“DEREK JETER BABYYYYY!!!!” (DTS Podcast – #84)

January 22, 2020January 22, 2020 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

Derek Jeter was voted into the MLB Hall of Fame on Tuesday with 99.7% of the vote.

Yes, that means that 1 of the 397 voters DIDN’T vote for Derek Jeter.

And no, we don’t need to know who he/she is.

Exposing them for the fraud that they are gives them exactly what they want….FREE PUBLICITY!!

Don’t out them. Wait 6-8 months. Privately strip them of their vote.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!

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“The MLB Hall of Fame is an ABSOLUTE JOKE!!” (DaveTalksSports Podcast – Ep. #23)

July 22, 2019 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

Congratulations to Mariano Rivera, but he shouldn’t have been the 1st unanimous MLB Hall of Fame Inductee.

The MLB Hall of Fame is really really really REALLY STUPID!!!!

Congrats to Shane Lowry on winning The Open Championship!!

Enjoy the whiskey, and guinness, and whiskey.

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MLB Hall Of Fame Grows By 4

January 25, 2018 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

It’s the highest honor a professional athlete can receive. It’s the culmination of a life’s work. It’s validation.

The greatness of 4 individuals was recognized Wednesday evening, as they were elected to the MLB Hall of Fame:

Chipper Jones, Vladimir Guerrero, Jim Thome, and Trevor Hoffman.

This Hall of Fame class is strong, with 4 players being elected for just the 4th time (1947, 1955, 2015).

Chipper Jones, 3B/OF, Atlanta Braves (1993-2012 – 97.2%)

Chipper Jones played his entire 19-year career with the Atlanta Braves. As a switch-hitting third baseman and outfielder, Jones was part of the Braves’ dynasty that won 14 consecutive NL East Division Titles. Mets fans know what I’m talking about.

Jones’ career was filled with numerous accolades, including 8 All-Star Game appearances, 1 MVP, and 1 World Series. Jones ranks 3rd all-time in home runs by a switch hitter. As the #1 overall pick in the 1990 draft, Jones lived up to expectations, finishing 2nd in Rookie of the Year voting in 1995 (Hideo Nomo). Consistency and longevity could have been his nicknames, as he drove in at least 100 runs 9 times and hit at least 20 homes runs 14 times.

Check out his stats here.

Few are more deserving than Chipper Jones, and he can now smile knowing he’s been immortalized amongst the greatest to ever play the game.

Vladimir Guerrero, OF/DH, Montreal Expos/Los Angeles Angels (1996-2011 – 92.9%)

Has there ever been a scarier hitter?? No, he’s not the best hitter of all-time, but his ability to hit ANY pitch made him one of the toughest outs in MLB history. I once saw Vlad hit a homerun off of 1 knee. Vlad possessed a rare power, batting average combination. He hit over .300 in 14 of his 16 seasons, hit 25 home runs 12 times, and drove in 100 runs 10 times. I’m still trying to figure out how he didn’t make it in on his 1st ballot….

Check out his stats here.

Vlad also had the best arm I’ve ever seen. When you can throw the ball from the right field wall to home plate, on a fly, off your back foot, you have a GREAT arm!!

Jim Thome, 1B/3B/DH, Cleveland Indians (1991-2012 – 89.8%)

Jim Thome had 1 job, and he did it VERY well. His job was to hit the ball over the wall. He did that 612 times (8th all-time). That’s a lot of times!!

Allow me to put that into perspective. Thome hit at least 40 homes runs 6 times. Only 8 players have hit 40 home runs more times than Thome. And his slugging percentage (.554) ranks 23rd all-time.

Check out his stats here.

Oddly, Thome wore 6 different jerseys throughout his 22-year career. Thome, along with Jones, became a 1st ballot Hall of Famer Wednesday evening.

