Category: NHL

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

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Hello and welcome back to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Hey what do you know, Bill Belichick does have a heart.

I was actually starting to wonder if he was a robot.

Has anyone seen that picture of Tyson Chandler in a pair of shorts?

Forget one line, I have one word for Tyson Chandler : SQUATS!

I know virtually no one has noticed, but we must be in bizarro world because the U.S. Men’s Soccer team has won 9 games in a row!

Dear Derek Rose, I love the confidence, but you must be high as a kite to say that you are the best player in the NBA.

We all know you didn’t play any games last year, but apparently you didn’t watch any games either.

The Hefty Lefty shot a remarkable final round 66 to win the Open Championship, I’m just glad there were no tents in his way this year.

From now on, I think Tiger Woods should wear Pink on Sundays.

Is anyone else tired of hearing about A-Rod?

Here, I will be taking a stand against the meaningless A-Rod drivel that everyone else is pushing.

I will give you one last line: he cheated and lied, but he’s clearly The Yankees best option at 3rd base so play him until he gets suspended.

Isn’t it sad though that The Yankees are going to rely on Alfonso Soriano to be their savior?

Wait a minute, Alfonso Soriano, Derek Jeter, Andy Pettite, and Mariano Rivera, where is Chuck Knoblauch when you need him?

Lebron left his city, now he’s turning his back on his own country, what’s next? (Maybe he’ll move to Canada)

Ryan Braun bet his life and he’s still alive and Aaron Rodgers bet his salary and he’s still living large, let’s bring out the electric chair so we can move on with our day. #welchonabet

Matt Ryan gets paid!!!!!!

Apparently winning 1 career playoff game is the new benchmark for a $100 million dollar contract.

So big hits at the college level are now cause for ejection, I’m glad the NCAA is attempting to completely ruin another aspect of their game, what a shocker.

They might as well put tutu’s on these guys and let them hit each other with pillows.

Football is a violent sport, let’s leave it that way!!

Speaking of football, Jaws must be sharing Derek Rose’s stash if he thinks Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan are both better than Drew Brees.

On a serious note: I feel horrible for Tim Hudson, who over the past 15 years has been one of the most solid and consistent pitchers in all of baseball.

I feel really bad that he got injured the way he did, and I hope he is able to return to form and pitch in the Major League’s again.

The Mets are not just ruining their own players careers, but have now figured out how to ruin their opponents careers too.

Jaromir Jagr was born during World War II, and he is still playing in the NHL; amazing.

With the start of training camp it’s time to get excited about football, but I think it’s cute that Jets fans are actually convinced that they can win 9 games this year.

4 spot, if they’re lucky.

Have a nice weekend everybody!!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 4 Comments

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Hello everyone and welcome to another stellar edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!

I’d say Ron Metta Artest World Peace should say bye bye to LaLa Land, but clearly he has a permanent residence there.

Seriously though, the Knicks should sign him since he’s the gritty type of player they need.

As long as he promises not to eat anyone’s face than it will be a good pickup.

Why does everyone keep telling me how clean cut and ‘proper’ the Patriots franchise is?

The Patriots cornerback (Alfonzo Dennard) who was just arrested for the second time (for a DUI this time), was drafted by the Patriots just a week AFTER he was arrested for assaulting an officer.

What in the wild world of all things that are holy is Ilya Kovalchuk thinking?

This man just retired from the NHL at the age of 30 and left $77 million on the table (yeah I’m sure he won’t regret that move down the road).

Speaking of Russians, The Brooklyn Nets signed wild hair-do man Andrei Kirilenko to a 2 year $6 million contract.

It’s official, the Net’s are no longer “making splashes”, they’re flat out doing cannonballs in the middle of the pool.

By the way, The Nets Russian owner Mikhail Prokhorov is obviously going to buy fellow Russian Andrei Kirilenko an extra special Christmas present this year considering he left about $7 million on the table in free agency.

I’m just saying.

