Hello and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!
Peyton Manning is very very very very very good at football.
Hey Flacco, I hope you had your notepad and pencil out while Mr. Manning was taking you to school (nice contract Ravens).
Seriously though, everyone should stop doubting Manning and his arm strength and his age and should just realize that he is one of the best to ever do it (NO, NOT 6, 7, 7 IS THE NUMBER!).
Something About Mary?
Oh Yankees, every time I think you’re going to return to form and storm your way into the playoffs, you go and do something like that.
In case you missed it, Big Mo blew a save (obviously against the Red Sox) and then who else but Joba the hut would go on to lose the game.
I still think the Yankees land the final Wild Card spot in the playoffs this year, watch.
I’ve said it about 10 times now, and I will say it again, Floyd Mayweather Jr. will be handed his first ever loss by Canelo Alvarez on Saturday September 14th.
I am looking forward to 50 Cent and Justin Bieber performing for Mayweather as he walks to the ring though (how stupid is that).
Nobody thinks that Cary Williams wanted to fight Riley Cooper because he is a blatant racist do they??
Because that would be absurd!
Hey, uh, Geno Smith, we passed on you just like everyone else in the 1st round of the draft, and we are actually going to play Mark ‘the worst quarterback in the history of the world’ Sanchez over you, but now that ummm, oh man this is awkward, now that he happens to be hurt THIS IS YOUR OFFENSE AND IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN!!
Yeah, I think he believes you and he’s buying the vote of confidence.
And if he’s not I certainly am.
It has been one of the most spectacular and impressive careers in the history of sports, but Roger Federer is officially on the Decline.
2013 became the first year he hasn’t reached a single Grand Slam Final since 2002 (back before he was the R-FED).
His career is not over, and I think he will make a comeback and have a nice showing in 2014 before he rides off into the sunset, but this is the first of many tributes to one of the finest athletes of all time.
Hey, uh, Andy Murray, I know you’re really busy being the ugliest man in the world, but a player of your stature should never lose in straight sets in the quarterfinals.
You know, instead of suspending Ryan Braun for the rest of the season, they should have just suspended him for 4.5 innings.
Oh, that only works for privileged stuck up little children in College Football, my bad.
Who gives out a suspension of half of a game?!?!?
That’s like taking a convicted felon and saying, you know what we’re going to do, forget the whole prison thing, we are just going to give you about 25 minutes in the pink timeout chair in the corner (obviously the timeout chair is pink).
Thanks for reading everyone, and if you have your own one liner’s that you want to post, please feel free to do so in the comment section below. Enjoy your weekend everyone!!
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!