By clicking below, you will be entering my YouTube Channel; DaveTalksSports. This audio is from my 1st ever Sports Talk Radio Show. This audition was recorded and submitted to the radio station at SUNY Old Westbury on Monday, June 26th, 2017. Assuming my professor approves my audition, I will be on OWWR, Old Westbury Web Radio, via the TuneIn Radio App. The date and time of my show is TBD (to be determined), so check back to find out when I will be on the air. Click below to listen and enjoy!! Feel free to comment or leave constructive criticism in the comment section. Thank you!!
Category: NCAA
One-Liner Fridays
Every Friday I like to infuse a little humor into everyone’s day. Here you will find a one-liner on a topic from this past week. These gems will be one line and one line only (we’re gonna dance to one song and one song only). Enjoy.
Aaron Hernandez is the 2014 version of OJ Simpson….only dumber.
If I had essentially gotten away with double murder, I wouldn’t commit another murder to cover-up the first 2 murders that I already got away with; I would lay low for the REST OF MY LIFE.
Anyone else want Donald Sterling to go away?
Yea, me too, so here’s what we’re going to do: stop talking about him.
Michael Sam is living proof of something I say every day; everything is about money.
Unbelievably hypocritically, Michael Sam has decided to do a reality tv show about his path to the NFL as a gay player because, HE JUST WANTS TO BE SEEN AS A FOOTBALL PLAYER AND NOTHING ELSE.
With Marlin’s pitcher, Jose Fernandez, adding to the long list of pitchers needing tommy john surgery, MLB teams should just offer the surgery as an option on draft day.
Phil Jackson at the plate, and the pitch, he swings, and misses.
You know it’s bad when Phil Jackson can’t even convince his protégé to come work for him.
Now, Phil Jackson will be scouring middle schools across the country for his next coach.
I happen to like Stan Van Gundy as a coach, but you picked Detroit over Golden State?
Really?!?!
Must be the weather in Detroit that lured him in.
So let me get this straight, Johnny Manziel has the most jersey sales in the NFL since April 1st, people are actually excited and talking about the Cleveland Browns (for the 1st time in eternity), and in turn the organization will make more money, and you Jimmy Haslam, the owner of The Cleveland Browns, decide to tell Manziel to ‘act like a backup?!?!’
That makes about as much sense as the NCAA bylaws.
Oh yeah, there are hockey playoffs going on, I almost forgot.
In all seriousness, although I am not a New York Rangers fan, I fully appreciated the comeback that they pulled off to come back from being down 3 games to 1 to the Pittsburgh Penguins.
I’m sure that Martin St. Louis will give it his all throughout the rest of these playoffs for himself, his teammates, and most importantly his mother.
This has been another edition of One-Liner Fridays. If you have a One-Liner of your own, please feel free to leave them in the comment section below. Thanks.
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
One Liner Friday’s
Hello and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!
Peyton Manning is very very very very very good at football.
Hey Flacco, I hope you had your notepad and pencil out while Mr. Manning was taking you to school (nice contract Ravens).
Seriously though, everyone should stop doubting Manning and his arm strength and his age and should just realize that he is one of the best to ever do it (NO, NOT 6, 7, 7 IS THE NUMBER!).
Something About Mary?
Oh Yankees, every time I think you’re going to return to form and storm your way into the playoffs, you go and do something like that.
In case you missed it, Big Mo blew a save (obviously against the Red Sox) and then who else but Joba the hut would go on to lose the game.
I still think the Yankees land the final Wild Card spot in the playoffs this year, watch.
I’ve said it about 10 times now, and I will say it again, Floyd Mayweather Jr. will be handed his first ever loss by Canelo Alvarez on Saturday September 14th.
I am looking forward to 50 Cent and Justin Bieber performing for Mayweather as he walks to the ring though (how stupid is that).
Nobody thinks that Cary Williams wanted to fight Riley Cooper because he is a blatant racist do they??
Because that would be absurd!
Hey, uh, Geno Smith, we passed on you just like everyone else in the 1st round of the draft, and we are actually going to play Mark ‘the worst quarterback in the history of the world’ Sanchez over you, but now that ummm, oh man this is awkward, now that he happens to be hurt THIS IS YOUR OFFENSE AND IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN!!
Yeah, I think he believes you and he’s buying the vote of confidence.
