One Liner Friday’s


Hello and welcome to another edition of One Liner Fridays. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Hey Jason Dufner, you just won your 1st Major, The PGA Championship, you can smile now.

Have you ever seen a more emotionless man in the entire world??

Man, the most emotion he showed was in the butt slap he gave his wife right after he won the tournament (awesome).

Sound the alarm, call the National Guard, alert the President, Tom Brady stubbed his toe!!

I’ll have whatever Alfonso Soriano is having.

I still don’t understand why the Jets are being talked about, they are going to be the worst team in the NFL this season.

However, everyone is missing the point (as usual) with Rex Ryan’s “brutal” comment about Geno Smith.

Rex obviously knows he’s on the hot seat (his ass might as well be on fire), and the only way to save his job is to stick with ‘his guy’ in Sanchez and go down with the ship.

It’s partly his pride for sticking with Sanchez, but if Sanchez magically figures it out maybe Rex is employed come next August (he figures there’s no way he can win anything with a rookie).

Hey Tiger, the fairway’s that way

Who’s pumped for football??

Hey RG3, do you mind if we create a controversy between you and your coach out of absolutely nothing?

Heyyyy, Major League Baseball finally threw out their black and white TV, took their corn cob pipe out of their mouths, sold their transistor radio, and has decided to join us in the 21st century.

For those of you who don’t know, MLB will be instituting instant replay in the near future.

The format for manager challenges is not even close to the right way to do this, but it is a step in the right direction.

Are there enough of you out there watching baseball to realize how unbelievable of a season Miguel Cabrera is having?

He won the Triple Crown last year, and he is putting that season to shame (enjoy history).

Clayton Kershaw = Beast!

Greg Jennings needs shut his trap, running his mouth about a former teammate who just happens to be the best quarterback in the league is nota good idea.

Remember when Don Mattingly was almost fired and then the Dodgers went 40-8 over their next 48 games??

Say thank you to Yasiel.

And finally, I know some of you were worried but yes, Johnny Manziel is still an idiot.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s


Hello everyone and welcome to another stellar edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!

I’d say Ron Metta Artest World Peace should say bye bye to LaLa Land, but clearly he has a permanent residence there.

Seriously though, the Knicks should sign him since he’s the gritty type of player they need.

As long as he promises not to eat anyone’s face than it will be a good pickup.

Why does everyone keep telling me how clean cut and ‘proper’ the Patriots franchise is?

The Patriots cornerback (Alfonzo Dennard) who was just arrested for the second time (for a DUI this time), was drafted by the Patriots just a week AFTER he was arrested for assaulting an officer.

What in the wild world of all things that are holy is Ilya Kovalchuk thinking?

This man just retired from the NHL at the age of 30 and left $77 million on the table (yeah I’m sure he won’t regret that move down the road).

Speaking of Russians, The Brooklyn Nets signed wild hair-do man Andrei Kirilenko to a 2 year $6 million contract.

It’s official, the Net’s are no longer “making splashes”, they’re flat out doing cannonballs in the middle of the pool.

By the way, The Nets Russian owner Mikhail Prokhorov is obviously going to buy fellow Russian Andrei Kirilenko an extra special Christmas present this year considering he left about $7 million on the table in free agency.

I’m just saying.

The Cleveland Cavaliers are the next victims of the I think Andrew Bynum can play basketball movement.

Man, it’s going to be embarrassing when Major League Baseball tries to suspend players again, and they come back with a handful of lint, again.

I don’t care what his MRI says, The Yankees brought Derek Jeter back too early, again.

You heard it here first, Miguel Cabrera will win back to back Triple Crown’s this year.

Yasiel Puig not being an All-Star makes about as much sense as an Interstate Highway in Hawaii (they really have those).

Dwight Howard to the Rockets?

So he wants to continue NOT filling the shoes of the game’s all-time great centers?

Want the list?

You got it: Shaquille O’Neal, George Mikan, Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, and now Hakeem Olajuwon.

Yeah, that shouldn’t tarnish your already sterling legacy.

You all realize that Anderson Silva still believes he won that fight on Saturday night right?

How happy does it make you to watch someone so cocky and so full of themselves get knocked the bleep out?

If you haven’t seen it just click here:

Who knew you could be fat and still win Wimbledon?

Apparently, Marion Bartoli was the only person who possessed such knowledge.

Andy Murray wins his first Wimbledon and then proceeds to high five and hug like 85 people before forgetting to acknowledge his own mother.

