One Liner Friday’s

a-rod-600-copy

Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

You guys want to hear about A-Rod or Johnny Manziel, or A-Rod, or Johnny Manziel, or A-Rod, or Johnny Manziel?

Tiger Woods seems to be trying things a little differently this time around, he decided to falter on Thursday instead of Sunday.

Adam Adam Scott y’all!!

It’s awesome to see football games being played again, but the preseason is about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop.

Dodgeball anyone?

Great movie.

Reports are saying that Plaxico Burress has shot himself in his other leg…no I’m just kidding, he tore his rotator cuff though (bye-bye career).

So, upon the return of A-Rod and Granderson, The Yankees still suck, so what do they do now?

Some are calling for C.C. Sabathia to get back on the Cheeseburger wagon and to that I say hell yes!

And people are asking what Yankees fans reaction will be when A-Rod steps to the plate in the house that Jeter built?

This is a simple question to answer, he will be booed initially, but the following reaction will be strictly tied to his performance.

Johnny Manziel represents everything I hate about the younger generation in the U.S.

He has been spoiled, and told he is better and more special than everyone else his entire life, oh and he has money.

That’s the trifecta of how to raise a douchebag right there, no wonder he’s the dumbest college football player of all time.

Here at GloboGym, we’re better than you, and we know it!

Man, I’m just full of Dodgeball references today.

Seriously though, you have to be some kind of special moron when you are a player of his caliber and you sign autographs for money and try to cover it up.

The Yankees bats have gone so cold they figured they could turn the stadium into an ice hockey rink.

Coming this winter: Hockey at Yankee Stadium!

The Devils will take on the Rangers on January 26th, and the Islanders will take on the Rangers on January 29th.

That Rangers vs. Islanders game will be pretty cool because it will take place at night under the lights.

Mark Sanchez vs. Geno Smith is like a play-in game in March Madness, the winner gets the right to get spanked by the #1 seed.

This week’s edition is short and sweet, but I hope you enjoyed it.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

20130802-062952.jpg

Hello everybody and welcome back to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

So do you think Sergio Garcia and Riley Cooper are best buds?

I think so, I think they hang out at each other’s house and try to come up with ways to alienate themselves and potentially ruin any success they may have ever created leading up to that very moment.

I am slightly disappointed that Michael Vick is taking this whole forgiveness route, I don’t know about you but I think Cooper deserves the “Old Michael Vick” treatment.

You know what I mean.

Inbee Park!!

Who?

Oh you know just a professional female golfer who’s playing for her 4th consecutive grand slam title.

I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.

Tiger shoots an opening round 66, making every putt under the sun at the Bridgestone Invitational.

This comes just a week after the Open Championship, where he couldn’t putt the ball into a garbage can if it was right in front of him.

SHUT UP BUCK SHOWALTER!!

For those of who didn’t see what he had to say about A-Rod and The Yankees, have no fear:

“If Bud (Selig) lets them get away with that, they’re under the luxury tax,” Showalter told USA Today. “If they can reset, they can spend again and I guarantee you in two years Matt Wieters is in New York. They’re the ones who signed him to that contract.”

Let them get away with that?

I’m sorry, did The Yankees ask A-Rod or anyone else on their team to do steroids?

Are The Yankees, or any team, complicit in the use of steroids?

Is Buck Showalter the biggest crybaby known to man?

It is amazing how big the target on their back is, and how this is only a “story” because it involves The Yankees.

They don’t boo the bad teams.

Alabama is clearly the best college football team in the country, but why does everyone get so riled up over preseason rankings?

Everyone understands that this is not the same roster from last season right?

Just checking.

How about we play the games and see what happens (or let a computer decide everything and not even bother; either way).

I love how everyone is writing Canelo Alvarez off before his fight with Floyd Mayweather, but as I’ve said before and I’ll say it again right now:
Canelo Alvarez will hand Floyd Mayweather his first professional loss of his career.

