-17.

The rest of Week 1 will be played on Sunday and Monday. So, clear your schedules for the weekend, find that ass groove in the couch that has missed you so dearly, and lets get ready for some football. I am now ready to give you some of my thoughts and predictions on the upcoming season. Everyone has an opinion on their own favorite team and who they think will win, but football more than any other sport is incredibly unpredictable. Players get injured at a very high rate, and every year we seem to have a completely unknown player climb out of the woodwork and land right in the limelight. Nonetheless, lets make some predictions. I shall start with my favorite “team”, The New York Jets. Their team can be summed up in one word: Joke. They are a complete and utter joke. I see them winning 4 games at most, but most likely will only pull off 3 lucky victories. With that being said, I still believe it is not fair for ESPN to rank the Jets as the worst team in the NFL. That distinction clearly should be held by The Oakland Raiders (Chris Berman voice). Anyway, I see the Raiders, Jets, and Jaguars all being very very bad, and I wouldn’t be surprised if any of these teams wound up as the worst team in the league. And now, I will provide you with the Division winners, Wild Card teams, and Super Bowl Champion that will make up the 2013 playoffs.

In the AFC East, I don’t see how any other team will come out of that division than The New England Patriots. Everyone can talk about how much better The Miami Dolphins will be, but I’m sorry Ryan Tannehill, I’m just not buying it. The AFC West is also a pretty easy division to figure out. The Denver Broncos will handily win this division. Most people are eager to hop on the Kansas City Chiefs bandwagon, but I’m also not prepared to do that either. Will they be in a hunt for the Wild Card with 3 games to go? It’s very possible, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if they were 4-9 by then either. Oh, they have Alex Smith? Well then, that changes everything, they’ll probably win The Super Bowl. What was I thinking? The AFC North and South are a little tougher to figure out, and will probably provide the playoffs with the other 4 teams in the AFC this year. The AFC North will be a tightly contested division, but I feel that The Cincinnati Bengals will prevail. I also believe that The Ravens, not The Steelers will land a Wild Card spot this year. The Steelers have no running game, and Big Ben just isn’t good enough to win without a good supporting cast and top 10 defense. The AFC South is a fun division and should also bring 2 playoff teams to the mix this year. The Indianapolis Colts will win this division behind the strong play of Andrew Luck (he is the real deal and will be the best 2nd year QB in the NFL this season). The Texans will land the other Wild Card spot this year.

    AFC Playoff Picture

1.) Denver Broncos
2.) New England Patriots
3.) Indianapolis Colts
4.) Cincinnati Bengals
5.) Baltimore Ravens
6.) Houston Texans

I envision The Denver Broncos beating The New England Patriots in the AFC Championship (and giving everyone that one last Peyton Vs. Tom showdown everyone was looking for last year).

As for the NFC, I see this as the much harder conference to predict. The NFC East by itself is like flipping a 4-sided coin. But, here goes nothing. In the NFC East, as much as I hate them and love watching them crumble under pressure, I see the Dallas Cowboys narrowly pulling out the division title this year. I think The New York Giants will be in the fight for a Wild Card spot all season but will fall just short of the playoffs yet again this season. The NFC West, which is seen as the strongest division in the NFL should definitely bring 2 teams to the playoffs this year. I have The San Francisco 49ers winning the division, and The Seattle Seahawks winning a Wild Card spot. The NFC North should be a battle between 2 long time rivals; The Packers and Da Bears. I see The Packers edging out the Bears for the Division while Jay Cutler will once again be watching the playoffs from home this season. Last, but certainly not least, there is my favorite division in football, The NFC South. This division should also produce 2 playoff teams this season. The Atlanta Falcons will once again win the division while the New Orleans Saints will land the final playoff spot this season.

    NFC Playoff Picture

1.) San Francisco
2.) Atlanta Falcons
3.) Green Bay Packers
4.) Dallas Cowboys
5.) Seattle Seahawks
6.) New Orleans Saints

Let me repeat how unpredictable the NFC is going to be this season. Don’t be surprised if the Wild Cards consist of The Bears, Redskins, Giants, or Redskins. However, based off my predictions, I see The San Francisco 49ers beating the Atlanta Falcons in the NFC Championship in a rematch of last year. As for the Super Bowl, I see Peyton Manning prevailing to win his 2nd Lombardi Trophy, while Colin Kaepernick suffers his 2nd straight defeat in the Super Bowl. And that my friends, is how I see the NFL season playing out this year. It is a long road, and it all starts tonight. However it plays out, enjoy it!!

Please leave me your predictions for the upcoming NFL Season below in the comment section. Thank you.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

081813_craziness

Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Ah yes, I must start with Ryan “Put Him In The Dumpster” Dempster.

I figured it out, The Dumpster thinks he is Batman, and felt taking the law into his own hands was perfectly acceptable (“They’ll have to understand, I’m Batman!”).