And if he’s not I certainly am.
It has been one of the most spectacular and impressive careers in the history of sports, but Roger Federer is officially on the Decline.
2013 became the first year he hasn’t reached a single Grand Slam Final since 2002 (back before he was the R-FED).
His career is not over, and I think he will make a comeback and have a nice showing in 2014 before he rides off into the sunset, but this is the first of many tributes to one of the finest athletes of all time.
Hey, uh, Andy Murray, I know you’re really busy being the ugliest man in the world, but a player of your stature should never lose in straight sets in the quarterfinals.
You know, instead of suspending Ryan Braun for the rest of the season, they should have just suspended him for 4.5 innings.
No?
Oh, that only works for privileged stuck up little children in College Football, my bad.
Who gives out a suspension of half of a game?!?!?
That’s like taking a convicted felon and saying, you know what we’re going to do, forget the whole prison thing, we are just going to give you about 25 minutes in the pink timeout chair in the corner (obviously the timeout chair is pink).
Thanks for reading everyone, and if you have your own one liner’s that you want to post, please feel free to do so in the comment section below. Enjoy your weekend everyone!!
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
One Liner Friday’s
Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!
Ah yes, I must start with Ryan “Put Him In The Dumpster” Dempster.
I figured it out, The Dumpster thinks he is Batman, and felt taking the law into his own hands was perfectly acceptable (“They’ll have to understand, I’m Batman!”).
You know, it’s a shame Dempster had do this, I actually used to like him thanks to his hysterical Harry Caray impression.
Ryan Braun is O.J. Simpson.
Think about it, if you obviously committed a crime and got away with it, wouldn’t you go hide in a cave somewhere and make sure you never repeated such an egregious error again?
Enough of this Preseason nonsense, let’s bring on the real football already!
Are you ready for some fantasy football??
How bout dem’ Yankees!!
They have now won 5 games in a row, and they’re coming for a playoff spot; watch out everybody.
I know A-Rod has helped the team in their latest surge, but for people not to thank Alfonso Soriano for the teams offensive resurgence is ridiculous.
Tiger keeps playing well before and after Majors, hmmmmmm.
Anybody else tired of hearing about Jhonny Manziel?
Oh okay good, it’s not just me, for a second there I thought everyone was enjoying that drivel.
Roger Federer ranked 7th in the U.S. Open?!?!
It’ll be sad to watch him go, but this is the beginning of the end for the best tennis player in the history of the world.
I bet you didn’t know this, or even know who they are, but the Bryan brothers are the Tiger Woods (if you could clone him) of Men’s Doubles in Tennis.
They are twin brothers, and they currently hold the ‘Tiger Slam’ in tennis and will make it the traditional Grand Slam when they win The U.S. Open and hold all 4 Slam titles in the same calendar year.
By the way Ryan Braun, no one wants your stupid fake apology so just shove it somewhere painful.
Clayton Kershaw is one of the best pitchers baseball has ever seen, his e.r.a. this season is 1.72!
Cliff Paul’s twin brother Chris was named the NBA’s new President of the Player’s Union.
I think it’s a solid move (I mean who wouldn’t want a car insurance agent working for them?).
I know I’m repeating myself with this one, but I want everyone to know who predicted Mayweather’s first loss first.
Canelo Alvarez will take down Floyd Mayweather Jr. on September 14th.
Major League Baseball is getting to the exciting part of the year when the rest of you start watching and football is right around the corner, man this time of the year is great.
Enjoy the rest of your summer everyone!!
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
One Liner Friday’s
Hello and welcome to another edition of One Liner Fridays. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!
Hey Jason Dufner, you just won your 1st Major, The PGA Championship, you can smile now.
Have you ever seen a more emotionless man in the entire world??
Man, the most emotion he showed was in the butt slap he gave his wife right after he won the tournament (awesome).
Sound the alarm, call the National Guard, alert the President, Tom Brady stubbed his toe!!
I’ll have whatever Alfonso Soriano is having.
I still don’t understand why the Jets are being talked about, they are going to be the worst team in the NFL this season.
However, everyone is missing the point (as usual) with Rex Ryan’s “brutal” comment about Geno Smith.
Rex obviously knows he’s on the hot seat (his ass might as well be on fire), and the only way to save his job is to stick with ‘his guy’ in Sanchez and go down with the ship.