Isn’t it hysterical that Greg Oden, who was drafted 6 years ago and still hasn’t played even close to a full season in the NBA due to chronic injuries; get’s to choosethe team that will have the ‘privilege’ to pay him millions of dollars.

No, inmate #174954, you will no longer get airtime on my watch; thank you very much!

So, Kansas City Chief’s offensive coordinator is obviously messin’ with the same stuff Derek Rose is if he thinks Alex Smith is the best QB in the NFL.

I get it, he’s trying to build Smith’s confidence after it was trampled last season, but Smith is not even the best team in his division forget the whole league.

Let me end by saying that what Riley Cooper said is horrible.

It is obviously extremely insensitive, and I feel that that word (along with any slur towards anyone) has no place in society.

I’m here to bring levity and comedy (hopefully) to the world of sports, so please don’t take offense to anything I say or any pictures I may post even in regards to a sensitive situation.

Thanks for reading as always, and I hope you all enjoyed this weeks One Liners.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

20130726-065034.jpg

Hello and welcome back to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Hey what do you know, Bill Belichick does have a heart.

I was actually starting to wonder if he was a robot.

Has anyone seen that picture of Tyson Chandler in a pair of shorts?

Forget one line, I have one word for Tyson Chandler : SQUATS!

I know virtually no one has noticed, but we must be in bizarro world because the U.S. Men’s Soccer team has won 9 games in a row!

Dear Derek Rose, I love the confidence, but you must be high as a kite to say that you are the best player in the NBA.

We all know you didn’t play any games last year, but apparently you didn’t watch any games either.

The Hefty Lefty shot a remarkable final round 66 to win the Open Championship, I’m just glad there were no tents in his way this year.

From now on, I think Tiger Woods should wear Pink on Sundays.

Is anyone else tired of hearing about A-Rod?

Here, I will be taking a stand against the meaningless A-Rod drivel that everyone else is pushing.

I will give you one last line: he cheated and lied, but he’s clearly The Yankees best option at 3rd base so play him until he gets suspended.

Isn’t it sad though that The Yankees are going to rely on Alfonso Soriano to be their savior?

Wait a minute, Alfonso Soriano, Derek Jeter, Andy Pettite, and Mariano Rivera, where is Chuck Knoblauch when you need him?

Lebron left his city, now he’s turning his back on his own country, what’s next? (Maybe he’ll move to Canada)

Ryan Braun bet his life and he’s still alive and Aaron Rodgers bet his salary and he’s still living large, let’s bring out the electric chair so we can move on with our day. #welchonabet

Matt Ryan gets paid!!!!!!

Apparently winning 1 career playoff game is the new benchmark for a $100 million dollar contract.

So big hits at the college level are now cause for ejection, I’m glad the NCAA is attempting to completely ruin another aspect of their game, what a shocker.

They might as well put tutu’s on these guys and let them hit each other with pillows.

Football is a violent sport, let’s leave it that way!!

Speaking of football, Jaws must be sharing Derek Rose’s stash if he thinks Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan are both better than Drew Brees.

On a serious note: I feel horrible for Tim Hudson, who over the past 15 years has been one of the most solid and consistent pitchers in all of baseball.

I feel really bad that he got injured the way he did, and I hope he is able to return to form and pitch in the Major League’s again.

The Mets are not just ruining their own players careers, but have now figured out how to ruin their opponents careers too.

Jaromir Jagr was born during World War II, and he is still playing in the NHL; amazing.

With the start of training camp it’s time to get excited about football, but I think it’s cute that Jets fans are actually convinced that they can win 9 games this year.

4 spot, if they’re lucky.

Have a nice weekend everybody!!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Phenomenal Phil Claims Claret Jug

20130722-111952.jpg

While everyone else was moving backward, he charged forward. From the beginning of the day, he was staring down the barrel of a 5-shot deficit, but by the end of the day he found himself standing alone at the top of a hill. Only instead of a hill he was standing on a mountain (because a 3-shot victory in a tightly contested golf tournament is like winning a baseball game 9-1). Phil Mickelson played the round of his life on the grandest of stages on Sunday. It is a round that will go down in history as one of the finest of all-time, and there were some signature shots that will be remembered for decades to come. This phenomenal display of golf earned Mickelson his 5th career Major and his 1st Open Championship. With this victory he finds himself on a short list of men to have won 3 different Majors.