The Cleveland Cavaliers are the next victims of the I think Andrew Bynum can play basketball movement.

Man, it’s going to be embarrassing when Major League Baseball tries to suspend players again, and they come back with a handful of lint, again.

I don’t care what his MRI says, The Yankees brought Derek Jeter back too early, again.

You heard it here first, Miguel Cabrera will win back to back Triple Crown’s this year.

Yasiel Puig not being an All-Star makes about as much sense as an Interstate Highway in Hawaii (they really have those).

Dwight Howard to the Rockets?

So he wants to continue NOT filling the shoes of the game’s all-time great centers?

Want the list?

You got it: Shaquille O’Neal, George Mikan, Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, and now Hakeem Olajuwon.

Yeah, that shouldn’t tarnish your already sterling legacy.

You all realize that Anderson Silva still believes he won that fight on Saturday night right?

How happy does it make you to watch someone so cocky and so full of themselves get knocked the bleep out?

If you haven’t seen it just click here:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OwDqz2P0YTw

Who knew you could be fat and still win Wimbledon?

Apparently, Marion Bartoli was the only person who possessed such knowledge.

Andy Murray wins his first Wimbledon and then proceeds to high five and hug like 85 people before forgetting to acknowledge his own mother.

Way to man up with those bulls Rex Ryan.

I’ve never seen Rex move that fast before, he looked like a cheetah chasing down his prey the way he skyrocketed up that fence.

Nice face Nick Swisher.

How about you do your job that you get paid millions for and trot down to first base there chief.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 3 Comments

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Hello and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you’ll find the wide world of sports from the past week wrapped up in One Line and One Line only. Enjoy!!

Yeah so I decided to sit down and eat 70 hot dogs in a little under 12 minutes yesterday.

Is that a lot?

How cool would it be to be a competitive eater?

No?

Just me on that one huh?

Dwight Howard is about as irrational and indecisive as a pregnant woman.

Listen up Dwight (you moron), go to Houston or Golden State because they are the closest to winning a championship and that’s all that should matter.

Yasiel Puig for President!

Seriously though, Jonathan Pabelbon should shut his mouth and Puig SHOULD be an all-star this year.

Also, Met’s pitching sensation Matt Harvey should start the All-Star Game at Citi Field this year.

If Harvey didn’t play for the worst team known to man he might be in the CY Young race right now.

Need a good laugh?

The New York Islanders will pay Rick DiPietro, that’s right RICK RIPIETRO, $1.6 Million per year for the next 15 years (hahahahahahaha).

The NBA made history when The Boston Celtics hired a middle schooler as their head coach.

Oh wait sorry that’s Brad Stevens.

With the acquisitions of Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett by the Brooklyn Nets, the Yankees won’t be the only team in New York with an old timers day.

Speaking of the Yankees, you know they’re in dire straits when they are broadcasting a washed up, over the hill, controversial, injury prone A-Rod’s rehab at bats in the Minor Leagues.

Although he is their best option by far at 3rd base (oh 1998 how I miss thee).

Why is it that most of these are about my New York teams?

This is not a sign of good things to come (I hope China doesn’t read this one).

Andy Murray vs. who?

His name is Jerzy Janowicz and doesn’t always drink beer, but when he does he drinks Dos Equis.

No, he is the 24th ranked player in the world, and as long as Murray can bounce back from his 5 setter on Wednesday he’ll mop the floor with him.

Enjoy the rest of your 4th of July weekend everyone! Be safe!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 3 Comments

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Hello, and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. This is my 2nd post of the day so make sure you scroll down to read my review of Thursday night’s NBA Draft.

So if the Yankees can score some runs that would be cool.

You know those silly movies like Home Alone where they put down 5 marbles and the bad guys all slip and fall?

Yeah, that’s Wimbledon.

Aaron Hernandez took a lottery ticket and used it as Charmin Ultra Soft.