It’s partly his pride for sticking with Sanchez, but if Sanchez magically figures it out maybe Rex is employed come next August (he figures there’s no way he can win anything with a rookie).
Hey Tiger, the fairway’s that way
——————->!!
Who’s pumped for football??
Hey RG3, do you mind if we create a controversy between you and your coach out of absolutely nothing?
Heyyyy, Major League Baseball finally threw out their black and white TV, took their corn cob pipe out of their mouths, sold their transistor radio, and has decided to join us in the 21st century.
For those of you who don’t know, MLB will be instituting instant replay in the near future.
The format for manager challenges is not even close to the right way to do this, but it is a step in the right direction.
Are there enough of you out there watching baseball to realize how unbelievable of a season Miguel Cabrera is having?
He won the Triple Crown last year, and he is putting that season to shame (enjoy history).
Clayton Kershaw = Beast!
Greg Jennings needs shut his trap, running his mouth about a former teammate who just happens to be the best quarterback in the league is nota good idea.
Remember when Don Mattingly was almost fired and then the Dodgers went 40-8 over their next 48 games??
Say thank you to Yasiel.
And finally, I know some of you were worried but yes, Johnny Manziel is still an idiot.
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
One Liner Friday’s
Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!
You guys want to hear about A-Rod or Johnny Manziel, or A-Rod, or Johnny Manziel, or A-Rod, or Johnny Manziel?
Tiger Woods seems to be trying things a little differently this time around, he decided to falter on Thursday instead of Sunday.
Adam Adam Scott y’all!!
It’s awesome to see football games being played again, but the preseason is about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop.
Dodgeball anyone?
Great movie.
Reports are saying that Plaxico Burress has shot himself in his other leg…no I’m just kidding, he tore his rotator cuff though (bye-bye career).
So, upon the return of A-Rod and Granderson, The Yankees still suck, so what do they do now?
Some are calling for C.C. Sabathia to get back on the Cheeseburger wagon and to that I say hell yes!
And people are asking what Yankees fans reaction will be when A-Rod steps to the plate in the house that Jeter built?
This is a simple question to answer, he will be booed initially, but the following reaction will be strictly tied to his performance.
Johnny Manziel represents everything I hate about the younger generation in the U.S.
He has been spoiled, and told he is better and more special than everyone else his entire life, oh and he has money.
That’s the trifecta of how to raise a douchebag right there, no wonder he’s the dumbest college football player of all time.
Here at GloboGym, we’re better than you, and we know it!
Man, I’m just full of Dodgeball references today.
Seriously though, you have to be some kind of special moron when you are a player of his caliber and you sign autographs for money and try to cover it up.
The Yankees bats have gone so cold they figured they could turn the stadium into an ice hockey rink.
Coming this winter: Hockey at Yankee Stadium!
The Devils will take on the Rangers on January 26th, and the Islanders will take on the Rangers on January 29th.
That Rangers vs. Islanders game will be pretty cool because it will take place at night under the lights.
Mark Sanchez vs. Geno Smith is like a play-in game in March Madness, the winner gets the right to get spanked by the #1 seed.
This week’s edition is short and sweet, but I hope you enjoyed it.
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
One Liner Friday’s
Hello everybody and welcome back to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!
So do you think Sergio Garcia and Riley Cooper are best buds?
I think so, I think they hang out at each other’s house and try to come up with ways to alienate themselves and potentially ruin any success they may have ever created leading up to that very moment.
I am slightly disappointed that Michael Vick is taking this whole forgiveness route, I don’t know about you but I think Cooper deserves the “Old Michael Vick” treatment.
You know what I mean.
Inbee Park!!
Who?
Oh you know just a professional female golfer who’s playing for her 4th consecutive grand slam title.
I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.
Tiger shoots an opening round 66, making every putt under the sun at the Bridgestone Invitational.
This comes just a week after the Open Championship, where he couldn’t putt the ball into a garbage can if it was right in front of him.
SHUT UP BUCK SHOWALTER!!
For those of who didn’t see what he had to say about A-Rod and The Yankees, have no fear:
“If Bud (Selig) lets them get away with that, they’re under the luxury tax,” Showalter told USA Today. “If they can reset, they can spend again and I guarantee you in two years Matt Wieters is in New York. They’re the ones who signed him to that contract.”