Way to man up with those bulls Rex Ryan.

I’ve never seen Rex move that fast before, he looked like a cheetah chasing down his prey the way he skyrocketed up that fence.

Nice face Nick Swisher.

How about you do your job that you get paid millions for and trot down to first base there chief.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Can The New York Jets Do Anything Right?

WHAT?? The Jets did WHAT?!?!?! This has become a common response as a Jets fan lately. I will NEVER understand the New York Jets. They literally do the exact opposite of what they should be doing at all times. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, the first round of the 2013 NFL draft took place on Thursday night. The Jets as usual made a debacle out of a pretty simple process. Let’s delve right in shall we? As bad as the Jets were last year, their strength was definitely their defense. Even without Darrelle Revis last season the Jets secondary was ranked 2nd in the NFL (in terms of passing yards given up). Plus, all the Jets do is draft defensive tackles that don’t amount to anything. However, this year I figured with a new general manager and the glaring need for offensive players, the Jets might actually draft with a purpose. They have more holes to fill offensively than any other team in the league, and with the 9th and 13th overall picks you could plug up some of those holes right away. So what did they do with their 2 first round picks??? They drafted 2 defensive players of course. What else did you expect? Usually when it comes to sports, I can put my thinking cap on and figure out why something happened. I, for the life of me can not figure out these draft picks made by the New York Jets. The only thing I can think of is that the Jets are actively trying to be a sideshow to stay in the news and remain profitable, but even that doesn’t make any sense. I honestly can’t comprehend the decisions made by this franchise. They are clearly in rebuilding mode, but I think everyone knows that except for them. Let me tell you what they should have done last night:

You have the 9th and 13th pick in a draft that is not filled with an abundance of superstars, especially offensively. Your only need defensively is either a linebacker or a defensive end that can really get after the quarterback. Offensively you are in need of a quarterback, a running back, at least one wide receiver, a tight end, and at least one offensive linemen. With the 9th pick they should have drafted either of the players who were selected 10th and 11th last night; Chance Warmack or D.J. Fluker. Both played at Alabama on what was the best offensive line in the nation last year. Both are NFL ready and can instantly provide protection for your quarterback and improve your run game. But no, instead the Jets draft a cornerback (who is coming off labrum surgery, oh no I’m sorry he’s coming off FIVE SURGERIES) to immediately replace Darrelle Revis. Good idea!! His name by the way is Dee Milliner. If healthy he can be pretty good, but cornerback is simply not the Jets primary concern. Then what transpired at the 13th pick can only be described as a train wreck in slow motion. Have I mentioned that the Jets need offensive players? No? Okay good. What they should have done is trade the 13th pick for 2 picks at the end of the first round or into the beginning of the second round. There weren’t any offensive skill players that you could have justified taking with the 13th pick. So, if they had traded down, they could have drafted any combination of a running back, a wide receiver, a tight end, or a quarterback. I simply don’t understand taking a defensive tackle for the third consecutive draft. And if you ask me I don’t think Sheldon Richardson is even the best player at his position from this draft. Do these drafts seem eerily familiar to you? Find theory below:

Ah Rex Ryan, how I hate thee. I don’t know if it’s true, but the consensus is that Ryan was the “mastermind” behind these picks. If that’s the case this infuriates me more than I can ever express in words. Rex Ryan isn’t going to be the coach after this coming season. So why in the world would he be allowed to handpick players for the Jets? Something stinks here, but I’m not sure what it is. For the Jets sake and for the sake of Jets fans everywhere, I hope they draft a slew of offensive players with the rest of their picks. If they don’t I might have to jump ship and find a new team to root for. I’m only half kidding because loyalty in sports is literally all you have as a fan. But let me tell you that as each day passes it is becoming exponentially harder to root for the Jets. Like, love, or hate the Jets draft choices so far? Tell me about it in the comment section below….

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Let The Madness Begin!!