As I predicted last Friday, Hernandez was charged with murder, and I hope he spends the rest of his life in prison regretting his miserable existence.

In all seriousness though I feel really bad for his baby girl.

Not so seriously though, how can the best basketball player that ever lived be such a bad judge of talent?

Michael Jordan is a worse NBA Executive than he was a baseball player.

Doc Rivers is goin goin back back to Cali.

In other NBA news, the Brooklyn Nets actually believe it is 2005 with the finalization of a trade for Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett.

Most of these guys are way past their prime.

Some of them never had a prime.

This guys dead!

Major League, great movie.

I guess Tim Tebow really is going to be the Patriots tight end.

Doesn’t that make you sick to your stomach?

Hey Yasiel Puig, there’s a wall there someone should, uh move it.

Matt Harvey is really good at baseball.

The Mets should pray that Zach Wheeler is even half as good, maybe then they’ll come close to .500.

Not likely though, I mean they are the Mets.

Brian Cashman dropping F bombs!!

Personally I love it, A-Rod needs to shut his trap.

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Who Said There’s Nothing To Talk About?

~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

The NBA Finals have come and gone, and baseball hasn’t hit its full stride yet. Within the dog days of summer lie a time with very little to talk about in the world of sports. However, Monday brought about an eventful day of sports news and action. Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals crowned a champion, while a former Wimbledon champion fell unexpectedly. A window of opportunity has opened for the much deserving Brian Shaw. And lastly, as I’m sure you’ve all heard by now, Aaron Hernandez has himself in some hot water.

With Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals being played in Boston, it was almost a certainty that the Bruins would force a decisive Game 7 in Chicago. This series had been so closely contested (with half of its games going to overtime), that a Game 7 seemed inevitable. With just under a minute and a half to play that looked like the case, but the Chicago Blackhawks had other ideas. The Bruins were winning 2-1 after Milan Lucic scored the go ahead goal midway through the 3rd period. They looked like they were going to cruise to a series tying victory until Brian Bickell put in the game tying goal with 1:16 left in the game. Boston had to be deflated but at least they had a chance to win the game in overtime, right? Oh No, no no, they were not granted that opportunity. Just 17 seconds after the game tying goal came, the game winning goal by Dave Bolland followed. And just like that, victory was snatched right out of Boston’s hands. Players are used to losing, but to be so close to victory and lose in heartbreaking fashion is never easy to get past. I’m sure the Bruins players will need some time to fully recover from a loss of this magnitude. Doesn’t it seem eerily similar to the Game 6 loss by the San Antonio Spurs in the NBA Finals? When there is a loser there must also be a winner. Congratulations to the Chicago Blackhawks on winning the 2013 Stanley Cup.

An absolute stunner is the only way to describe Rafael Nadal’s first round loss at Wimbledon. This is the first time he has EVER lost in the first round of a Grand Slam. His loss came in straight sets at the hands of the 135th ranked player in the world, Steve Darcis. Who? Exactly, I’ve never heard of him either. If you watched the match, the camera continued to follow Nadal’s taped up knee, and the commentators kept harping on the fact that he couldn’t track down balls he once called routine gets. Yes, I’ll admit that Nadal did not look his usual gritty self, but injury or not a player of his caliber should NEVER lose to Steve Darcis. Nadal simply did not have any fight in him on Monday, and he simply mailed in his performance once he was down 2 sets to none. While I’ve never personally been a Nadal fan, it still would have been nice to watch the great Roger Federer spank him in the quarter finals. I guess we’ll have to settle with Federer mopping the floor with John Isner in the quarters. Will there be anymore shocking upsets in Wimbledon? Only time will tell, but I see Roger Federer and Andy Murray playing a hard fought semi finals to see who has the right to lose to Novak Djokavic in the finals. Enjoy the tennis.

