Madison Bumgarner isn’t who you think he is.
He’s ACTUALLY a rodeo roping CHAMPION!!
And, his name is REALLY Mason Saunders.
This HAS to rank as one of the dumbest things that has ever happened in the history of the world.
I hope the Diamondbacks void his contract before it even starts!!
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ESPN SUCKS!!
Because nothing adds the cherry-on-top of an ice cream sundae quite like a pile of horse manure.
Ice cream sundae: Awesome weekend in sports.
Pile of horse manure: Sunday Night Baseball.
Nice Sweater A-Rod
Please don’t watch this entire video. It’s terrible. It’s simply the only evidence I could find of A-Rod’s unbelievably ugly sweater….
Sunday Night Baseball has transformed into something unrecognizable. In the 28 years since its inception, Sunday Night Baseball has evolved into a walking, talking piece of ad-space that’s nearly unwatchable:
I only tuned into the game because the Yankees were on the tube, and honestly, I wish I hadn’t. Yes the Mets were playing too, but the Yankee hat is what moves the needle. When a MLB game is a pitcher’s duel (2-0), with a grand total of eight hits, there’s no reason it should take TWO HOURS AND FORTY MINUTES!!!!
And apparently, ESPN thinks the way to engage the younger crowd is to spend more time showing the world A-Rod’s fake smile than actually broadcasting the game. Entire at-bats go by with ZERO mention of their outcome. Details of scoring plays are pushed aside. All so “fans” can watch A-Rod hold a glove. Because that’s cool….
Over the past few decades, ESPN has gone from “King of the Sports World”, to politically driven, Disney Princess, fantasy land.
It is simply unrecognizable.
And ESPN continues to move in the wrong direction. Don’t believe me?! Just look at the numbers of massive lay-offs that have taken place over the past few years. And in large part it’s because they proudly shove broadcasts like Sunday Night Baseball in our face.
You can keep your A-Rod, Jessica Mendoza, and Matt Vasgersian commentator booth, ESPN, for the world doesn’t want it.
Are you as disgusted with ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball broadcast as I am?? Only post a comment below if you agree with me….
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DaveTalksSports: What do you want for your birthday this year Alex Rodriguez?
Alex: I don’t know Dave. I feel like I have everything I’ve ever wanted.
DaveTalksSports: How about another home run? You don’t have enough of those yet.
Alex: Oh yeah, that sounds like a great id……
DaveTalksSports: Oh wait, have you been a good boy?
Alex: No, not really.
DaveTalksSports: Oh who am I kidding?! It doesn’t matter! You’re playing so well you are completely overshadowing all the mean, nasty, hurtful, despicable, dishonest, and deceitful things you’ve done, and you’ll probably get exactly what you want anyway.
Alex: Yay!!
Alex Rodriguez turned 40 years old yesterday. In honor of himself, he hit his 678th career home run in a 6-2 victory over his former team; The Texas Rangers. A-Rod is now hitting .276 on the season with 24 home runs and 59 runs batted in. He has WILDLY exceeded everyone’s expectations this year (possibly even his own), and after serving a 162-game suspension last season, A-Rod has returned completely rejuvenated. Being the New York Yankees’ primary DH has helped A-Rod solely focus on hitting, as he has only played 6 games in the field (4 at 3B and 2 at 1B). It has also allowed him to stay healthy while playing in 91 of the Yankees’ 98 games this season.
As with anything attached to Alex Rodriguez’s name there is always suspicion. Is his success this season tainted or has he found the fountain of youth in a back alley somewhere in The Bronx? No matter what your opinion of A-Rod, we must admit his season has been spectacular, and he is one of the biggest reasons the Yankees stand atop the American League East.
After A-Rod’s hot week of home run hitting (hitting 5 home runs in as many days), the ‘Live In The Moment’ question of the day is: Will A-Rod pass Barry Bonds and how many home runs will he end his career with (so what if that’s 2 questions)? All I can do is laugh. As much as A-Rod enjoys shoving his success in the face of his doubters, father time waits for no man. I’ll simplify it: Today, A-Rod has 678 hr’s and would need 85 more to pass Bonds. Even at an ultra-gernerous pace of 20 hr’s per year, A-Rod would need to RE-SIGN ANOTHER CONTRACT after his age 41 season of 2017 (when he’ll turn 42), and then continue this torrid pace. I’m sorry to disappoint all you dreamers out there, but enjoy A-Rod while he’s still dropping ‘A-Bombs’ because before you know it he’ll only be dropping Informant Tips on his PED Supplier.
What do you think? Is A-Rod’s success this season natural? Or is he back on the juice?
