Sports Highlights in One Liners

Who said the Yankees couldn’t score runs, or were too old, or Vernon Wells was a bum?

I think Tiger Woods looks good in green, don’t you?

Listen, Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, Mario Chalmers, and Ray Allen are all really really hurt, so just leave them alone; okay?

Sorry everyone my Knicks bandwagon is already full so please tuck and roll as I kick you all off one by one.

Man I’m really glad that Women’s College Basketball Championship game was close.

Kobe Bryant is good at basketball.

Bryce Harper is good at baseball.

The Miami Marlins should officially be moved to the Minor Leagues.

Anyone who says they’re not rooting for Tiger Woods (the golfer) is lying.

14 year old golf phenom Tianling Guan gets to play in the Masters, but hitting puberty would be a greater accomplishment.

Can someone text me Mike Rice’s telephone number, I want to have him over for dinner?

“So much for having a case of the Monday’s”
– Rick Pitino

Good for you if you know what movie that last line is from.

Cody Zeller is not ready for the NBA.

Neither is his buddy Victor Oladipo, but when the money’s there you gotta take it right?

NEWSFLASH: The NCAA is corrupt.

Why in the world does the Masters TV coverage start at 3 o’ clock in the afternoon?

I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

HEY KNICKS, when you get a lead you need to put the pedal to the metal, the game doesn’t end in the 3rd quarter!!

A +1 (73) by Tianling Guan in the opening round of the Masters is more impressive than you could possibly imagine.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

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