Trevor Hoffman, RP, San Diego Padres (1993-2010 – 79.9%)

Trevor Hoffman is in elite company. He’s just the 6th reliever to be elected to the Hall of Fame. While he ranks 2nd all-time in saves (behind the almighty Mariano Rivera), he is a controversial selection for Cooperstown. Hoffman was known for 2 things: his strikeout ability, and his propensity to blow big games.

Check out his stats here.

Hoffman’s shortcomings won’t show up all over a stat sheet, but I don’t think he’s worthy of the Hall of Fame. It should be the Hall of Great, not the Hall of Very Good.

Do you agree with the Hall of Fame selections?? Is Trevor Hoffman a Hall of Famer?? Tell me everything you think in the comment section below.

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One Liner Friday’s

September 27, 2013September 27, 2013 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. After a 3 week break, I’m back!! Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in One Line and One Line only. Enjoy!!

All I have to say about the Jacksonville Jaguars idea to give any fans who purchase tickets to their game this weekend 2 free beers is: MMMMMMMMMMM BEER.

And, where can I buy some Jag’s tickets?

I wish everyone would understand that this 10 year/$305 million number Robinson Cano is “asking” for is just a bunch of white smoke.

No one is going to give him more than 7 years/$196 million (which is still absurd but it’s quite a bit less then $305), I mean the guy literally walks to 1st base on groundballs.

Hey Jay-Z, I know you like money because it ain’t a thang but stop trying to steamroll The Yankees and let’s get real.

Speaking of The Yankees, let’s get serious.

Thursday night marked the last time the best closer of all-time, Mariano Rivera, would ever step foot on the mound in Yankees Stadium.

His career is unparalleled and is one of the finest human beings to ever play the game of baseball.

Good luck filling those shoes David Robertson.

Andy Pettite is also hangin ’em up after this season, making his final start this weekend in Houston.

He had a very solid career and will be missed in the Yankees organization as well.

Let me preface the next few statements by saying I Love The New York Jets.

But, they are NOT as good as everyone thinks.

I repeat, they are not very good.

The Defense is very good, but this is still a 6 or 7 win team at best, and for people to think they are going to make the playoffs all of a sudden because they are 2-1 is RIDICULOUS!!

Oh they beat The Tampa Bay Buccaneers and The Buffalo Bills, both at home, yeah you’re right they’re great what was I thinking?!?!

Is it awkward for The Sacramento Kings organization to have Shaquille O’ Neal be part owner now considering he called them The Sacramento Queens back in the day??

I hate Floyd Mayweather Jr. with a passion!!

But, he is the best in the world right now, so you gotta give him credit where it’s due.

Bye Bye Bud Selig, you will not be missed.

I think he wanted to retire before Major League Baseball’s squeaky clean name got tied to Steroids, haha.

RG3 says he doesn’t know how to slide, and to that I say: What are you retarded?

Way to grow some cojones Carlos Gomez!!

I mean Brian McCann would have kicked your ass, but at least you didn’t back down or hide behind an umpire in a scrum like Chris Johnson.

Dwyane Wade and Kevin Durant don’t have real beef with each other, rather they are in cahoots in some major marketing scheme….just wait and see.

So The New York Knicks and Brooklyn Nets are going to split the 2015 All-Star Game Festivities right down the middle???

Yeah, nothing says heated rivalry like a little sharing.

Have you ever seen someone take a bigger beating in a victory before in your life?

Don’t know what I’m talking about just see exhibit A: UFC Champion Jon Jones’ face after defeating Alexander Gustafsson.

Someone let The New York Football Giants know what time their game is this week because I don’t think they knew last week; that’s why they didn’t show up!

Ouch!

Have you ever watched (or not watched) a more pathetic display of football in your life?

Maybe they’ll put forth a better effort in Kansas City this week….eh probably not.

Yeah, we believe you Colin Kaepernick when you say you don’t care what anybody has to say about you.

So is that why you SAVED AND FAVORTIED all of your hate tweets online last week?

Idiot.