Let me know in the comment section below.
Since you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!
Ah yes, I must start with Ryan “Put Him In The Dumpster” Dempster.
I figured it out, The Dumpster thinks he is Batman, and felt taking the law into his own hands was perfectly acceptable (“They’ll have to understand, I’m Batman!”).
You know, it’s a shame Dempster had do this, I actually used to like him thanks to his hysterical Harry Caray impression.
Ryan Braun is O.J. Simpson.
Think about it, if you obviously committed a crime and got away with it, wouldn’t you go hide in a cave somewhere and make sure you never repeated such an egregious error again?
Enough of this Preseason nonsense, let’s bring on the real football already!
Are you ready for some fantasy football??
How bout dem’ Yankees!!
They have now won 5 games in a row, and they’re coming for a playoff spot; watch out everybody.
I know A-Rod has helped the team in their latest surge, but for people not to thank Alfonso Soriano for the teams offensive resurgence is ridiculous.
Tiger keeps playing well before and after Majors, hmmmmmm.
Anybody else tired of hearing about Jhonny Manziel?
Oh okay good, it’s not just me, for a second there I thought everyone was enjoying that drivel.
Roger Federer ranked 7th in the U.S. Open?!?!
It’ll be sad to watch him go, but this is the beginning of the end for the best tennis player in the history of the world.
I bet you didn’t know this, or even know who they are, but the Bryan brothers are the Tiger Woods (if you could clone him) of Men’s Doubles in Tennis.
They are twin brothers, and they currently hold the ‘Tiger Slam’ in tennis and will make it the traditional Grand Slam when they win The U.S. Open and hold all 4 Slam titles in the same calendar year.
By the way Ryan Braun, no one wants your stupid fake apology so just shove it somewhere painful.
Clayton Kershaw is one of the best pitchers baseball has ever seen, his e.r.a. this season is 1.72!
Cliff Paul’s twin brother Chris was named the NBA’s new President of the Player’s Union.
I think it’s a solid move (I mean who wouldn’t want a car insurance agent working for them?).
I know I’m repeating myself with this one, but I want everyone to know who predicted Mayweather’s first loss first.
Canelo Alvarez will take down Floyd Mayweather Jr. on September 14th.
Major League Baseball is getting to the exciting part of the year when the rest of you start watching and football is right around the corner, man this time of the year is great.
Enjoy the rest of your summer everyone!!
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
Alright sports fans, here we go again! It’s Mid-August, and while pennant races are heating up, the only thing on our minds is what will happen on the next episode of A-Rod TV. The stage for this last installment was none other than Fenway Park. It is the perfect place for this unbelievable story to rise to the next level. The Yankees, have been counted out of the playoff race by most, but like him or not Alex Rodriguez has brought the Yankees back to life in more ways than one. He and the Yankees have found their way back onto the front page of the sports section, and despite popular belief they have found themselves sniffing at the backdoor of the playoffs. We will discuss how The Yankees can make the playoffs later on, but for now let’s get back to the more important issues.
Sunday night, The Red Sox and Yankees faced off in a tiebreaker of a 3-game series, but the actual game quickly became an afterthought. Alex Rodriguez stepped up to the plate to lead off the 2nd inning as The Yankees were already in a 2-0 hole. Ryan Dempster, with the first pitch, decided to send a message by airmailing a pitch just behind his knees. A-Rod shuffled forward, said thank you very much, and made his way back to the batter’s box. With no warnings issued the at bat continued on it’s natural progression. Dempster then came inside with another fastball for ball two. Dempster then came inside AGAIN with yet another fastball for ball three. As if all this fun wasn’t enough for one day, with a 3-0 count, Dempster decided to plunk A-Rod right in the back. A-Rod turned and glared at Dempster and along with The Yankee’s trainer, walked down to first base. Now before I continue, I want to point out something the one and only Michael Kaye brought up on his radio show last week. Following the decision by MLB to expand the use of instant replay, Michael Kaye was worried about losing a part of the game that he personally enjoyed; The Manager-Umpire argument. He stated how much he enjoyed the old school manager mentality of getting right up in an umpire’s face and giving them a piece of their mind. He thought with the use of instant replay to remove human error (while Kaye supports replay for the sake of the quality of the game) the game would miss the kicking of dirt by a manager after a blown call. He went on to cite Joe Girardi as an example. He said that he would miss Joe Girardi storming out on to the field with his target locked on to an umpire and his vein pulsating from the side of his head. Well, Michael, last night you got your wish. Immediately following the pitch heard ’round the world, both benches were warned by the home plate umpire, and Girardi immediately stormed out to politely inquire about what was going through Brian O-Nora’s mind. No, seriously, Girardi went ballistic on O’Nora (rightfully so). Girardi, while absolutely right in his argument, was ejected from the game for arguing with the umpire. Both benches and bullpens had briefly cleared, but returned to their respective burrows without an altercation.
