One-Liner Fridays

 

Helllllooooo sports fans!!  It’s Friday again.  I know you thought it would never get here, but the weekend is right around the corner.  I will get your weekend started a little early with a weekly segment I like to call: One-Liner Fridays.  You know how it goes.  Today, I will wrap up the past week in sports in One Line and One Line only.  Enjoy!!

 

You know the dog days of summer have hit you square in the face when GOLF is the most exciting thing on TV.

 

Oh no wait, I forgot, you can always turn on some WNBA action……

 

So I heard some clown on ESPN radio last night talking about how betting on the Mets to win the World Series this year (at 200 to 1 odds) wouldn’t be the dumbest thing that has ever happened before…….NO????

 

I mean I’m no rocket scientist, but I’m pretty sure laying that bet would put you in the running for dumbest person ever.

 

So Chad Johnson (yes Ochocinco), is playing in the CFL now, and he just scored his first touchdown the other day, but if you haven’t seen it check out the ref who is clearly not the hugger Derek Jeter is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EGDt07j7sA

 

I know I know, everybody just LOVES Lebron James again, but as you know from my article I know everyone read (https://davetalkssports.com/2014/07/11/lebron-james-returns-to-cleveland/), I’m not buying the bullcrap salad that he’s selling.

 

But seriously, Lebron just placed first in the Harris Poll, which determines the most popular athlete in the United States, I bet The Joker wishes he could figure out how to go from the villain to everyone’s hero in just 1 year.

 

Which brings me to another basketball player, Carmelo Anthony, also known as the most generous and most selfless man in the world.

 

He’s not in it for the money man, he’s all about pay cuts.

 

This man took $7 million less on a 5-year, $129 million contract, if that is not a sacrifice that screams TEAM than I don’t know what is.

 

More basketball??

 

Okay.

 

I only have one thing to say to the Los Angeles Lakers: “HAHAHAHAHAHA….Carlos Boozer….HAHAHAHAHAHA….Jeremy Lin….HAHAHAHAHAHA….okay maybe that was more than one thing, but you get the point.

 

When Tracy McGrady got signed by the Sugar Land Skeeters (insert immature laughter here), I figured he would have a long, illustrious career….and I was right, he pitched 6 and 2/3 innings, recorded 1 strikeout, and then said I think I’ve had enough.

 

So he retired.

 

Major League Baseball definitely handled Derek Jeter’s final All-Star Game very tastefully, but man is that game terrible.

 

If it wasn’t for Derek Jeter, I think there would have been 4 viewers of that game (yea, I said 4).

 

The only thing worse than the All-Star Game itself is the Home Run Derby, that right there is 4 hours of my life that I can NEVER get back again.

 

Here is a simple formula of how to fix the Home Run Derby: you give Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, and Sammy Sosa a bunch of steroids and give them each their own personalized club (you know like a caveman club) and watch them bash 600 foot home runs for an hour, this way everyone’s happy and these clowns get 15 more minutes of fame….oh, and feel free to throw Jose Canseco in there if you want.

 

Tiger Tiger Woods y’all is back, it’s crazy how much one man can effect an entire sport.

 

So now that the worst time of the year in sports is upon us is it too early to ask everyone’s favorite question: ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!?! 

 

 

This has been another edition of One-Liner Fridays.  I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have a One-Liner of your own please post it in the comment section below.

 

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!