Mickelson, now 43, didn’t win his 1st Major until the age of 33. Over the past decade he and his game have matured nicely. In the past Mickelson was pegged as the best to never win, as he came up short time after time. It was always the high risk/high reward shots that seemed to draw him in like a magnet. Unfortunately for Phil, these shots always seemed to become his downfall in the most clutch moments. We all remember the horribly sliced tee shot on the 18th hole of the 2006 U.S Open (you know the one off of the tent). That shot was then followed by the inane decision to go for the green and subsequently was drilled right into a tree. It has been his transformation from then to now that has been the difference. He still has the best game in the world from 100 yards and in, and this past weekend his best friend was his putter. He controlled his emotions and made a late surge on the back nine on Sunday. This had to be the best stretch of golf he has ever played. To birdie 4 of the last 6 holes while seemingly everyone else on the course was faltering and misstepping and landing up against the walls of cross bunkers, was simply something to behold. The shot that will stick in my mind has to be Phil’s 2nd shot from the fairway on #17. The commentators had just finished saying that they doubted that Phil could get it home from 300 yards away, however Phil hit a perfect 3 wood and along with a fortuitous bounce and roll he found himself with a 40 foot eagle try. He proceeded to make a nice lag putt for a tap in birdie. With nerves of steel he stepped up to the tee at 18 and smacked the ball right down the middle of the fairway. From there he put the ball to about 10 feet on the 18th green. To ensure that this Major would not slip through his fingers, he put the final nail in the coffin and drilled the putt for a birdie. With a double fist pump above his head, he knew he had done it. He had just shot a 5 under 66, and was just a short wait away from winning at a venue that he never thought he could win. Even though all the doubters had started to write Lefty off, he is actually playing some of the best golf of his career (even with the heart wrenching runner-up finish at the U.S. Open this year).

All in all the round of golf that we all were privy to yesterday was a special one. It should go down as one of the best rounds of golf we will ever see. Phil has constantly been overshadowed by El Tigre his entire career, but people should appreciate the talent that is The Hefty Lefty. He is approaching top ten golfer of all-time status. Maybe Tiger and Phil can renew their old rivalry since clearly little Rory Mcilroy will be too busy visiting his shrink on Sundays. What do you think? Will Phil win the PGA Championship or will Tiger snap out of his major funk and add to his trophy case? Or is there someone else from the field you think will emerge?

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

20130719-054755.jpg

Hello and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you will find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Mark my words: Everyone at the Open Championship needs to watch out for Tiger Woods.

I know I know, that’s a really hard prediction to make, but I’m making it because he has found a nice rhythm and he’s got the putter working (he doesn’t lose when he putts well).

That’s a scientific fact!

Anchorman anyone?

The MLB All-Star Game is the only one of the major sports that I look forward to not watching.

It can’t be an exhibition and mean something at the SAME TIME!!

The HomeRun Derby is still cool though.

Watching human beings (albeit human beings on massive amounts of growth hormones) hit baseballs 500 feet never gets old.

Yoenis Cespedes is a beast!!

For those of who didn’t watch the ESPY’S (like me), you need to check out Lebron James’ outfit:

20130719-053946.jpg

Umm excuse me Mr. usher, can you help me find my seat?

Whatever happened to the regular old black tux?

So little Johnny Manziel is getting drunk, getting arrested, and is in the process of ruining his future, it sounds like he’ll fit right in in the NFL.

But, whatever you do John, just remember that NOBODY CARES!!

A-Rod says he’ll be back on the Yankees on Monday, I want to believe him, I just don’t.

Oh you want a $25 million dollar contract?

But you don’t have any major injuries?