Now anyone with two eyes that function properly could see and understand that Ryan Dempster hit Alex Rodriguez on purpose. Dempster absolutely should have been ejected from the game instantaneously. I mean, he did throw at him three times before finally hitting him. I personally find it hilarious, and the moral of the story for me is simply how bad Dempster’s aim is. Maybe that’s why his e.r.a. is almost 5.00 (4.77 if you were wondering). However, following the game, the political responses that make baseball the blatantly obvious façade that it is ensued. Let’s start with Red Sox head coach John Farrell. He was asked in his post-game press conference if Dempster hit A-Rod on purpose. He candidly responded, I don’t know that he hit him in purpose (or something to that affect). Dempster stated that he was just trying to establish his inside fastball. Excuse me while we take a quick intermission, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (that’s me laughing off-air while I accidentally leave my microphone on and the audience get’s to hear my honest opinion). Oh yeah, way to establish your inside fastball behind him and in A-Rod’s ribcage. Listen, I dislike A-Rod the baseball player as much as the next guy, but this is not how you do it on the baseball field. You don’t take it upon yourself to plunk a guy to send a message in the 2nd inning of an important game. If Dempster had been rightfully ejected, the Red Sox bullpen would have been put in a precarious situation. And more importantly, when you miss him with the first pitch, let that be your message and move on with he game. Now, last but not least, let’s get to the ultimate politician, A-Rod. On the field just after the end of the game, Buster Olney caught up with A-Rod for a quick interview. I want to analyze his responses one by one to illustrate just how intelligent this evil genius is. First, Buster asked him how what he thought about winning this big game. A-Rod responded by saying it was huge and that The Red Sox have such a great team over there and they’ve had a great season all year long. Translation: The Red Sox have a good record, but essentially today was the beginning of the end of the 2013 Red Sox. He then proceeded to say that they are gathering their goups and now that they are scoring runs on a regular basis, everyone else should watch out. He was then asked about having a pitch thrown behind him and then being hit by a pitch in the same at bat. To that he slyly replied, well that was a bit odd and that was a weird situation. Next he added that the game has a way of policing itself. Translation: We are going to hit one of their best players on the first try the next time we get a chance. Buster also asked him what he said to Dempster as it appeared that A-Rod mouthed something in his direction following the incident. You know how you know you’re a good liar? When there is proof of something on video tape, and you still stand there and deny it. That’s how you know you’re good. I believe Shaggy said it best, “It wasn’t me.” He then went on to tell the truth for the first and only time in the entire interview. He spoke about the home run and how he got a fastball right down the middle and sent it back to where it came from. He also said that no matter what is going on around him, the main focus is and always has been winning baseball games and getting to the postseason. He also pointed out that he has great teammates and a great manager that have always supported him. Believe it or not, that part is also true. Joe Girardi’s actions and Bret Gardner’s words are proof of that. Gardner said that he doesn’t know how he would feel (about A-Rod, who else?) if he was on another team, but he is on this team and he supports everyone of his teammates to the best of his ability. And here is where A-Rod lost me completely. He said he has faith in God to get him through all the trials and tribulations that surround him everyday. Now don’t get me wrong, I believe that everyone has the right to believe in whatever faith, religion, culture, and lifestyle they want, but did A-Rod really need to take it there? He used God as a springboard to say that despite all the boos he has a lot of people in his corner supporting and praying for him throughout this whole situation. Yup, you’re right, you’re the victim. Why didn’t we all realize that a little sooner? What he’s really saying is, I don’t give a crap what anyone thinks of me, I’m very rich and I’m happy! Lastly in response to the boos, he basically said I take boos on the road as a compliment. Which brings me to a saying that I believe in, “they don’t boo nobodies.” To summarize this entire interview I will say one thing: if A-Rod ran for Mayor, Governor, or anything in political office I would vote for him.
