A-Rod Celebrates His 40th Birthday With What Else….An A-Bomb From A-Rod!!

July 28, 2015July 29, 2015 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

DaveTalksSports: What do you want for your birthday this year Alex Rodriguez?

Alex: I don’t know Dave. I feel like I have everything I’ve ever wanted.

DaveTalksSports: How about another home run? You don’t have enough of those yet.

Alex: Oh yeah, that sounds like a great id……

DaveTalksSports: Oh wait, have you been a good boy?

Alex: No, not really.

DaveTalksSports: Oh who am I kidding?! It doesn’t matter! You’re playing so well you are completely overshadowing all the mean, nasty, hurtful, despicable, dishonest, and deceitful things you’ve done, and you’ll probably get exactly what you want anyway.

Alex: Yay!!

Alex Rodriguez turned 40 years old yesterday. In honor of himself, he hit his 678th career home run in a 6-2 victory over his former team; The Texas Rangers. A-Rod is now hitting .276 on the season with 24 home runs and 59 runs batted in. He has WILDLY exceeded everyone’s expectations this year (possibly even his own), and after serving a 162-game suspension last season, A-Rod has returned completely rejuvenated. Being the New York Yankees’ primary DH has helped A-Rod solely focus on hitting, as he has only played 6 games in the field (4 at 3B and 2 at 1B). It has also allowed him to stay healthy while playing in 91 of the Yankees’ 98 games this season.

As with anything attached to Alex Rodriguez’s name there is always suspicion. Is his success this season tainted or has he found the fountain of youth in a back alley somewhere in The Bronx? No matter what your opinion of A-Rod, we must admit his season has been spectacular, and he is one of the biggest reasons the Yankees stand atop the American League East.

After A-Rod’s hot week of home run hitting (hitting 5 home runs in as many days), the ‘Live In The Moment’ question of the day is: Will A-Rod pass Barry Bonds and how many home runs will he end his career with (so what if that’s 2 questions)? All I can do is laugh. As much as A-Rod enjoys shoving his success in the face of his doubters, father time waits for no man. I’ll simplify it: Today, A-Rod has 678 hr’s and would need 85 more to pass Bonds. Even at an ultra-gernerous pace of 20 hr’s per year, A-Rod would need to RE-SIGN ANOTHER CONTRACT after his age 41 season of 2017 (when he’ll turn 42), and then continue this torrid pace. I’m sorry to disappoint all you dreamers out there, but enjoy A-Rod while he’s still dropping ‘A-Bombs’ because before you know it he’ll only be dropping Informant Tips on his PED Supplier.

What do you think? Is A-Rod’s success this season natural? Or is he back on the juice?

Let me know in the comment section below.

Since you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Joe Girardi….The Innovator?!

April 3, 2015April 3, 2015 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ 3 Comments

Two. That is the total number of career saves potential New York Yankees closers Dellin Betances and Andrew Miller have COMBINED. Friday morning, Yankees manager Joe Girardi announced that he will not designate an official closer for the upcoming season. To some, this appears that Girardi simply can’t decide between Miller and Betances. To me, I believe Girardi is hiding behind Betances’ horrid spring in order to break tradition. Girardi wants to become the first Manager to do away with the ‘closer’ title. He wants to put the pitcher that best fits a given situation in the game to give his team the best chance to win; period. I’ve never been a big fan of Girardi, but this ground breaking move would impress me. There is a possibility that this situation corrects itself if one man out duels the other, however, I think Betances is pitching hurt. Usually when a pitcher’s velocity suddenly drops significantly, there is a lingering injury waiting to show itself.

What do you think of Girardi’s decision? Do you think every team should designate one official closer, or should we do away with the title ‘closer’ all together?

Let me know in the comment section below.

Big Unit Headlines 2015 Hall of Fame Class

January 8, 2015January 8, 2015 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ 2 Comments

They are part of forever. Despite all the controversy, and all the rhetoric, and the convoluted voting process, their individual accomplishments can never be second guessed again. Randy Johnson, Pedro Martinez, John Smoltz, and Craig Biggio were voted in to the MLB Hall of Fame on Tuesday, and they will be officially inducted on July 26th in Cooperstown, NY. These inductions mark only the third time at least four players have been voted in to the Hall of Fame in one year (the last was 1955). Also, for the first time, three first-ballot candidates were voted in in consecutive years.