Oh no I’m sorry I can’t give you a contract unless at least one of your body parts is falling apart.

What’s that, you do have knees that are deteriorating, by all means then J.R. Smith, please sign right here.

Jaws must have been smoking that good stuff when he made is QB list because there is no way in hell that Matt Ryan is better than Drew Brees.

Lebron, Kobe, and Melo are not going to wind up on the same team.

That’s crazy, that would be like Iron Man, Thor, and The Hulk all teaming up to……..ahhh or maybe it could happen.

Does Kevin Garnett know that he’s going to have to coach the Nets while Jason Kidd is in jail??

I’d like to end on a serious note.

This year is the 20th anniversary of Jimmy V’s famous “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up” speech.

I’d just like to say that we should never take anything, anyone, or any day we have for granted because you never know when it’ll all be gone.

Cherish your lives every day, and appreciate the life that you have.

Thanks for reading and enjoy your weekend everybody!!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

20130712-075000.jpg

Hello everyone and welcome to another stellar edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!

I’d say Ron Metta Artest World Peace should say bye bye to LaLa Land, but clearly he has a permanent residence there.

Seriously though, the Knicks should sign him since he’s the gritty type of player they need.

As long as he promises not to eat anyone’s face than it will be a good pickup.

Why does everyone keep telling me how clean cut and ‘proper’ the Patriots franchise is?

The Patriots cornerback (Alfonzo Dennard) who was just arrested for the second time (for a DUI this time), was drafted by the Patriots just a week AFTER he was arrested for assaulting an officer.

What in the wild world of all things that are holy is Ilya Kovalchuk thinking?

This man just retired from the NHL at the age of 30 and left $77 million on the table (yeah I’m sure he won’t regret that move down the road).

Speaking of Russians, The Brooklyn Nets signed wild hair-do man Andrei Kirilenko to a 2 year $6 million contract.

It’s official, the Net’s are no longer “making splashes”, they’re flat out doing cannonballs in the middle of the pool.

By the way, The Nets Russian owner Mikhail Prokhorov is obviously going to buy fellow Russian Andrei Kirilenko an extra special Christmas present this year considering he left about $7 million on the table in free agency.

I’m just saying.

The Cleveland Cavaliers are the next victims of the I think Andrew Bynum can play basketball movement.

Man, it’s going to be embarrassing when Major League Baseball tries to suspend players again, and they come back with a handful of lint, again.

I don’t care what his MRI says, The Yankees brought Derek Jeter back too early, again.

You heard it here first, Miguel Cabrera will win back to back Triple Crown’s this year.

Yasiel Puig not being an All-Star makes about as much sense as an Interstate Highway in Hawaii (they really have those).

Dwight Howard to the Rockets?

So he wants to continue NOT filling the shoes of the game’s all-time great centers?

Want the list?

You got it: Shaquille O’Neal, George Mikan, Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, and now Hakeem Olajuwon.

Yeah, that shouldn’t tarnish your already sterling legacy.

You all realize that Anderson Silva still believes he won that fight on Saturday night right?

How happy does it make you to watch someone so cocky and so full of themselves get knocked the bleep out?

If you haven’t seen it just click here:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OwDqz2P0YTw

Who knew you could be fat and still win Wimbledon?

Apparently, Marion Bartoli was the only person who possessed such knowledge.

Andy Murray wins his first Wimbledon and then proceeds to high five and hug like 85 people before forgetting to acknowledge his own mother.

Way to man up with those bulls Rex Ryan.

I’ve never seen Rex move that fast before, he looked like a cheetah chasing down his prey the way he skyrocketed up that fence.

Nice face Nick Swisher.

How about you do your job that you get paid millions for and trot down to first base there chief.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

Welcome back to another Friday edition of One Liners. Here you will find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!

Congratulations Lebron on winning your 2nd championship, now you’re not a complete and total failure.

Everyone can keep saying that Gregg Popovich is the best coach of all-time, but when you make horrible blunder after horrible blunder late in championship games maybe you’re not who we thought you were.