After all the nonsense in the game quieted down, A-Rod exacted his revenge on the field. As I referenced in the interview, A-Rod took a fastball and crushed it to dead center. If you were watching the game live, you knew that the second he hit the ball and you heard the beautiful crack of the bat; the ball was long gone. He got fired up as he rounded the bases, mouthing some obscenities, and that plus the Girardi ejection seemed to fire up The Yankees squad. They went on to win the game 9-6 and take the 3-game series two games to one. With A-Rods’s solid play of late, Granderson’s return, and Alfonso Soriano’s lights out performance thus far, The Yankees have a realistic shot of sneaking into the final wild card spot in the American League. While they appear that they can win enough games to make the playoffs, they would still need help from the teams currently ahead of them. Let me list these teams, and you tell me if you think they can outplay their American League foes. The Yankees are chasing at the coattails of the Baltimore Orioles, The Cleveland Indians, and The Oakland Athletics. How do you say not worried, not worried, and definitely not worried? All The Yankees need to do is take A-Rod’s advice (hahahaha), and keep their main focus on winning baseball games and making it to the postseason. If The Yankees can and will make the playoffs this season is yet to be seen, but you can be certain that there will be more drama to unfold each day on A-Rod TV. I mean, Brain Cashman, The General Manager of The Yankees, actually said he doesn’t feel comfortable speaking to A-Rod because of lawsuits that could ensue. Now if that isn’t awesome drama I don’t know what is!! Enjoy!!
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!
You guys want to hear about A-Rod or Johnny Manziel, or A-Rod, or Johnny Manziel, or A-Rod, or Johnny Manziel?
Tiger Woods seems to be trying things a little differently this time around, he decided to falter on Thursday instead of Sunday.
Adam Adam Scott y’all!!
It’s awesome to see football games being played again, but the preseason is about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop.
Dodgeball anyone?
Great movie.
Reports are saying that Plaxico Burress has shot himself in his other leg…no I’m just kidding, he tore his rotator cuff though (bye-bye career).
So, upon the return of A-Rod and Granderson, The Yankees still suck, so what do they do now?
Some are calling for C.C. Sabathia to get back on the Cheeseburger wagon and to that I say hell yes!
And people are asking what Yankees fans reaction will be when A-Rod steps to the plate in the house that Jeter built?
This is a simple question to answer, he will be booed initially, but the following reaction will be strictly tied to his performance.
Johnny Manziel represents everything I hate about the younger generation in the U.S.
He has been spoiled, and told he is better and more special than everyone else his entire life, oh and he has money.
That’s the trifecta of how to raise a douchebag right there, no wonder he’s the dumbest college football player of all time.
Here at GloboGym, we’re better than you, and we know it!
Man, I’m just full of Dodgeball references today.
Seriously though, you have to be some kind of special moron when you are a player of his caliber and you sign autographs for money and try to cover it up.
The Yankees bats have gone so cold they figured they could turn the stadium into an ice hockey rink.
Coming this winter: Hockey at Yankee Stadium!
The Devils will take on the Rangers on January 26th, and the Islanders will take on the Rangers on January 29th.
That Rangers vs. Islanders game will be pretty cool because it will take place at night under the lights.
Mark Sanchez vs. Geno Smith is like a play-in game in March Madness, the winner gets the right to get spanked by the #1 seed.
This week’s edition is short and sweet, but I hope you enjoyed it.
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez can be called a lot of things, but dumb is certainly not one of them. He is so smart we might as well appoint A-Rod with a Rhodes Scholarship and let him try his hand at something else. See, the major point that everyone (and I mean everyone) is missing is just how well A-Rod has played and continues to play this whole situation. Most feel that he should be ashamed of himself. Some feel that he should have sat at the podium at his press conference Monday evening and opened up his personal diary. However, ALL, fail to see what’s really going on here. Now, this situation, and the topic of PED’s in baseball is a very complicated story that has more layers than a seven layer cake, but I will do my best to take it one step at a time and translate this soap opera into plain English. Alex Rodriguez has been in the Major Leagues for 19 years now. He debuted in July of 1994 with the Seattle Mariners. After playing in small stints at the Major League level in ’94 and ’95, A-Rod got his first chance to play full-time in 1996 and needless to say he did not disappoint. He put up staggering numbers every season like clockwork right up through the end of the 2010 season. Over the past two seasons we have seen a rapid decline in his production, while at the same time his apparent true calling came to light; Midday TV Soap Opera Star! And you thought he was born to play baseball. For those of you who don’t know the whole story let me quickly fill you in.