To the hardwood we go. The second the NBA season ends, head coaches get the ax (deservedly or not). As the off season progresses, those coaching vacancies slowly get filled. Monday, the Denver Nuggets filled their coaching vacancy with a name that has been floating around the rumor mill for quite some time. Brian Shaw, the former assistant of the Indiana Pacers, is now the new head coach of the Denver Nuggets. Shaw’s name has been on many executives lists for coaching possibilities over the past couple of years, but Denver has finally pulled the trigger. Denver just cur their tenure with George Karl short in the same season he won Coach of the Year, so I wouldn’t get too comfortable if I were Shaw. Good luck Brian, you deserve it.

And last but certainly least, we move on to Einstein himself. Nope, sorry, I meant Aaron “the rocket scientist” Hernandez. Aaron Hernandez has been a very good tight end for the New England Patriots, and had a very bright future ahead of himself (emphasis on the word HAD). Rather than use his potential to enjoy his future, he decided to entangle himself in a murder mystery. No, not the make believe Law And Order type of mystery, but the hey I actually murdered someone and tried to cover it up type of mystery. As of right now Hernandez has not been convicted of a crime or has even been arrested, but there has been the possibility of an arrest warrant hanging over his head for about 5 days now. See, Hernandez intelligently destroyed his home surveillance system, smashed his cell phone to unrecognizable pieces, and had a professional cleaning crew come leave his house spotless. Yeah, this should end well. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but I will. Hernandez obviously either murdered this guy, ordered the murder to take place, or has proof of the murder and is trying to cover it up. Either way his life is in shambles, and I highly doubt it’s going to get any better anytime soon. Man, don’t you wish you, an intelligent responsible person, had the talents these numbskulls have? You surely wouldn’t waste it and throw your life back into the sewer that they most likely came from to begin with. It’s such a shame. You can follow ESPN for daily updates on the Hernandez situation.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

Welcome back to another Friday edition of One Liners. Here you will find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!

Congratulations Lebron on winning your 2nd championship, now you’re not a complete and total failure.

Everyone can keep saying that Gregg Popovich is the best coach of all-time, but when you make horrible blunder after horrible blunder late in championship games maybe you’re not who we thought you were.

Thanks for explaining yourself though, we all really appreciate it.

It’s time Manu, it’s time.

Everyone understands that Aaron Hernandez is going to be brought up on murder charges soon right?

I mean this guy has to be one of the dumbest people on the planet.

Aaron, please don’t shoot me in the face because you’re the butt of one of my jokes.

+13 Tiger, really?

At least you didn’t make any excuses for your poor play.

Can the Yankees demote Phil Hughes all the way back to high school?

The sky is falling the sky is falling, oh no wait that’s just babies falling from the sky.

In all seriousness though, nice catch Joe Torre’s daughter.

If you haven’t been watching the Stanley Cup Finals you should start.

Yasiel Puig!

Now I know Spain is the best soccer team in the world, but 10-0?

The craziest part of that game is that Spain let Tahiti play with 17 men on the field.

This week’s installment has been short but sweet, but I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Big Weekend In Sports

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 2 Comments

This was a big weekend in sports that just passed us by. I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend and their Father’s Day. If you spent some time on your couch with your television like I did, than you definitely enjoyed yourself. There were 3 major sporting events going on, and I’m going to give you a quick rundown of what took place in each one. First you had Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals on Saturday night. Then you had the finish of golf’s U.S Open Sunday Evening. And last but certainly not least you had Game 5 of the NBA Finals Sunday night. None were more exciting than the hockey game between the Chicago Blackhawks and Boston Bruins.

If you saw Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals than you already know how epically great that game was, and how competitive this series is going to be. Quickly for those who don’t know, the Blackhawks took Game 1 in triple overtime! It was a game for the ages and it set the table for game 2. How could Game 2 live up to the expectations that Game 1 laid on top of its napkin you ask? Well, they mustered up another exhilarating overtime thriller, that’s how. The Boston Bruins evened up the series at 1 game a piece by winning 2-1 over Chicago. Boston allowed a lonely goal in the 1st period and then tightened up the defense for the rest of the contest. You can catch what should be another exciting game on Monday night on NBC. The puck drops at 8:00 p.m. in Boston. Enjoy!!