Well, this has been another edition of One Liner Friday’s. I hope you enjoyed them!! If you have your own One Liner’s you want to leave me, please write them in the comment section below. Thanks.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

September 6, 2013September 6, 2013 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ 2 Comments

Hello and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Peyton Manning is very very very very very good at football.

Hey Flacco, I hope you had your notepad and pencil out while Mr. Manning was taking you to school (nice contract Ravens).

Seriously though, everyone should stop doubting Manning and his arm strength and his age and should just realize that he is one of the best to ever do it (NO, NOT 6, 7, 7 IS THE NUMBER!).

Something About Mary?

Oh Yankees, every time I think you’re going to return to form and storm your way into the playoffs, you go and do something like that.

In case you missed it, Big Mo blew a save (obviously against the Red Sox) and then who else but Joba the hut would go on to lose the game.

I still think the Yankees land the final Wild Card spot in the playoffs this year, watch.

I’ve said it about 10 times now, and I will say it again, Floyd Mayweather Jr. will be handed his first ever loss by Canelo Alvarez on Saturday September 14th.

I am looking forward to 50 Cent and Justin Bieber performing for Mayweather as he walks to the ring though (how stupid is that).

Nobody thinks that Cary Williams wanted to fight Riley Cooper because he is a blatant racist do they??

Because that would be absurd!

Hey, uh, Geno Smith, we passed on you just like everyone else in the 1st round of the draft, and we are actually going to play Mark ‘the worst quarterback in the history of the world’ Sanchez over you, but now that ummm, oh man this is awkward, now that he happens to be hurt THIS IS YOUR OFFENSE AND IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN!!

Yeah, I think he believes you and he’s buying the vote of confidence.

And if he’s not I certainly am.

It has been one of the most spectacular and impressive careers in the history of sports, but Roger Federer is officially on the Decline.

2013 became the first year he hasn’t reached a single Grand Slam Final since 2002 (back before he was the R-FED).

His career is not over, and I think he will make a comeback and have a nice showing in 2014 before he rides off into the sunset, but this is the first of many tributes to one of the finest athletes of all time.

Hey, uh, Andy Murray, I know you’re really busy being the ugliest man in the world, but a player of your stature should never lose in straight sets in the quarterfinals.

You know, instead of suspending Ryan Braun for the rest of the season, they should have just suspended him for 4.5 innings.

No?

Oh, that only works for privileged stuck up little children in College Football, my bad.

Who gives out a suspension of half of a game?!?!?

That’s like taking a convicted felon and saying, you know what we’re going to do, forget the whole prison thing, we are just going to give you about 25 minutes in the pink timeout chair in the corner (obviously the timeout chair is pink).

Thanks for reading everyone, and if you have your own one liner’s that you want to post, please feel free to do so in the comment section below. Enjoy your weekend everyone!!

One Liner Friday’s

August 2, 2013August 2, 2013 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

Hello everybody and welcome back to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

So do you think Sergio Garcia and Riley Cooper are best buds?

I think so, I think they hang out at each other’s house and try to come up with ways to alienate themselves and potentially ruin any success they may have ever created leading up to that very moment.

I am slightly disappointed that Michael Vick is taking this whole forgiveness route, I don’t know about you but I think Cooper deserves the “Old Michael Vick” treatment.

You know what I mean.

Inbee Park!!

Who?

Oh you know just a professional female golfer who’s playing for her 4th consecutive grand slam title.

I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.

Tiger shoots an opening round 66, making every putt under the sun at the Bridgestone Invitational.

This comes just a week after the Open Championship, where he couldn’t putt the ball into a garbage can if it was right in front of him.

SHUT UP BUCK SHOWALTER!!

For those of who didn’t see what he had to say about A-Rod and The Yankees, have no fear:

“If Bud (Selig) lets them get away with that, they’re under the luxury tax,” Showalter told USA Today. “If they can reset, they can spend again and I guarantee you in two years Matt Wieters is in New York. They’re the ones who signed him to that contract.”