Alex Rodriguez last played for The Yankees in the 2012 postseason. He was absolutely useless in every way as The Yankees found themselves watching The World Series from home last year. He went an abysmal 3 for 25 in the postseason and if it weren’t for the struggles of Robinson Cano and the rest of The Yankees lineup he would have been singled out and burned at the stake. Since then, A-Rod has had hip surgery at the ripe old age of 37 (and has since turned 38 over the past couple of weeks), but that is merely a side note to the real story. Back in January of this year, Rodriguez, along with a slew of other MLB players, were named in connection with a Biogenesis clinic in Florida. This clinic was run by a man named Tony Bosch, who has ultimately become the centerpiece of the evidence in this case. Want to know where the drugs came from, just give a drug dealer some money and follow his lead right? This clinic was said to have provided players like Alex Rodriguez, Ryan Braun, Nelson Cruz and 11 others with PED’s which are banned from the game of baseball. Here is the full list of players suspended by MLB for PED use in connection with Biogenesis:
Alex Rodriguez (Yankees)
Ryan Braun (Brewers)
Nelson Cruz (Rangers)
Jhonny Peralta (Tigers)
Everth Cabrera (Padres
Jordany Valdespin (Mets, Minor Leagues)
Francisco Cervelli (Yankees, On DL)
Antonio Bastardo (Phillies)
Jesus Montero (Mariners, Minor Leagues)
Sergio Escalona (Astros, Minor Leagues)
Fernando Martinez (Yankees, Minor Leagues)
Fauntino De Los Santos (Free Agent)
Jordan Norberto (Free Agent)
Since January, this scandal has raged on and on like a California Wildfire and has turned into the most watched Reality TV show since The Jersey Shore (god, I hate that show). This story began to carry real weight a little over two weeks ago when 2011 MVP Ryan Braun was suspended for the remainder of the season. He took the suspension immediately without putting up a fight, and it seemed only a matter of hours before MLB would come knocking on A-Rod’s door. So we waited, and waited, and then we waited some more. In the era of Facebook, Twitter, and all things instant, the 15 days that we had to wait for A-Rod’s “suspension” to be handed down seemed like an eternity. On Monday, the 5th day of August, in the 2013th year, Alex Rodriguez was handed a 211 game suspension. I’m sorry, did you say 211? As in the most arbitrary number known to mankind? Oh, okay, I was just wondering. Forget the facts, Major League Baseball should lose this case solely based on the number 211. Here’s where it gets tricky, so try to stay with me.
Major League Baseball has an enormous drug problem (so does every other sport in the world, but it doesn’t seem to be an issue anywhere else now does it?). MLB feels that in order to rid its game of PED’s they must make an example of someone. In this case, they have chosen the all mighty Alex Rodriguez. He is not the chosen one, he just happens to be the biggest name they could find right now. Remember, they already tried Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, etc., etc., etc. Failed, failed, and oh that last one is actually currently employed by MLB. Good work guys. Despite MLB’s major blunders in the fight against PED’s, they figured they’d give it another shot. MLB wants Rodriguez out until the end of 2014. The amount of games, as I mentioned earlier, is secondary. What they don’t realize is that that will play against them in this case. According to The Joint Drug Agreement the Player’s Union has with MLB, 1st time offenders are subject to a 50-game suspension. That is what the other players suspended yesterday were given, and that’s what should have been given to A-Rod as well. However, in all of these cases, there is not a single positive test out there. All of these suspensions are predicated on substantial evidence that the players feel they cannot overcome. So, this is where the super intelligence A-Rod possesses comes into play. A-Rod understands all of this, and at the same time knows what will work for him and at the same time will work against MLB. He knows that MLB does NOT want this to drag on and on, because as aforementioned they have failed miserably when faced with a legal battle. He also knows what he has left to fight for and what he ultimately wants. He knows that his name and any chance of a legacy has been completely tarnished. He knows that his name will never be set along side the greats in Cooperstown (at least while he’s alive). He is no spring chicken at 38 years old, and all he has left in baseball terms is his enormously disproportional contract and the amount of time he has left to actually step on to the field. So how does he accomplish both of those things? By appealing said suspension of course. Now, he gets to continue playing while still picking up his paycheck. He also understands that his case will be seen in front of an arbitrator. This process takes a minimum of three to four months. This ultimately means that short of an injury, A-Rod will be donning Yankees pinstripes for the rest of this season. Now, here’s where it gets even trickier, so hold on tight. The general public does not know all of the evidence that MLB holds on Alex Rodriguez. From what we’ve heard they have texts, e-mails, and phone records between he and Tony Bosch, but we don’t know exactly how damaging this evidence could be. I’ve also heard people say, “well he admitted to using in 2003 so why can’t they punish him for that too?”. Ah, again A-Rod, you’re so smart. Can anyone tell me when drug testing began in MLB? Yes, that is correct; 2004. Now, they also want to hang him because he apparently attempted to buy evidence from Bosch and obstruct MLB’s investigation of the entire scandal. Again, I don’t know all the evidence, but to that I say good luck. Rodriguez has seen all of the evidence they have on him, and feels that he knows exactly what their intentions are. At the end of the day, MLB might want to suspend him for life, and would gladly settle for 211 games, but will be lucky if they get him to plea bargain down to 50 games. My personal hunch is that he will walk away from this with a grand total of 0 games suspended. Why? How? How in the world could that be possible?