Now, ever since Thursday morning’s rain delayed U.S. Open got started, everyone was wondering and waiting for Tiger to make his push towards his 15th major. The only problem was that the push never came. Tiger didn’t start out too badly but played progressively worse as the week went on. Tiger finished with a career worst 72-hole score of +13. I guess we’ll all have to wait for the British Open to see if Tiger can end his 5 year drought without a major victory. His last major came at the U.S. Open in 2008 after beating Rocco Mediate in a ’19’ hole playoff. While Woods struggled with Mr. 3 Wiggle all weekend, Justin Rose minimized his mistakes and gutted out his 1st major victory. He won by 2 strokes (+1) over 2nd place finishers Jason Day and Phil Mickelson (both were +3). This is Phil’s 6th 2nd place finish at U.S. Open. Man that’s gotta suck! Anyway, job well done Justin Rose, and better luck next time Phil.

Sunday night’s NBA Finals Game 5 was one that was certain to bring big drama. The San Antonio Spurs and Miami Heat have exchanged wins all series, but everyone was expecting the Heat to carry their momentum from game 4 into game 5 and finally put this series out of reach. Boy were they wrong. Despite another solid performance from Dwyane Wade, the Spurs were simply too good for Miami. They basically carried the lead from wire to wire and won the game by a score of 114-104. San Antonio’s ‘Big 3’ hopped in their time machine and pulled a performance somewhere out of 2003. They scored a combined 67 points while arguably the Finals MVP at the moment, Danny Green, added 24 points of his own. Green hit another 6 3-pointers and surpassed Ray Allen as the all-time leader for 3-pointers in an NBA Finals. Manu Ginobili was inserted into the starting lineup and hit the Spurs first shot. He was off and running from there and never looked back. While the Spurs seemingly couldn’t miss, Lebron James went ice cold in the 2nd half. For the game he went a putrid 8-22 from the field, and will need to play a whole lot better if they plan on raising any more banners in Miami this year. You got what you asked for Lebron. Now all you have to do is execute. Good luck buddy, you’re going to need it.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 2 Comments

Welcome back to another Friday edition of One Liners. Here you will find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!

I hope the Nets won’t mind that Jason Kidd has to take a leave of absence from coaching to serve jail time for his pending DWI case.

Just because Tim Tebow plays for the New England Patriots doesn’t mean he’s all of a sudden going to be good at football.

Tom Brady doesn’t have any magic dust to sprinkle on Tebow’s arm that’s going to make him accurate.

What I’m trying to say is my mother throws a football better than Tim Tebow.

You might be laughing but that’s no joke; mom dukes has a cannon.

So Serena Williams is decent at tennis huh?

Rafael Nadal should only play tournaments on clay, and any other tournament he is asked to play in he should kindly reply, no gracias.

When one of your finals games goes to triple overtime and it’s not even the lead story on ESPN, you know your sports in trouble (sorry hockey).

Hey Roger Goodell you know what you should do, you should make a public statement that offends an entire race of people, yeah yeah do that, that’s smart.

Breaking News: Mark McGwire eats entire Diamondbacks pitching staff in one bite during benches clearing brawl.

So much for players policing themselves huh?

Yasiel Puig!!

Yes, Jaromir freaking Jagr is still in the NHL, and no he’s not just riding the bench to say he made a comeback, he played 33 minutes Wednesday night.

And yes, Jagr was that player known as that other guy who played on the Penguins with Lemieux back when you were a kid.

Does Thiago Splitter know how tall he is??

In the words of Bill Walton, “Throw it down big man, throw it down!”

Hey Dwyane Wade: are you hurt or are you not hurt, are you finished or are you not finished?

By the way, that kid Sebastian De La Cruz who sings the National Anthem at Spurs games is awesome.