Randy Johnson, regarded by many as the best left-handed pitcher of all-time, garnered 97.3% of the votes (the 8th highest percentage of all-time). The “Big Unit” is one of only two pitchers to win four consecutive CY Young Awards, the other being Greg Maddux. Johnson was a strikeout machine, as he is still the all-time leader in K’s per nine innings (10.6). Standing 6’10” tall, Johnson was an intimidating force, playing on six different teams during his 22 year career. Most impressively, Johnson is a member of the 300-Win Club (303). Pedro Martinez, a three time CY Young Award winner, received 91.1% of the votes. Martinez had one of the most dominant stretches of any pitcher during his prime, finishing in the top four of the CY Young Award in seven out of eight years. He also helped the Boston Red Sox win the World Series in 2004. John Smoltz had a unique, 21 year career. He is the only pitcher ever to record 200 wins and 150 saves. Playing almost his entire career with the Atlanta Braves, he was a staple in their pitching staff, along side fellow Hall of Famers, Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine. That Braves dynasty won a record 14 straight National League East titles. And last but not least, Craig Biggio will enter the Hall of Fame in his third year of eligibility. Biggio is a member of the 3,000 hit club, playing multiple defensive positions over his 20 year career. While playing second base, outfield, and catcher he won four gold gloves. He is the only player in Major League history to have 3,000 hits, 600 doubles, 250 home runs, and 400 stolen bases.

It is wonderful to see these great players honored for their achievements, but a dark cloud still remains, constantly hovering over Major League Baseball. No, that cloud isn’t filled with water vapor, it’s filled with steroids. And every time we have this conversation, it serves as an annual reminder of all the cheating and accusations that surround baseball’s best players. My opinion of these players is simple. It is impossible to know who did or did not take steroids. Therefore, in order not to falsely accuse innocent players or unknowingly allow cheaters into the Hall of Fame, we must view everyone on an even playing field. Barry Bonds existed. Barry Bonds broke numerous records and is one of the greatest baseball players that ever lived. Personal opinions aside (I for one can’t stand the guy), baseball is doing itself a disservice by not allowing Bonds in to the Hall of Fame. As for Mike Piazza, here is a guy to feel bad for. While he will most likely get in to the Hall of Fame next year, it is absurd that solely rumors are keeping him on the outside looking in. He is the best offensive catcher of all-time. The voting system is not a fair system at all. Instead, it is a group of ego maniacal sports writers, who think this process is a platform for settling personal vendettas. Yeah, not so much. The writers need to stop pretending an entire era didn’t exist, and they need to put em’ all in!!

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it!

How do you feel about this years Hall of Fame inductees? Did the committee get it right? Should accused steroid users be allowed in to the Hall of Fame?

Let me know how you feel in the comment section below.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One-Liner Fridays

July 18, 2014 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ 2 Comments

Helllllooooo sports fans!! It’s Friday again. I know you thought it would never get here, but the weekend is right around the corner. I will get your weekend started a little early with a weekly segment I like to call: One-Liner Fridays. You know how it goes. Today, I will wrap up the past week in sports in One Line and One Line only. Enjoy!!

You know the dog days of summer have hit you square in the face when GOLF is the most exciting thing on TV.

Oh no wait, I forgot, you can always turn on some WNBA action……

So I heard some clown on ESPN radio last night talking about how betting on the Mets to win the World Series this year (at 200 to 1 odds) wouldn’t be the dumbest thing that has ever happened before…….NO????

I mean I’m no rocket scientist, but I’m pretty sure laying that bet would put you in the running for dumbest person ever.

So Chad Johnson (yes Ochocinco), is playing in the CFL now, and he just scored his first touchdown the other day, but if you haven’t seen it check out the ref who is clearly not the hugger Derek Jeter is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EGDt07j7sA

I know I know, everybody just LOVES Lebron James again, but as you know from my article I know everyone read (https://davetalkssports.com/2014/07/11/lebron-james-returns-to-cleveland/), I’m not buying the bullcrap salad that he’s selling.

But seriously, Lebron just placed first in the Harris Poll, which determines the most popular athlete in the United States, I bet The Joker wishes he could figure out how to go from the villain to everyone’s hero in just 1 year.

Which brings me to another basketball player, Carmelo Anthony, also known as the most generous and most selfless man in the world.

He’s not in it for the money man, he’s all about pay cuts.

This man took $7 million less on a 5-year, $129 million contract, if that is not a sacrifice that screams TEAM than I don’t know what is.