You know, it’s a shame Dempster had do this, I actually used to like him thanks to his hysterical Harry Caray impression.

Ryan Braun is O.J. Simpson.

Think about it, if you obviously committed a crime and got away with it, wouldn’t you go hide in a cave somewhere and make sure you never repeated such an egregious error again?

Enough of this Preseason nonsense, let’s bring on the real football already!

Are you ready for some fantasy football??

How bout dem’ Yankees!!

They have now won 5 games in a row, and they’re coming for a playoff spot; watch out everybody.

I know A-Rod has helped the team in their latest surge, but for people not to thank Alfonso Soriano for the teams offensive resurgence is ridiculous.

Tiger keeps playing well before and after Majors, hmmmmmm.

Anybody else tired of hearing about Jhonny Manziel?

Oh okay good, it’s not just me, for a second there I thought everyone was enjoying that drivel.

Roger Federer ranked 7th in the U.S. Open?!?!

It’ll be sad to watch him go, but this is the beginning of the end for the best tennis player in the history of the world.

I bet you didn’t know this, or even know who they are, but the Bryan brothers are the Tiger Woods (if you could clone him) of Men’s Doubles in Tennis.

They are twin brothers, and they currently hold the ‘Tiger Slam’ in tennis and will make it the traditional Grand Slam when they win The U.S. Open and hold all 4 Slam titles in the same calendar year.

By the way Ryan Braun, no one wants your stupid fake apology so just shove it somewhere painful.

Clayton Kershaw is one of the best pitchers baseball has ever seen, his e.r.a. this season is 1.72!

Cliff Paul’s twin brother Chris was named the NBA’s new President of the Player’s Union.

I think it’s a solid move (I mean who wouldn’t want a car insurance agent working for them?).

I know I’m repeating myself with this one, but I want everyone to know who predicted Mayweather’s first loss first.

Canelo Alvarez will take down Floyd Mayweather Jr. on September 14th.

Major League Baseball is getting to the exciting part of the year when the rest of you start watching and football is right around the corner, man this time of the year is great.

Enjoy the rest of your summer everyone!!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

20130816-053208.jpg

Hello and welcome to another edition of One Liner Fridays. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Hey Jason Dufner, you just won your 1st Major, The PGA Championship, you can smile now.

Have you ever seen a more emotionless man in the entire world??

Man, the most emotion he showed was in the butt slap he gave his wife right after he won the tournament (awesome).

Sound the alarm, call the National Guard, alert the President, Tom Brady stubbed his toe!!

I’ll have whatever Alfonso Soriano is having.

I still don’t understand why the Jets are being talked about, they are going to be the worst team in the NFL this season.

However, everyone is missing the point (as usual) with Rex Ryan’s “brutal” comment about Geno Smith.

Rex obviously knows he’s on the hot seat (his ass might as well be on fire), and the only way to save his job is to stick with ‘his guy’ in Sanchez and go down with the ship.

It’s partly his pride for sticking with Sanchez, but if Sanchez magically figures it out maybe Rex is employed come next August (he figures there’s no way he can win anything with a rookie).

Hey Tiger, the fairway’s that way
——————->!!

Who’s pumped for football??

Hey RG3, do you mind if we create a controversy between you and your coach out of absolutely nothing?

Heyyyy, Major League Baseball finally threw out their black and white TV, took their corn cob pipe out of their mouths, sold their transistor radio, and has decided to join us in the 21st century.

For those of you who don’t know, MLB will be instituting instant replay in the near future.

The format for manager challenges is not even close to the right way to do this, but it is a step in the right direction.

Are there enough of you out there watching baseball to realize how unbelievable of a season Miguel Cabrera is having?

He won the Triple Crown last year, and he is putting that season to shame (enjoy history).

Clayton Kershaw = Beast!

Greg Jennings needs shut his trap, running his mouth about a former teammate who just happens to be the best quarterback in the league is nota good idea.

Remember when Don Mattingly was almost fired and then the Dodgers went 40-8 over their next 48 games??

Say thank you to Yasiel.

And finally, I know some of you were worried but yes, Johnny Manziel is still an idiot.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

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Hello everybody and welcome back to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

So do you think Sergio Garcia and Riley Cooper are best buds?

I think so, I think they hang out at each other’s house and try to come up with ways to alienate themselves and potentially ruin any success they may have ever created leading up to that very moment.

I am slightly disappointed that Michael Vick is taking this whole forgiveness route, I don’t know about you but I think Cooper deserves the “Old Michael Vick” treatment.

You know what I mean.

Inbee Park!!

Who?

Oh you know just a professional female golfer who’s playing for her 4th consecutive grand slam title.

I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.

Tiger shoots an opening round 66, making every putt under the sun at the Bridgestone Invitational.