Thanks for explaining yourself though, we all really appreciate it.

It’s time Manu, it’s time.

Everyone understands that Aaron Hernandez is going to be brought up on murder charges soon right?

I mean this guy has to be one of the dumbest people on the planet.

Aaron, please don’t shoot me in the face because you’re the butt of one of my jokes.

+13 Tiger, really?

At least you didn’t make any excuses for your poor play.

Can the Yankees demote Phil Hughes all the way back to high school?

The sky is falling the sky is falling, oh no wait that’s just babies falling from the sky.

In all seriousness though, nice catch Joe Torre’s daughter.

If you haven’t been watching the Stanley Cup Finals you should start.

Yasiel Puig!

Now I know Spain is the best soccer team in the world, but 10-0?

The craziest part of that game is that Spain let Tahiti play with 17 men on the field.

This week’s installment has been short but sweet, but I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Big Weekend In Sports

This was a big weekend in sports that just passed us by. I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend and their Father’s Day. If you spent some time on your couch with your television like I did, than you definitely enjoyed yourself. There were 3 major sporting events going on, and I’m going to give you a quick rundown of what took place in each one. First you had Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals on Saturday night. Then you had the finish of golf’s U.S Open Sunday Evening. And last but certainly not least you had Game 5 of the NBA Finals Sunday night. None were more exciting than the hockey game between the Chicago Blackhawks and Boston Bruins.

If you saw Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals than you already know how epically great that game was, and how competitive this series is going to be. Quickly for those who don’t know, the Blackhawks took Game 1 in triple overtime! It was a game for the ages and it set the table for game 2. How could Game 2 live up to the expectations that Game 1 laid on top of its napkin you ask? Well, they mustered up another exhilarating overtime thriller, that’s how. The Boston Bruins evened up the series at 1 game a piece by winning 2-1 over Chicago. Boston allowed a lonely goal in the 1st period and then tightened up the defense for the rest of the contest. You can catch what should be another exciting game on Monday night on NBC. The puck drops at 8:00 p.m. in Boston. Enjoy!!

Now, ever since Thursday morning’s rain delayed U.S. Open got started, everyone was wondering and waiting for Tiger to make his push towards his 15th major. The only problem was that the push never came. Tiger didn’t start out too badly but played progressively worse as the week went on. Tiger finished with a career worst 72-hole score of +13. I guess we’ll all have to wait for the British Open to see if Tiger can end his 5 year drought without a major victory. His last major came at the U.S. Open in 2008 after beating Rocco Mediate in a ’19’ hole playoff. While Woods struggled with Mr. 3 Wiggle all weekend, Justin Rose minimized his mistakes and gutted out his 1st major victory. He won by 2 strokes (+1) over 2nd place finishers Jason Day and Phil Mickelson (both were +3). This is Phil’s 6th 2nd place finish at U.S. Open. Man that’s gotta suck! Anyway, job well done Justin Rose, and better luck next time Phil.

Sunday night’s NBA Finals Game 5 was one that was certain to bring big drama. The San Antonio Spurs and Miami Heat have exchanged wins all series, but everyone was expecting the Heat to carry their momentum from game 4 into game 5 and finally put this series out of reach. Boy were they wrong. Despite another solid performance from Dwyane Wade, the Spurs were simply too good for Miami. They basically carried the lead from wire to wire and won the game by a score of 114-104. San Antonio’s ‘Big 3’ hopped in their time machine and pulled a performance somewhere out of 2003. They scored a combined 67 points while arguably the Finals MVP at the moment, Danny Green, added 24 points of his own. Green hit another 6 3-pointers and surpassed Ray Allen as the all-time leader for 3-pointers in an NBA Finals. Manu Ginobili was inserted into the starting lineup and hit the Spurs first shot. He was off and running from there and never looked back. While the Spurs seemingly couldn’t miss, Lebron James went ice cold in the 2nd half. For the game he went a putrid 8-22 from the field, and will need to play a whole lot better if they plan on raising any more banners in Miami this year. You got what you asked for Lebron. Now all you have to do is execute. Good luck buddy, you’re going to need it.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

Welcome back to another Friday edition of One Liners. Here you will find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!