Let them get away with that?

I’m sorry, did The Yankees ask A-Rod or anyone else on their team to do steroids?

Are The Yankees, or any team, complicit in the use of steroids?

Is Buck Showalter the biggest crybaby known to man?

It is amazing how big the target on their back is, and how this is only a “story” because it involves The Yankees.

They don’t boo the bad teams.

Alabama is clearly the best college football team in the country, but why does everyone get so riled up over preseason rankings?

Everyone understands that this is not the same roster from last season right?

Just checking.

How about we play the games and see what happens (or let a computer decide everything and not even bother; either way).

I love how everyone is writing Canelo Alvarez off before his fight with Floyd Mayweather, but as I’ve said before and I’ll say it again right now:
Canelo Alvarez will hand Floyd Mayweather his first professional loss of his career.

Isn’t it hysterical that Greg Oden, who was drafted 6 years ago and still hasn’t played even close to a full season in the NBA due to chronic injuries; get’s to choosethe team that will have the ‘privilege’ to pay him millions of dollars.

No, inmate #174954, you will no longer get airtime on my watch; thank you very much!

So, Kansas City Chief’s offensive coordinator is obviously messin’ with the same stuff Derek Rose is if he thinks Alex Smith is the best QB in the NFL.

I get it, he’s trying to build Smith’s confidence after it was trampled last season, but Smith is not even the best team in his division forget the whole league.

Let me end by saying that what Riley Cooper said is horrible.

It is obviously extremely insensitive, and I feel that that word (along with any slur towards anyone) has no place in society.

I’m here to bring levity and comedy (hopefully) to the world of sports, so please don’t take offense to anything I say or any pictures I may post even in regards to a sensitive situation.

Thanks for reading as always, and I hope you all enjoyed this weeks One Liners.

One Liner Friday’s

July 26, 2013July 26, 2013 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

Hello and welcome back to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Hey what do you know, Bill Belichick does have a heart.

I was actually starting to wonder if he was a robot.

Has anyone seen that picture of Tyson Chandler in a pair of shorts?

Forget one line, I have one word for Tyson Chandler : SQUATS!

I know virtually no one has noticed, but we must be in bizarro world because the U.S. Men’s Soccer team has won 9 games in a row!

Dear Derek Rose, I love the confidence, but you must be high as a kite to say that you are the best player in the NBA.

We all know you didn’t play any games last year, but apparently you didn’t watch any games either.

The Hefty Lefty shot a remarkable final round 66 to win the Open Championship, I’m just glad there were no tents in his way this year.

From now on, I think Tiger Woods should wear Pink on Sundays.

Is anyone else tired of hearing about A-Rod?

Here, I will be taking a stand against the meaningless A-Rod drivel that everyone else is pushing.

I will give you one last line: he cheated and lied, but he’s clearly The Yankees best option at 3rd base so play him until he gets suspended.

Isn’t it sad though that The Yankees are going to rely on Alfonso Soriano to be their savior?

Wait a minute, Alfonso Soriano, Derek Jeter, Andy Pettite, and Mariano Rivera, where is Chuck Knoblauch when you need him?

Lebron left his city, now he’s turning his back on his own country, what’s next? (Maybe he’ll move to Canada)

Ryan Braun bet his life and he’s still alive and Aaron Rodgers bet his salary and he’s still living large, let’s bring out the electric chair so we can move on with our day. #welchonabet

Matt Ryan gets paid!!!!!!

Apparently winning 1 career playoff game is the new benchmark for a $100 million dollar contract.

So big hits at the college level are now cause for ejection, I’m glad the NCAA is attempting to completely ruin another aspect of their game, what a shocker.

They might as well put tutu’s on these guys and let them hit each other with pillows.

Football is a violent sport, let’s leave it that way!!