This comes just a week after the Open Championship, where he couldn’t putt the ball into a garbage can if it was right in front of him.

SHUT UP BUCK SHOWALTER!!

For those of who didn’t see what he had to say about A-Rod and The Yankees, have no fear:

“If Bud (Selig) lets them get away with that, they’re under the luxury tax,” Showalter told USA Today. “If they can reset, they can spend again and I guarantee you in two years Matt Wieters is in New York. They’re the ones who signed him to that contract.”

Let them get away with that?

I’m sorry, did The Yankees ask A-Rod or anyone else on their team to do steroids?

Are The Yankees, or any team, complicit in the use of steroids?

Is Buck Showalter the biggest crybaby known to man?

It is amazing how big the target on their back is, and how this is only a “story” because it involves The Yankees.

They don’t boo the bad teams.

Alabama is clearly the best college football team in the country, but why does everyone get so riled up over preseason rankings?

Everyone understands that this is not the same roster from last season right?

Just checking.

How about we play the games and see what happens (or let a computer decide everything and not even bother; either way).

I love how everyone is writing Canelo Alvarez off before his fight with Floyd Mayweather, but as I’ve said before and I’ll say it again right now:
Canelo Alvarez will hand Floyd Mayweather his first professional loss of his career.

Isn’t it hysterical that Greg Oden, who was drafted 6 years ago and still hasn’t played even close to a full season in the NBA due to chronic injuries; get’s to choosethe team that will have the ‘privilege’ to pay him millions of dollars.

No, inmate #174954, you will no longer get airtime on my watch; thank you very much!

So, Kansas City Chief’s offensive coordinator is obviously messin’ with the same stuff Derek Rose is if he thinks Alex Smith is the best QB in the NFL.

I get it, he’s trying to build Smith’s confidence after it was trampled last season, but Smith is not even the best team in his division forget the whole league.

Let me end by saying that what Riley Cooper said is horrible.

It is obviously extremely insensitive, and I feel that that word (along with any slur towards anyone) has no place in society.

I’m here to bring levity and comedy (hopefully) to the world of sports, so please don’t take offense to anything I say or any pictures I may post even in regards to a sensitive situation.

Thanks for reading as always, and I hope you all enjoyed this weeks One Liners.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

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Hello and welcome back to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Hey what do you know, Bill Belichick does have a heart.

I was actually starting to wonder if he was a robot.

Has anyone seen that picture of Tyson Chandler in a pair of shorts?

Forget one line, I have one word for Tyson Chandler : SQUATS!

I know virtually no one has noticed, but we must be in bizarro world because the U.S. Men’s Soccer team has won 9 games in a row!

Dear Derek Rose, I love the confidence, but you must be high as a kite to say that you are the best player in the NBA.

We all know you didn’t play any games last year, but apparently you didn’t watch any games either.

The Hefty Lefty shot a remarkable final round 66 to win the Open Championship, I’m just glad there were no tents in his way this year.

From now on, I think Tiger Woods should wear Pink on Sundays.

Is anyone else tired of hearing about A-Rod?

Here, I will be taking a stand against the meaningless A-Rod drivel that everyone else is pushing.

I will give you one last line: he cheated and lied, but he’s clearly The Yankees best option at 3rd base so play him until he gets suspended.

Isn’t it sad though that The Yankees are going to rely on Alfonso Soriano to be their savior?

Wait a minute, Alfonso Soriano, Derek Jeter, Andy Pettite, and Mariano Rivera, where is Chuck Knoblauch when you need him?

Lebron left his city, now he’s turning his back on his own country, what’s next? (Maybe he’ll move to Canada)

Ryan Braun bet his life and he’s still alive and Aaron Rodgers bet his salary and he’s still living large, let’s bring out the electric chair so we can move on with our day. #welchonabet

Matt Ryan gets paid!!!!!!

Apparently winning 1 career playoff game is the new benchmark for a $100 million dollar contract.

So big hits at the college level are now cause for ejection, I’m glad the NCAA is attempting to completely ruin another aspect of their game, what a shocker.

They might as well put tutu’s on these guys and let them hit each other with pillows.

Football is a violent sport, let’s leave it that way!!

Speaking of football, Jaws must be sharing Derek Rose’s stash if he thinks Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan are both better than Drew Brees.

On a serious note: I feel horrible for Tim Hudson, who over the past 15 years has been one of the most solid and consistent pitchers in all of baseball.

I feel really bad that he got injured the way he did, and I hope he is able to return to form and pitch in the Major League’s again.

The Mets are not just ruining their own players careers, but have now figured out how to ruin their opponents careers too.

Jaromir Jagr was born during World War II, and he is still playing in the NHL; amazing.

With the start of training camp it’s time to get excited about football, but I think it’s cute that Jets fans are actually convinced that they can win 9 games this year.

4 spot, if they’re lucky.

Have a nice weekend everybody!!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!