More basketball??

Okay.

I only have one thing to say to the Los Angeles Lakers: “HAHAHAHAHAHA….Carlos Boozer….HAHAHAHAHAHA….Jeremy Lin….HAHAHAHAHAHA….okay maybe that was more than one thing, but you get the point.

When Tracy McGrady got signed by the Sugar Land Skeeters (insert immature laughter here), I figured he would have a long, illustrious career….and I was right, he pitched 6 and 2/3 innings, recorded 1 strikeout, and then said I think I’ve had enough.

So he retired.

Major League Baseball definitely handled Derek Jeter’s final All-Star Game very tastefully, but man is that game terrible.

If it wasn’t for Derek Jeter, I think there would have been 4 viewers of that game (yea, I said 4).

The only thing worse than the All-Star Game itself is the Home Run Derby, that right there is 4 hours of my life that I can NEVER get back again.

Here is a simple formula of how to fix the Home Run Derby: you give Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, and Sammy Sosa a bunch of steroids and give them each their own personalized club (you know like a caveman club) and watch them bash 600 foot home runs for an hour, this way everyone’s happy and these clowns get 15 more minutes of fame….oh, and feel free to throw Jose Canseco in there if you want.

Tiger Tiger Woods y’all is back, it’s crazy how much one man can effect an entire sport.

So now that the worst time of the year in sports is upon us is it too early to ask everyone’s favorite question: ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!?!

This has been another edition of One-Liner Fridays. I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have a One-Liner of your own please post it in the comment section below.

Hugs All Around

July 16, 2014July 16, 2014 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

Now a days it is hard to find a player as well liked and respected as Derek Jeter. Last night’s All-Star Game festivities was a prime example of that. This was Derek Jeter’s 14th and final All-Star Game appearance, and it was only proper to pay homage to a living legend such as himself. Personally I believe Major League Baseball, the people of Minnesota, and his fellow competitors did a great job in honoring Derek Jeter last night. To start the night off, Derek gave his team a pregame speech, and in typical Derek Jeter fashion he decided to thank his American League teammates rather than make it about himself. The entire night seemed too good to be true, as if it were scripted for a play, but that is exactly how it should have felt.

To start off the game, Derek was tested in the field. Derek made a diving stop on a sharply hit ball up the middle and nearly threw out the speedy Andrew McCutchen at first base. It was funny to hear Derek Jeter say, during his 4th inning interview with Tim Kurkjian, that he wishes he could have thrown the replay flag on that play. Side Note: What is the umpire thinking not calling McCutchen out on sheer principal???? What transpired in the bottom of the 1st inning was priceless and yet again perfect. Derek Jeter was called to the plate by the late great Bob Shepard, something that has happened since the dawn of time in Yankee Stadium. As Derek approached the plate, he was ready to dig in and get this show on the road, however, Adam Wainwright and the fans had other plans. Wainwright, being the class act that he is, set his glove down on the mound and stood halfway between the mound and second base. Wainwright had no intentions of interfering with the 63-second standing ovation that the fans in Minnesota gave Derek. When Derek’s first at-bat finally got under way, on the second pitch, Derek drove the ball the opposite way (in typical Derek Jeter fashion), for a stand-up double. We have watched that inside out swing of his for 20 years now, a swing that has produced 3,408 regular season hits (9th on the all-time list). After Derek’s double, he was promptly driven in by the living, breathing version of He-Man; Mike Trout. As we fast forward to the 3rd inning, Derek notched another All-Star Game hit on his belt, where else but to right field (this one of the bloop variety). This final hit brought his all time All-Star Game batting average up to .481 (13 for 27), which is 2nd all time.

The start of the 4th inning seemed like any other. The players for the American League took the field and went through their warm-up routines, but boy were they in for a surprise. Just as warm-ups concluded and the inning was about to start, American League Manager John Farrell sent Alexei Ramirez out to shortstop to replace Derek Jeter. This move allowed Derek to receive an individual standing ovation, which lasted about 2 and a half minutes. In the dugout, Derek went to every person on the roster and gave them their own personalized hug. I think he even gave the grounds crew members a hug on his way out of the stadium too. And as expected, the fans continued cheering until Derek came out for a well deserved curtain call. Last night was nearly perfect for Major League Baseball, for the fans, and for Derek Jeter. The only part that they missed (besides not calling McCutchen out on the play at first) was not giving Derek the All-Star Game MVP Award. All the baseball writers of the world can talk about how last night was the passing of the torch from Derek Jeter to Mike Trout (who won the MVP Award) all they want, but that is incorrect. Last night was about Derek Jeter and Derek Jeter alone. Last night’s game was not about, and should never be, about home field advantage in the World Series. It was about one of the greatest baseball players to ever play the game. It was about paying tribute to one of the most decorated careers in baseball history. No one handles themselves better in these situations than The Captain. Over his career he has always remained gracious and most importantly he is never selfish. Last night was another testament to that and the greatness that is Derek Jeter.