Speaking of football, Jaws must be sharing Derek Rose’s stash if he thinks Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan are both better than Drew Brees.

On a serious note: I feel horrible for Tim Hudson, who over the past 15 years has been one of the most solid and consistent pitchers in all of baseball.

I feel really bad that he got injured the way he did, and I hope he is able to return to form and pitch in the Major League’s again.

The Mets are not just ruining their own players careers, but have now figured out how to ruin their opponents careers too.

Jaromir Jagr was born during World War II, and he is still playing in the NHL; amazing.

With the start of training camp it’s time to get excited about football, but I think it’s cute that Jets fans are actually convinced that they can win 9 games this year.

4 spot, if they’re lucky.

Have a nice weekend everybody!!

One Liner Fridays

May 24, 2013May 24, 2013 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

I just wanted to wish the New York Knicks good luck against the Miami Heat this week.

Oh wait sorry never mind, you have to actually beat the other teams on your schedule first.

You mean things don’t happen just because you say they’re going to??

Sergio, I’m making dinner tomorrow night, do you want to come over?

I’m making Paella!

How bout dem’ Yankees!

Seriously though if the baseball season ended today Mariano Rivera would win the CY Young Award.

Amazing!!

On another serious note Da Bears are finally going to retire Mike Ditka’s number.

Congratulations Ditka!!

“I took a punch from Hall of Famer, Mike Ditka, and I did not go down!”

“Sure, I wobbled a bit, but I did not go down.”

“That Ditka has fists like a small truck.”

If you haven’t seen the movie Kicking and Screaming you should, it’s pretty funny and Mike Ditka is very funny in it.

Miguel Cabrera is really good at baseball.

Just in case you forgot, the NHL Playoffs are going on right now.

I know, it’s wild that you didn’t know that.

(Inside Indiana Pacers huddle before the final play of game 1) Frank Vogel speaking (probably really fast in a funny voice) : Roy Hibbert what are you, uh 7’2″, yea you probably can’t block anyone’s shot you take a seat here next to me, and nobody guard that #6 guy I heard he’s not very good.

How’d that work out for ya?

Heyyyyyyy, the New York Rangers won a hockey game!

Hey Chase Utley’s hurt again, that’s a shocker.

Why do NBA players think it’s okay to dress like this……….

http://m.bleacherreport.com/articles/1649354-paul-georges-outfit-last-night-was-a-sea-of-microorganisms-and-regret

All of these atrocious outfits in the NBA have inspired me to write a book that will be entitled: Where Have All The Men Gone?

I always set my Sno-Cones down on the bathroom floor at a stadium filled with people.

Then I don’t wash my hands and I sell them.

Word on the street is they were lemon flavor…..mmmmmm yummy!

Hey RG3, can your daddy fight my battles for me too??

I’m glad I’m not Mark Sanchez.

I am really glad I watched The Preakness… NOT!

Can I get a stare down here?

Andre Ethier’s wasn’t bad, but if you want to see the best stare down of all-time check this out :

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0sTNI85QM4A

You’re awesome Frank Robinson.

I hope you’ve enjoyed another installment of One Liner Fridays. Leave me your best One Liner in the comment section.

One Liner Fridays

May 17, 2013May 17, 2013 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

This is my 2nd post of the day, so make sure to scroll down to check out my post on the New York Knicks.

Hey Bryce Harper, there’s a wall there, uh somebody should uh move it.

Nick Saban is the devil?

What did somebody hear Saban’s name in a Judas Priest song playing backwards?

Heyyyyyyyy the Knicks won a basketball game.

Gronkowski with a pile driver!

What an idiot!

Don’t be sad Kevin Durant, maybe Lebron James won’t be good next year.

The Yankees are in a familiar place (1st) with unfamiliar faces.

Phil Hughes sucks though.

Joba Chamberlain is lucky that Mariano Rivera is the nicest most classy guy in sports.

If he wasn’t I’m pretty sure Joba would be trying to put his face back together right now.