Well, as I mentioned earlier, MLB has handled this process very poorly. By the way, why don’t they hand down the suspension on the same day that A-Rod returns from his lengthy stint on the Disabled List? Hmmm? I’m not shouting conspiracy from the rooftops, but any news is good news right? Anyway, let me preface this next statement with this: I personally despise Alex Rodriguez. He seems like a smug, arrogant, self-conscience asshole. But, MLB has actually turned this money hungry, self serving, maniacal drug abuser into a sympathetic figure. I’ve actually heard people over the past couple of months say that they feel bad for A-Rod in this situation. WHAT?!?! This man cheated the game. It is plain and simple. I don’t care about all the loopholes that I am discussing in this article and all the crap he and his legal team are going to pull with the arbitrator. I don’t care that there is no positive test out there with Alex Rodriguez’s name on it. HE DID IT!! But, as we all know, most of the other guys out there are doing it too, so I guess that makes it okay. Money can buy your way out of anything, so I guess that makes it okay. Even though this is the most ridiculous spectacle professional sports has seen in the past two decades, it’s brought baseball back to the front pages, so I guess that makes it okay. At the end of the day, it would be nice to start talking about baseball because of the games that are being played on the field. Baseball has become a sideshow where the off field drama is more interesting to viewers than the game itself. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: clean up the game by making the penalties even more harsh and include monetary penalties as well (because what are we really talking about here $$?). Here is Dave’s proposed rules for drug user’s:
Drug Test randomly once a month for the entire year.
1st Offense: Full Season including Postseason Suspension without pay (including half of player’s contract voided)
2nd Offense: Banned for life (entire contract voided and any association with baseball completely severed)
I know I know, The Player’s Union would never allow that, but where are all the clean players that should be standing up for a level playing field? Why aren’t the players who have publicly taken a stance against PED’s made their voices heard? I say hit them where it really hurts (playing time and their wallet), and you will most likely see a change in the league. Don’t get me wrong, players will always look for a competitive advantage and there are plenty of idiots out there that would continue to use even with harsher penalties. However, it would be another step in the right direction. What do you think? How do you think MLB can clean up it’s game? How do you feel about A-Rod’s suspension? Is it fair? Please tell me in the comment section below. Thanks for reading as always.
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
Hello everybody and welcome back to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!
So do you think Sergio Garcia and Riley Cooper are best buds?
I think so, I think they hang out at each other’s house and try to come up with ways to alienate themselves and potentially ruin any success they may have ever created leading up to that very moment.
I am slightly disappointed that Michael Vick is taking this whole forgiveness route, I don’t know about you but I think Cooper deserves the “Old Michael Vick” treatment.
You know what I mean.
Inbee Park!!
Who?
Oh you know just a professional female golfer who’s playing for her 4th consecutive grand slam title.
I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.
Tiger shoots an opening round 66, making every putt under the sun at the Bridgestone Invitational.
This comes just a week after the Open Championship, where he couldn’t putt the ball into a garbage can if it was right in front of him.
SHUT UP BUCK SHOWALTER!!
For those of who didn’t see what he had to say about A-Rod and The Yankees, have no fear:
“If Bud (Selig) lets them get away with that, they’re under the luxury tax,” Showalter told USA Today. “If they can reset, they can spend again and I guarantee you in two years Matt Wieters is in New York. They’re the ones who signed him to that contract.”
Let them get away with that?
I’m sorry, did The Yankees ask A-Rod or anyone else on their team to do steroids?
Are The Yankees, or any team, complicit in the use of steroids?
Is Buck Showalter the biggest crybaby known to man?
It is amazing how big the target on their back is, and how this is only a “story” because it involves The Yankees.
They don’t boo the bad teams.
Alabama is clearly the best college football team in the country, but why does everyone get so riled up over preseason rankings?
Everyone understands that this is not the same roster from last season right?
Just checking.
How about we play the games and see what happens (or let a computer decide everything and not even bother; either way).
I love how everyone is writing Canelo Alvarez off before his fight with Floyd Mayweather, but as I’ve said before and I’ll say it again right now:
Canelo Alvarez will hand Floyd Mayweather his first professional loss of his career.
Isn’t it hysterical that Greg Oden, who was drafted 6 years ago and still hasn’t played even close to a full season in the NBA due to chronic injuries; get’s to choosethe team that will have the ‘privilege’ to pay him millions of dollars.