One Liner Fridays

July 11, 2014 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

Good morning everyone, and welcome to the end of the work week (for most of us). Every Friday, I like to infuse a little humor into everyone’s lives. Here you will find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line, and one line only. Enjoy!!

No no no, it’s okay Lebron take your time, your decision probably doesn’t effect anyone else but yourself…..

Do you think that Chandler Parsons wakes up every morning and throws darts at a picture of Lebron James’ face?

Side note that is almost related to what we are talking about: Do you think Chris Bosh knows he is the ugliest man in the world??

All you could muster up was 41 consecutive scoreless inning pitched, Clayton Kershaw??

Man do you suck.

I just want to say something, I’m gonna put this out there, if you like it you can keep it and if u don’t just throw it right back, “I am ready to take Masahiro Tanaka’s spot in the Yankees rotation.”

Still wondering how someone can win a fight in just 16 seconds???

I would explain it to you, but I figured I’d just let Ronda Rousey show you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kp1iYmbWCo

Wait, you are going to subject us to more soccer??

NO!!!!!!!!

Which was worse, watching a 7-1 rout or watching probably the most poorly played World Cup Semifinal match in history resulting in 0 goals in 120 minutes??

Surprise Surprise, MLB has changed the format of The Home Run Derby….again.

They change The Home Run Derby more times than Richard Pryor changed wives (this guy got married 9 different times)!!!!

No story was more entertaining this past week than the fat bastard Yankees fan who is suing the Yankees and ESPN for $10 million because he decided to take a nap at a baseball game.

I’d continue to make fun of him, but I think his picture says it all:

Well this has been another edition of One Liner Fridays. I hope you enjoyed them. If you have a One Liner of your own you’d like to add, please leave one in the comment section below. Thanks for reading!!

One-Liner Fridays

May 16, 2014May 16, 2014 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

Every Friday I like to infuse a little humor into everyone’s day. Here you will find a one-liner on a topic from this past week. These gems will be one line and one line only (we’re gonna dance to one song and one song only). Enjoy.

Aaron Hernandez is the 2014 version of OJ Simpson….only dumber.

If I had essentially gotten away with double murder, I wouldn’t commit another murder to cover-up the first 2 murders that I already got away with; I would lay low for the REST OF MY LIFE.

Anyone else want Donald Sterling to go away?

Yea, me too, so here’s what we’re going to do: stop talking about him.

Michael Sam is living proof of something I say every day; everything is about money.

Unbelievably hypocritically, Michael Sam has decided to do a reality tv show about his path to the NFL as a gay player because, HE JUST WANTS TO BE SEEN AS A FOOTBALL PLAYER AND NOTHING ELSE.

With Marlin’s pitcher, Jose Fernandez, adding to the long list of pitchers needing tommy john surgery, MLB teams should just offer the surgery as an option on draft day.

Phil Jackson at the plate, and the pitch, he swings, and misses.

You know it’s bad when Phil Jackson can’t even convince his protégé to come work for him.

Now, Phil Jackson will be scouring middle schools across the country for his next coach.

I happen to like Stan Van Gundy as a coach, but you picked Detroit over Golden State?

Really?!?!

Must be the weather in Detroit that lured him in.

So let me get this straight, Johnny Manziel has the most jersey sales in the NFL since April 1st, people are actually excited and talking about the Cleveland Browns (for the 1st time in eternity), and in turn the organization will make more money, and you Jimmy Haslam, the owner of The Cleveland Browns, decide to tell Manziel to ‘act like a backup?!?!’

That makes about as much sense as the NCAA bylaws.

Oh yeah, there are hockey playoffs going on, I almost forgot.

In all seriousness, although I am not a New York Rangers fan, I fully appreciated the comeback that they pulled off to come back from being down 3 games to 1 to the Pittsburgh Penguins.