Tiger Woods never left, he just checked out for a little while, and then he checked in and out and in and out of motels all over the country.

But seriously though, Tiger woods is and always has been the best golfer on the planet.

Nice shot(s) Sergio.

Way to not choke.

Best Free Agent Signing in the NFL in 2013 goes to: Drum Roll Please………….

David Garrard to the New York Jets.

Only the Jets can sign someone and have them retire before they ever play a single snap.

They should resign Tim Tebow to take his roster spot.

Titus Young should write two books.

His first book should be entitled: How to get arrested twice in one day.

Then his follow-up book should be called: Twice wasn’t enough? I can teach you how to get arrested a third time in one week.

Let me be the first to say that if Floyd Mayweather fights Canelo Alvarez, he will suffer his first professional loss.

Hey Beckham, NOBODY CARES!!

I hope you enjoyed this weeks one liners. Let me know what you thought in the comment section below. Thank you for reading.

Yanks Get On The Board

April 5, 2013April 5, 2013 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

No, you didn’t travel back in time, that was Andy Pettite handing the ball to Mariano Rivera. Andy Pettite showed signs of his former self and pitched a phenomenal game against the rival Boston Red Sox. Pettite pitched 8 solid innings in just 94 pitches, earning the Yankees their first win of the season. He gave up just one run, and then handed the ball to Big Mo, who earned his first save of the season. This was Mariano Rivera’s first appearance in almost a year, and while he did give up a run, he still got the job done. I guess all you “experts” can stop hitting the panic button after TWO GAMES!! This is baseball. Baseball is a marathon and a half. If you are someone who thinks the first month of the baseball season means anything, you are sadly mistaken. Yes, the Yankees obviously have some major injuries that aren’t going to go away over night, but they still have a solid team. People also need to remember that Derek Jeter and Curtis Granderson will be returning in the near future. Are the Yankees going to hit a million home runs like they’ve grown accustom to over the past couple of years? Nope, but that doesn’t mean they can’t win baseball games. This will depend on the biggest wild card of the season that no one is talking about, and that is the manager. Everyone wants to focus on the injuries and the lack of power in the line-up, but who is it that needs to overcome those issues? That’s right, it’s the manager, Joe Girardi. I think we are all going to learn a lot about Joe Girardi this season. Personally, I have always thought Girardi was a sub par manager, and I believe his ineptitude as a big league manager will be on display this year. It is difficult to deal with major injuries from your star players, but in baseball every team deals with significant injuries all the time. It is the job of the manager to adapt to the situation and get the most out the players he does have. I just don’t see Girardi utilize the combination of his farm system and his veteran players properly. I also think Girardi’s in game situational moves are usually questionable, especially his pitching changes. You would think as a former catcher, he would understand pitchers a little bit better (silly me). Anyway, it was nice to see Andy Pettite pitch as well as he did, and that is something the Yankees will need consistently if they want to play baseball in October.

As I’ve been saying since before spring training got under way, the Yankees will survive this season. They will fight through all the injuries and adversity and they will find new ways to win. I believe that the Yankees will finish third in the division and will be fighting for the final American League playoff spot all year. If their pitching rotation holds up they will make the playoffs, however, if Andy Pettite and Hiroki Kuroda pitch like old men then they’re going to be watching the playoffs from the couch like the rest of us. They also have to deal with the giant question marks that are Phil Hughes, Ivan Nova, and David Phelps. Phelps has been solid, Nova has tremendous upside (but we better see it this season), and Hughes, well who the hell knows what he’s going to be. All in all this season is no slam dunk, but everyone needs to hop off the panic button. Let’s take a step back from reacting to everything in 3.5 seconds and see where they are when their roster is healthy. If the Yankees get Jeter and Granderson back (and everyone else stays healthy), and they are 10 games out of a playoff spot, then I give everyone permission to Panic with a capital P. Until that day comes, let’s just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

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