No, inmate #174954, you will no longer get airtime on my watch; thank you very much!
So, Kansas City Chief’s offensive coordinator is obviously messin’ with the same stuff Derek Rose is if he thinks Alex Smith is the best QB in the NFL.
I get it, he’s trying to build Smith’s confidence after it was trampled last season, but Smith is not even the best team in his division forget the whole league.
Let me end by saying that what Riley Cooper said is horrible.
It is obviously extremely insensitive, and I feel that that word (along with any slur towards anyone) has no place in society.
I’m here to bring levity and comedy (hopefully) to the world of sports, so please don’t take offense to anything I say or any pictures I may post even in regards to a sensitive situation.
Thanks for reading as always, and I hope you all enjoyed this weeks One Liners.
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
Hello and welcome back to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!
Hey what do you know, Bill Belichick does have a heart.
I was actually starting to wonder if he was a robot.
Has anyone seen that picture of Tyson Chandler in a pair of shorts?
Forget one line, I have one word for Tyson Chandler : SQUATS!
I know virtually no one has noticed, but we must be in bizarro world because the U.S. Men’s Soccer team has won 9 games in a row!
Dear Derek Rose, I love the confidence, but you must be high as a kite to say that you are the best player in the NBA.
We all know you didn’t play any games last year, but apparently you didn’t watch any games either.
The Hefty Lefty shot a remarkable final round 66 to win the Open Championship, I’m just glad there were no tents in his way this year.
From now on, I think Tiger Woods should wear Pink on Sundays.
Is anyone else tired of hearing about A-Rod?
Here, I will be taking a stand against the meaningless A-Rod drivel that everyone else is pushing.
I will give you one last line: he cheated and lied, but he’s clearly The Yankees best option at 3rd base so play him until he gets suspended.
Isn’t it sad though that The Yankees are going to rely on Alfonso Soriano to be their savior?
Wait a minute, Alfonso Soriano, Derek Jeter, Andy Pettite, and Mariano Rivera, where is Chuck Knoblauch when you need him?
Lebron left his city, now he’s turning his back on his own country, what’s next? (Maybe he’ll move to Canada)
Ryan Braun bet his life and he’s still alive and Aaron Rodgers bet his salary and he’s still living large, let’s bring out the electric chair so we can move on with our day. #welchonabet
Matt Ryan gets paid!!!!!!
Apparently winning 1 career playoff game is the new benchmark for a $100 million dollar contract.
So big hits at the college level are now cause for ejection, I’m glad the NCAA is attempting to completely ruin another aspect of their game, what a shocker.
They might as well put tutu’s on these guys and let them hit each other with pillows.
Football is a violent sport, let’s leave it that way!!
Speaking of football, Jaws must be sharing Derek Rose’s stash if he thinks Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan are both better than Drew Brees.
On a serious note: I feel horrible for Tim Hudson, who over the past 15 years has been one of the most solid and consistent pitchers in all of baseball.
I feel really bad that he got injured the way he did, and I hope he is able to return to form and pitch in the Major League’s again.
The Mets are not just ruining their own players careers, but have now figured out how to ruin their opponents careers too.
Jaromir Jagr was born during World War II, and he is still playing in the NHL; amazing.
With the start of training camp it’s time to get excited about football, but I think it’s cute that Jets fans are actually convinced that they can win 9 games this year.
4 spot, if they’re lucky.
Have a nice weekend everybody!!
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
As most of you have probably heard by now, Ryan Braun of the Milwaukee Brewers has been suspended for the remainder of the 2013 season (including the playoffs that they’re not going to be in). At this point in the season that means that his suspension will total 65 games. Monetarily speaking Braun will lose just north of $3.4 million. That’s change in the couch for a guy like Braun, since he signed a contract extension in 2011 worth a whopping $105 million. Side note: Isn’t there something wrong with figures like that? One-Hundred and Five Million Dollars? Man, you could feed a small country for a year with that. But, their salaries are obviously our fault, and we all know this already, so I’ll stop traveling off topic and I’ll get back to the task at hand. If you aren’t aware of why this suspension is so fulfilling and unbelievably hysterical, let me fill you in. Ryan Braun won the MVP in 2011. Immediately following the announcement of this award, Braun provided Major League Baseball with a positive test for performance enhancing drugs. Even with a positive test out there, Braun continuously proclaimed his innocence and denied any and all use of said banned substances. He, being the sweetheart that he is, took it as far as personally attacking the man who collected the sample. The long and short of the story is that Braun did not get punished for said positive test because the man who collected the sample didn’t get it shipped out of his house in the allotted amount of time. So, Braun got off on what many have called a technicality. And rather than say thank you for getting the process right, and I didn’t do this and I’m glad our system prevailed, he went on and on and on and on in a speech for the ages. For those of you who haven’t seen this gem, click below:
Ryan Braun is a phenomenal liar if I do say so myself. I personally think he would make a fantastic double agent for the FBI or CIA. That speech right there is unbelievable. I don’t know about you, but I think he took it too far when he said he’d bet his life that these substances never entered his body. Or was it when he mentioned all the honor, integrity, and class he has? (HA!). While it is great to see such a dishonest and deceitful player get caught, it is simply not enough to change the culture of a seriously tainted sport. Now as a lifelong baseball fan, I applaud baseball for what they are trying to do. Major League Baseball (along with every major sport everywhere) has a serious drug problem, and it needs a cure. The fight against performing enhancing drugs is long overdue. The only problem is the problem is so deeply rooted, and the players have such a union set up that it will never allow such a profitable problem to be solved in its entirety. These guys make their fancy livings with the help of this stuff. And as long as the guy next to you is doing it than I guess you’ll be doing it too.