(Read this one in that Spongebob narrator voice) 18 innings later……

The Yankees and Athletics love baseball so much they decided to play 2 games in 1.

Can I get a little golf here?

For those of you who don’t know (and I’m pretty sure that’s most of you), golf’s U.S. Open started on Thursday, sort of.

If it ever stops raining we might get to watch some golf.

I want to take a second to wish a very Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there.

Sleep in, watch TV on the couch, go play golf, eat and drink whatever you want.

Whatever you do just make sure you enjoy your day.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

If winning Coach of the Year doesn’t guarantee your employment, what the hell does??

Sorry George Karl, but if you never raise people’s expectations too high they’ll never be too disappointed.

A-Rod, A-Rod, A-Rod how I loathe thee.

A-Rod has to be the dumbest guy in the world to think he was going to get away with cheating.

Didn’t you learn anything the first time?

What does Phil Hughes think he’s good now or something?

How bout dem Spurs!!

I didn’t know Tony Parker was an acrobat, man those French are sneaky.

Serena Williams is so good at tennis it’s offensive.

She beat her semifinal opponent in 6 minutes (it was actually 46 minutes but who’s counting?).

Hey Chris Bosh, you know there’s a basketball game going on that you’re supposed to be a part of right???

Tiger Woods say: See what had happened was, I was going to win, but I decided to be +8 and finish 20 shots back instead.

Watch him turn around and win the U.S. Open next week.

The Miami Marlins are 16-44, they should be removed the the Major’s; permanently.

Whoever put together the brackets for the French Open should be fired.

Novak Djokivic and Rafael Nadal is a great matchup today in the semifinals, but that should clearly be the finals matchup.

And yes, the NHL Playoffs are still going on.

I actually had to look that last one up to verify first.

Wait, people will put their bodies at risk and cheat in order to gain a competitive advantage and in turn make millions of dollars?

NO WAY!

Mmmmmm Donut.

For those of you were not aware, it is National Donut Day.

Yeah that’s right, enjoy!

Aww what happened wittle Webron, were your wittle wegs tired last night?

You better win game 2 Lebron, because if you don’t you will lose this series.

This has been another installment of One Liner Friday’s. I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

This is my 2nd post of the day, so make sure you scroll down to read about Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals. Enjoy!

I just came up with the best headline ever: Arvind Mahankali channels Inner Jew to win 2013 Spelling Bee.

Lebron James is really good at basketball.

The New York Mets have won the World Series!

No, no they didn’t.

They did win 4 games in a row for the first time since World War II though, so that’s certainly something to celebrate.

Really Rutgers, REALLY?

You are more inept than George W Bush trying to spell his own name.

Seriously, how do you hire Julie Hermann?

She cursed your president out and beat up a small child during her interview, but apparently that wasn’t enough to stop you from hiring her.

Astonishing!

Who is watching the 14 straight hours of Women’s College Softball coverage on EVERY ESPN CHANNEL?!?!

Seriously?

So apparently Broadway Joe put the bottle down long enough to talk about the Jets.

Too bad the Jets don’t want to hear him speak.

I said it last week, but let me repeat myself: Floyd Mayweather Jr. will suffer his first professional loss of his career in September against Canelo Alvarez.

Too big, too strong, too young.

Yes, the NHL Playoffs are still going on.

I know, I almost forgot too.

Where oh where has Rory Mcilroy gone?

Chris Anderson (aka Birdman, aka turtleneck tattoo, aka you look like a moron) should have been ejected from Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals.

It’s a good thing referees have integrity and don’t favor the home team though.

Gordon Gee, oh Gordon Gee, what is wrong with you?

Since when is it okay to run your mouth and say whatever you want no matter how offensive to large groups of people?

Ohhhh, it’s all about the all mighty dollar, how silly of me to think otherwise.

This has been another installment of One Liner Friday’s. If you have any One Liners of your own please leave them below. Thanks.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!