Let them get away with that?
I’m sorry, did The Yankees ask A-Rod or anyone else on their team to do steroids?
Are The Yankees, or any team, complicit in the use of steroids?
Is Buck Showalter the biggest crybaby known to man?
It is amazing how big the target on their back is, and how this is only a “story” because it involves The Yankees.
They don’t boo the bad teams.
Alabama is clearly the best college football team in the country, but why does everyone get so riled up over preseason rankings?
Everyone understands that this is not the same roster from last season right?
Just checking.
How about we play the games and see what happens (or let a computer decide everything and not even bother; either way).
I love how everyone is writing Canelo Alvarez off before his fight with Floyd Mayweather, but as I’ve said before and I’ll say it again right now:
Canelo Alvarez will hand Floyd Mayweather his first professional loss of his career.
Isn’t it hysterical that Greg Oden, who was drafted 6 years ago and still hasn’t played even close to a full season in the NBA due to chronic injuries; get’s to choosethe team that will have the ‘privilege’ to pay him millions of dollars.
No, inmate #174954, you will no longer get airtime on my watch; thank you very much!
So, Kansas City Chief’s offensive coordinator is obviously messin’ with the same stuff Derek Rose is if he thinks Alex Smith is the best QB in the NFL.
I get it, he’s trying to build Smith’s confidence after it was trampled last season, but Smith is not even the best team in his division forget the whole league.
Let me end by saying that what Riley Cooper said is horrible.
It is obviously extremely insensitive, and I feel that that word (along with any slur towards anyone) has no place in society.
I’m here to bring levity and comedy (hopefully) to the world of sports, so please don’t take offense to anything I say or any pictures I may post even in regards to a sensitive situation.
Thanks for reading as always, and I hope you all enjoyed this weeks One Liners.
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
One Liner Friday’s
Hello and welcome back to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!
Hey what do you know, Bill Belichick does have a heart.
I was actually starting to wonder if he was a robot.
Has anyone seen that picture of Tyson Chandler in a pair of shorts?
Forget one line, I have one word for Tyson Chandler : SQUATS!
I know virtually no one has noticed, but we must be in bizarro world because the U.S. Men’s Soccer team has won 9 games in a row!
Dear Derek Rose, I love the confidence, but you must be high as a kite to say that you are the best player in the NBA.
We all know you didn’t play any games last year, but apparently you didn’t watch any games either.
The Hefty Lefty shot a remarkable final round 66 to win the Open Championship, I’m just glad there were no tents in his way this year.
From now on, I think Tiger Woods should wear Pink on Sundays.
Is anyone else tired of hearing about A-Rod?
Here, I will be taking a stand against the meaningless A-Rod drivel that everyone else is pushing.
I will give you one last line: he cheated and lied, but he’s clearly The Yankees best option at 3rd base so play him until he gets suspended.
Isn’t it sad though that The Yankees are going to rely on Alfonso Soriano to be their savior?
Wait a minute, Alfonso Soriano, Derek Jeter, Andy Pettite, and Mariano Rivera, where is Chuck Knoblauch when you need him?
Lebron left his city, now he’s turning his back on his own country, what’s next? (Maybe he’ll move to Canada)
Ryan Braun bet his life and he’s still alive and Aaron Rodgers bet his salary and he’s still living large, let’s bring out the electric chair so we can move on with our day. #welchonabet
Matt Ryan gets paid!!!!!!
Apparently winning 1 career playoff game is the new benchmark for a $100 million dollar contract.
So big hits at the college level are now cause for ejection, I’m glad the NCAA is attempting to completely ruin another aspect of their game, what a shocker.
They might as well put tutu’s on these guys and let them hit each other with pillows.
Football is a violent sport, let’s leave it that way!!
Speaking of football, Jaws must be sharing Derek Rose’s stash if he thinks Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan are both better than Drew Brees.
On a serious note: I feel horrible for Tim Hudson, who over the past 15 years has been one of the most solid and consistent pitchers in all of baseball.
I feel really bad that he got injured the way he did, and I hope he is able to return to form and pitch in the Major League’s again.
The Mets are not just ruining their own players careers, but have now figured out how to ruin their opponents careers too.
Jaromir Jagr was born during World War II, and he is still playing in the NHL; amazing.