Join me as we travel back to reality. With the system we have in place in Major League Baseball and the knowledge that the union will never allow stiffer consequences for these actions, this problem will continue to persist. And that is exactly why this suspension means absolutely nothing. As of today, Ryan Braun is getting an 8 month vacation. Yes, it is unpaid but as I stated earlier that means nothing to him. He’ll go home and enjoy time with his family, and enjoy time away from a horrible baseball team. Sure his name will always be slightly tainted, but after watching that video from 2 years ago, I think he’ll be just fine. As far as the 65 game suspension goes, some of you might be wondering how they came to such a number? Major League Baseball’s Joint Drug Agreement states that if caught with banned substances you will incur penalties of first a 50-game suspension, second a 100-game suspension, and finally if caught a third time a lifetime ban from baseball. So what clearly happened with Braun was MLB came to Braun and his lawyers and said this is the evidence we have on you. The evidence must have been overwhelmingly in favor of MLB, because Braun folded like a cheap suit and basically asked for the handcuffs and said I’ll put them on myself. MLB obviously wanted the 100-game suspension if not more, but were not planning to accept the minimal 50-games. So with Braun standing there with his pants down, he must have plea bargained his way down to the rest of the season. That is how they landed on the unorthodox number of 65.
Then came the icing on the cake (Ryan Braun’s public statement from yesterday in response to the suspension) that you probably left in the back of your cabinet for 3 years and then thought it was okay to use. Please read now, and enjoy, the worst public statement in the history of mankind:
“As I have acknowledged in the past, I am not perfect. I realize now that I have made some mistakes. I am willing to accept the consequences of those actions. This situation has taken a toll on me and my entire family, and it is has been a distraction to my teammates and the Brewers organization. I am very grateful for the support I have received from players, ownership and the fans in Milwaukee and around the country. Finally, I wish to apologize to anyone I may have disappointed – all of the baseball fans especially those in Milwaukee, the great Brewers organization, and my teammates. I am glad to have this matter behind me once and for all, and I cannot wait to get back to the game I love.”
Did anyone else have a reversal of fortune after reading that horror story? Let’s take a quick look into that statement. ‘As I have acknowledged in the past, I am not perfect.’ Really? When was that acknowledgement again? I don’t remember ever hearing about that. ‘This situation has taken a toll on me and my entire family.’ No, not on you, just on everyone else involved except for you because you are the only reason this ordeal is taking place. I would continue translating and analyzing this thing of beauty, but I don’t want to be sick to my stomach all day. The bottom line is that this suspension is the first of many, and it is certainly a step in the right direction. The only problem is it is the equivalent of taking about 5 steps up Mount Everest.
Finally, you all must be wondering what this means for Alex Rodriguez. It means nothing good for A-Rod that’s what it means. Sources are already saying that A-Rod is in discussions with MLB to work out a deal. Hmmm, that doesn’t sound like good news now does it? He was supposed to be back in the Yankees lineup Monday night, but that was postponed due to a “slight quad strain”. Yeah, okay, and my grandma is a professional basketball player. The Yankees, or MLB, or someone obviously didn’t want Rodriguez to step on to the field this season. So they had a little talk with Alex and extended his stay on the disabled list. My prediction is that MLB drops the hammer on A-Rod before the weekend is done.
What do you think of Braun’s suspension? Do you think it is meaningful or insignificant? What do you think will become of Alex Rodriguez? Please let me know by leaving your comments and responses in the comment section below. Thank you!
If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
Dave Talks Sports 