I’m sure that Martin St. Louis will give it his all throughout the rest of these playoffs for himself, his teammates, and most importantly his mother.

This has been another edition of One-Liner Fridays. If you have a One-Liner of your own, please feel free to leave them in the comment section below. Thanks.

Wednesday’s Quick Hitter

April 30, 2014 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ 3 Comments

Today I will be giving you my knee-jerk reaction to Robinson Cano’s return to Yankee Stadium. As most of you already know, Yankee fans booed Robinson Cano last night in Yankee Stadium. Here is my straight to the point, quick hitter:

Let me preface this by saying I am and have always been a die-hard Yankees fan my entire life. I root for them day in and day out, so I am definitely a Yankees fan. That intricate, little 3-letter word though is very interesting; fan. There are many different kinds of fans. I am cut from a different cloth from the majority of fans. I am able to remove myself from the ignorance that most fans blind themselves with. Let me start with the facts regarding Robinson Cano and his departure from The New York Yankees. The Yankees were only willing to offer him a 7 year, $175 million contract. Yeah….ONLY $175 million right? I say only because the contract Cano ended up accepting, as most of you already know, was the 10 year, $240 million deal offered to him by The Seattle Mariners. Here is where most fans get confused and make themselves look stupid (very stupid). Sports is Robinson Cano’s profession. Sports is a business to Robinson Cano (and many others around the world). Some athletes care about a combination of winning and money, while others care only about the latter. To that I say, ummmm okay. Robinson Cano along with every other professional athlete in the world has the right to choose the higher contract if they want to, even if it means he is leaving everyone’s precious Yankees. He can go and play wherever he wants for however much he wants and it won’t and shouldn’t effect me in any way shape or form. I understand the attachment that people have with their teams, but everyone needs to get off their high horse and stop acting like they would stay with the Yankees and sacrifice $65 Million!! Robinson Cano’s choice was simple to understand. He cares less about having the chance to win a World Series (or even make the playoffs..sorry Seattle) and obviously cares way more about money. And you know what, that’s okay. Yankee fans should not have booed Robinson Cano. Personally, I find it pretty classless and pathetic. First of all, the ignorant fans who say, “we don’t need him, and we are better off without him” are full of a word I’d rather not use today. Robinson Cano is one of the best 2nd basemen in the Major Leagues on both sides of the ball no matter what you think of his decision to leave the Yankees. Second of all, fans needs to wake up! I said it before and I’ll say it again: Robinson Cano chose the money above all else, and that’s okay! Robinson, if you somehow read this (wishful thinking I know), as a Yankees fan I want to say thank you very much for your tremendous contributions as a New York Yankee, and I wish you the best of luck in Seattle.

Thank you for reading and leave a comment in the section below.

One Liner Friday’s

September 27, 2013September 27, 2013 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. After a 3 week break, I’m back!! Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in One Line and One Line only. Enjoy!!

All I have to say about the Jacksonville Jaguars idea to give any fans who purchase tickets to their game this weekend 2 free beers is: MMMMMMMMMMM BEER.

And, where can I buy some Jag’s tickets?

I wish everyone would understand that this 10 year/$305 million number Robinson Cano is “asking” for is just a bunch of white smoke.

No one is going to give him more than 7 years/$196 million (which is still absurd but it’s quite a bit less then $305), I mean the guy literally walks to 1st base on groundballs.

Hey Jay-Z, I know you like money because it ain’t a thang but stop trying to steamroll The Yankees and let’s get real.

Speaking of The Yankees, let’s get serious.

Thursday night marked the last time the best closer of all-time, Mariano Rivera, would ever step foot on the mound in Yankees Stadium.

His career is unparalleled and is one of the finest human beings to ever play the game of baseball.

Good luck filling those shoes David Robertson.

Andy Pettite is also hangin ’em up after this season, making his final start this weekend in Houston.

He had a very solid career and will be missed in the Yankees organization as well.

Let me preface the next few statements by saying I Love The New York Jets.

But, they are NOT as good as everyone thinks.

I repeat, they are not very good.

The Defense is very good, but this is still a 6 or 7 win team at best, and for people to think they are going to make the playoffs all of a sudden because they are 2-1 is RIDICULOUS!!

Oh they beat The Tampa Bay Buccaneers and The Buffalo Bills, both at home, yeah you’re right they’re great what was I thinking?!?!

Is it awkward for The Sacramento Kings organization to have Shaquille O’ Neal be part owner now considering he called them The Sacramento Queens back in the day??