With the start of training camp it’s time to get excited about football, but I think it’s cute that Jets fans are actually convinced that they can win 9 games this year.
4 spot, if they’re lucky.
Have a nice weekend everybody!!
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
Sports Highlights in One Liners
Who said the Yankees couldn’t score runs, or were too old, or Vernon Wells was a bum?
I think Tiger Woods looks good in green, don’t you?
Listen, Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, Mario Chalmers, and Ray Allen are all really really hurt, so just leave them alone; okay?
Sorry everyone my Knicks bandwagon is already full so please tuck and roll as I kick you all off one by one.
Man I’m really glad that Women’s College Basketball Championship game was close.
Kobe Bryant is good at basketball.
Bryce Harper is good at baseball.
The Miami Marlins should officially be moved to the Minor Leagues.
Anyone who says they’re not rooting for Tiger Woods (the golfer) is lying.
14 year old golf phenom Tianling Guan gets to play in the Masters, but hitting puberty would be a greater accomplishment.
Can someone text me Mike Rice’s telephone number, I want to have him over for dinner?
“So much for having a case of the Monday’s”
– Rick Pitino
Good for you if you know what movie that last line is from.
Cody Zeller is not ready for the NBA.
Neither is his buddy Victor Oladipo, but when the money’s there you gotta take it right?
NEWSFLASH: The NCAA is corrupt.
Why in the world does the Masters TV coverage start at 3 o’ clock in the afternoon?
I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.
HEY KNICKS, when you get a lead you need to put the pedal to the metal, the game doesn’t end in the 3rd quarter!!
A +1 (73) by Tianling Guan in the opening round of the Masters is more impressive than you could possibly imagine.
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
It’s Good To Be Rick Pitino
There are a select few that are inducted to the Basketball Hall of Fame. It is an unbelievable honor and it certainly should be a major highlight in ones life. Now coaching a college basketball team to the national championship is a special honor as well, and not just anyone can say they accomplished such a feat. How about accomplishing both of these lifetime achievements in the same day? Doesn’t sound too bad now does it? Well, you can just ask Rick Pitino how it feels because he just had the best day of his life. On Monday morning Pitino got the news that he had been inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame, and on Monday evening he won the Men’s College Basketball National Championship. Pitino became only the 2nd coach in history (the other being John Calipari) to lead two different teams to national championships. He led Kentucky to the promised land in 1996. Last night’s game was very well coached by Pitino, and he along with some special performances earned Louisville it’s 3rd championship title. In case you missed the game because the start time was insanely late, let me give you a quick breakdown of what happened.
Michigan jumped out to an early lead and seemed to control the tempo of the game in the first half. Unfortunately, Trey Burke, Michigan’s best player, found himself in foul trouble after picking up two quick fouls. Anyone who watches Michigan basketball knows that head coach John Beilein sits players with two fouls for the entirety of the first half. This could have spelled major trouble for Michigan, but Burke’s backup, freshman Spike Albrecht, came to the rescue scoring 17 first half points off the bench. Thanks to little Spike, the Wolverines had a 12 point lead with just under 4 minutes to play in the first half. 3 minutes later, Louisville was up by 1. How did that happen you ask? Well I’ll tell you. Luke Hancock happened, that’s what happened. Hancock split the net from downtown not once, not twice, but four times in a row in the span of exactly 2 minutes. This shooting display not only brought Louisville back to life, but they found themselves with a 1-point lead with 24 seconds left in the first half. Michigan did carry a 1-point lead into halftime thanks to a layup by Tim Hardaway Jr, however the momentum had clearly shifted back to the Cardinals. In the second half, the game remained tight, however if you watched it you could see that Louisville had taken control of the game. Once Louisville gained the lead with 13:50 left, they would not relinquish it for the rest of the evening. At the same time Michigan never went down more than 8 points at any point in the game. The difference in the game for Louisville was a combination of Peyton Siva and Luke Hancock offensively and a solid team effort defensively. We already know that Luke Hancock went 5 for 5 from 3-point range, but the intensity and energy displayed by Louisville on the defensive end is the real storyline here. This must be a testament to Rick Pitino, because you must encourage players to defend like that. That style of defense is not engrained in your DNA like scoring, it must be taught. And while this is definitely a cliche, Defense Wins Championships!
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
Dave Talks Sports 