I hope the Nets won’t mind that Jason Kidd has to take a leave of absence from coaching to serve jail time for his pending DWI case.

Just because Tim Tebow plays for the New England Patriots doesn’t mean he’s all of a sudden going to be good at football.

Tom Brady doesn’t have any magic dust to sprinkle on Tebow’s arm that’s going to make him accurate.

What I’m trying to say is my mother throws a football better than Tim Tebow.

You might be laughing but that’s no joke; mom dukes has a cannon.

So Serena Williams is decent at tennis huh?

Rafael Nadal should only play tournaments on clay, and any other tournament he is asked to play in he should kindly reply, no gracias.

When one of your finals games goes to triple overtime and it’s not even the lead story on ESPN, you know your sports in trouble (sorry hockey).

Hey Roger Goodell you know what you should do, you should make a public statement that offends an entire race of people, yeah yeah do that, that’s smart.

Breaking News: Mark McGwire eats entire Diamondbacks pitching staff in one bite during benches clearing brawl.

So much for players policing themselves huh?

Yasiel Puig!!

Yes, Jaromir freaking Jagr is still in the NHL, and no he’s not just riding the bench to say he made a comeback, he played 33 minutes Wednesday night.

And yes, Jagr was that player known as that other guy who played on the Penguins with Lemieux back when you were a kid.

Does Thiago Splitter know how tall he is??

In the words of Bill Walton, “Throw it down big man, throw it down!”

Hey Dwyane Wade: are you hurt or are you not hurt, are you finished or are you not finished?

By the way, that kid Sebastian De La Cruz who sings the National Anthem at Spurs games is awesome.

(Read this one in that Spongebob narrator voice) 18 innings later……

The Yankees and Athletics love baseball so much they decided to play 2 games in 1.

Can I get a little golf here?

For those of you who don’t know (and I’m pretty sure that’s most of you), golf’s U.S. Open started on Thursday, sort of.

If it ever stops raining we might get to watch some golf.

I want to take a second to wish a very Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there.

Sleep in, watch TV on the couch, go play golf, eat and drink whatever you want.

Whatever you do just make sure you enjoy your day.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

If winning Coach of the Year doesn’t guarantee your employment, what the hell does??

Sorry George Karl, but if you never raise people’s expectations too high they’ll never be too disappointed.

A-Rod, A-Rod, A-Rod how I loathe thee.

A-Rod has to be the dumbest guy in the world to think he was going to get away with cheating.

Didn’t you learn anything the first time?

What does Phil Hughes think he’s good now or something?

How bout dem Spurs!!

I didn’t know Tony Parker was an acrobat, man those French are sneaky.

Serena Williams is so good at tennis it’s offensive.

She beat her semifinal opponent in 6 minutes (it was actually 46 minutes but who’s counting?).

Hey Chris Bosh, you know there’s a basketball game going on that you’re supposed to be a part of right???

Tiger Woods say: See what had happened was, I was going to win, but I decided to be +8 and finish 20 shots back instead.

Watch him turn around and win the U.S. Open next week.

The Miami Marlins are 16-44, they should be removed the the Major’s; permanently.

Whoever put together the brackets for the French Open should be fired.

Novak Djokivic and Rafael Nadal is a great matchup today in the semifinals, but that should clearly be the finals matchup.

And yes, the NHL Playoffs are still going on.

I actually had to look that last one up to verify first.

Wait, people will put their bodies at risk and cheat in order to gain a competitive advantage and in turn make millions of dollars?

NO WAY!

Mmmmmm Donut.

For those of you were not aware, it is National Donut Day.

Yeah that’s right, enjoy!

Aww what happened wittle Webron, were your wittle wegs tired last night?

You better win game 2 Lebron, because if you don’t you will lose this series.

This has been another installment of One Liner Friday’s. I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!