I hate Floyd Mayweather Jr. with a passion!!

But, he is the best in the world right now, so you gotta give him credit where it’s due.

Bye Bye Bud Selig, you will not be missed.

I think he wanted to retire before Major League Baseball’s squeaky clean name got tied to Steroids, haha.

RG3 says he doesn’t know how to slide, and to that I say: What are you retarded?

Way to grow some cojones Carlos Gomez!!

I mean Brian McCann would have kicked your ass, but at least you didn’t back down or hide behind an umpire in a scrum like Chris Johnson.

Dwyane Wade and Kevin Durant don’t have real beef with each other, rather they are in cahoots in some major marketing scheme….just wait and see.

So The New York Knicks and Brooklyn Nets are going to split the 2015 All-Star Game Festivities right down the middle???

Yeah, nothing says heated rivalry like a little sharing.

Have you ever seen someone take a bigger beating in a victory before in your life?

Don’t know what I’m talking about just see exhibit A: UFC Champion Jon Jones’ face after defeating Alexander Gustafsson.

Someone let The New York Football Giants know what time their game is this week because I don’t think they knew last week; that’s why they didn’t show up!

Ouch!

Have you ever watched (or not watched) a more pathetic display of football in your life?

Maybe they’ll put forth a better effort in Kansas City this week….eh probably not.

Yeah, we believe you Colin Kaepernick when you say you don’t care what anybody has to say about you.

So is that why you SAVED AND FAVORTIED all of your hate tweets online last week?

Idiot.

Well, this has been another edition of One Liner Friday’s. I hope you enjoyed them!! If you have your own One Liner’s you want to leave me, please write them in the comment section below. Thanks.

One Liner Friday’s

September 6, 2013September 6, 2013 ~ Dave Ettinger ~ 2 Comments

Hello and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Peyton Manning is very very very very very good at football.

Hey Flacco, I hope you had your notepad and pencil out while Mr. Manning was taking you to school (nice contract Ravens).

Seriously though, everyone should stop doubting Manning and his arm strength and his age and should just realize that he is one of the best to ever do it (NO, NOT 6, 7, 7 IS THE NUMBER!).

Something About Mary?

Oh Yankees, every time I think you’re going to return to form and storm your way into the playoffs, you go and do something like that.

In case you missed it, Big Mo blew a save (obviously against the Red Sox) and then who else but Joba the hut would go on to lose the game.

I still think the Yankees land the final Wild Card spot in the playoffs this year, watch.

I’ve said it about 10 times now, and I will say it again, Floyd Mayweather Jr. will be handed his first ever loss by Canelo Alvarez on Saturday September 14th.

I am looking forward to 50 Cent and Justin Bieber performing for Mayweather as he walks to the ring though (how stupid is that).

Nobody thinks that Cary Williams wanted to fight Riley Cooper because he is a blatant racist do they??

Because that would be absurd!

Hey, uh, Geno Smith, we passed on you just like everyone else in the 1st round of the draft, and we are actually going to play Mark ‘the worst quarterback in the history of the world’ Sanchez over you, but now that ummm, oh man this is awkward, now that he happens to be hurt THIS IS YOUR OFFENSE AND IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN!!

Yeah, I think he believes you and he’s buying the vote of confidence.

And if he’s not I certainly am.

It has been one of the most spectacular and impressive careers in the history of sports, but Roger Federer is officially on the Decline.

2013 became the first year he hasn’t reached a single Grand Slam Final since 2002 (back before he was the R-FED).

His career is not over, and I think he will make a comeback and have a nice showing in 2014 before he rides off into the sunset, but this is the first of many tributes to one of the finest athletes of all time.

Hey, uh, Andy Murray, I know you’re really busy being the ugliest man in the world, but a player of your stature should never lose in straight sets in the quarterfinals.

You know, instead of suspending Ryan Braun for the rest of the season, they should have just suspended him for 4.5 innings.

No?

Oh, that only works for privileged stuck up little children in College Football, my bad.

Who gives out a suspension of half of a game?!?!?

That’s like taking a convicted felon and saying, you know what we’re going to do, forget the whole prison thing, we are just going to give you about 25 minutes in the pink timeout chair in the corner (obviously the timeout chair is pink).

Thanks for reading everyone, and if you have your own one liner’s that you want to post, please feel free to do so in the comment section below. Enjoy your weekend everyone!!

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