Gotcha!! You all thought this was a college basketball story didn’t you? Well, sorry to get your hopes up but it’s not. This article is all about NFL’s Free Agency, which begins today at 4:00 P.M. Come 4 O’ Clock teams will begin signing free agents in hopes to build a championship contender for the future. Some NFL teams couldn’t wait and started making moves Monday afternoon. Most notably, Anquan Boldin and Percy Harvin were both traded. Anquan Boldin was traded from the Baltimore Ravens to the San Francisco 49ers for a 6th round draft pick. Percy Harvin was traded from the Minnesota Vikings to the Seattle Seahawks for a 1st round draft pick this year as well as 2 other draft picks. If you ask me, I don’t really understand the Ravens’ thought process here. Why in the world would you trade the guy who just helped you win a Super Bowl for a 6th round pick? To save yourself 2 million dollars a year? If that’s the case, solid move Baltimore. You’ll see just how good Joe Flacco is without his most dependable wide receiver. The big winner in this situation is the San Francisco 49ers. They pick up a big physical receiver to play on the opposite side of the field as Vernon Davis and Michael Crabtree. Happy Birthday Colin Kaepernick. Ahhhh I get it. It has nothing to do with the fact that Boldin refused to take a pay cut (rightfully so). It’s because John Harbaugh won a Super Bowl, and now he wants to make sure his little brother Jim wins one next year. Now, I’m sure that the Seattle Seahawks will have something to say about that next year. With these two trades, the NFC West has become the best division in football. The Seahawks gave up an arm and a leg for Percy Harvin, but this trade is clearly a perfect fit for them if he stays healthy. Think about it, all they are missing is a big play receiver. Last season prior to his injury, Harvin had 62 receptions for 677 yards (in only 9 games) on a team with a less than stellar quarterback. I’d say that’s exactly the type of production the Seahawks need to get over the hump. Harvin’s not too shabby in the kick return game either.

The New York Jets certainly made the biggest move of the day. Hell, this might be the move of the year! The Jets signed David Garrard as their backup quarterback. Their hope is that he can compete with Mark Sanchez for the starting job. To this I say nothing. I say nothing because it doesn’t matter. Garrard is not going to push Sanchez to another level, and if Sanchez falters Garrard is not going to come in and set the world on fire. I am pretty indifferent on the move, but I’m sure that Rex Ryan is sending save the dates to all his friends for the day after the Super Bowl. Oh yeah, they think they’ll be in Disney World, but actually they’ll be on their couch just like the rest of us. The actual news regarding the Jets is the status of Darrelle Revis. Revis must be traded, it is as simple as that. The question is what can they get for him in return? Due to the ACL injury he is coming off of they won’t get top value for him right now. The Jets would be taking a huge risk though if they hold on to him for this season. They would end up paying him plus they wouldn’t get anything in return in this years draft. Plus, he could play poorly due to the injury or even worse he could re-injure himself (then they would really be screwed). I think the Jets should get as much as possible for Revis before this years draft and before they are obligated to pay him another penny.

No matter what the Jets decide to do with Darrelle Revis, today should be a busy and fun filled day around the NFL. Buckle up your seat belts and let’s go for a ride. Check back tomorrow to see the grades I dish out for each teams major free agent signings.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

The UnNatural Disaster that is the NY JETS

Hey let’s hop in our time machine and go back to 2009. Come on, this will be fun. So here we are beating quality teams on the road in the postseason. We come one win shy of a trip to the Super Bowl, but it was certainly a successful season. We have a top 5 rushing attack, top 5 defense, very good receivers, and an up and coming quarterback who’s confidence is building game by game. Our coach is a defensive minded coach who seems to know how to rally the troops every Sunday. Quick let us fast forward to the present day. We are in my estimation the most poorly run organization in the NFL, and we are the laughing stock of newspapers and sports talk shows nationwide. I’m going to tell you how we got from where we were to how we became the most entertaining circus since Barnum and Baileys. Then I’ll break down step by step what we need to do to get back to Super Bowl contention.
After consecutive trips to the AFC Championship in ’09 and ’10, you’d think the Jets would have a blueprint for success in their back pocket somewhere. Well someone from the Patriots obviously infiltrated the Jets organization as a spy and did that flashy memory erase thingy from Men In Black. Yo, Tommy Lee Jones is looking old as hell isn’t he? Which brings me to Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzanegger. Guys, you’re like 100! Stop making action flicks! You guys look ridiculous! Anyway, here’s why the Jets have crumbled over the past two seasons. Mark Sanchez is Alex Smith. They are both mentally weak, and they are at the peak of their potential; game managers. If Sanchez is going to be your guy you need to cater to his needs. Which is really the Jets biggest problem. If you need to have a perfect roster built around your QB just to be successful, then Sanchez isn’t your guy. You want my professional opinion? Sanchez is a bum. A franchise QB should be your captain and leader! He shouldn’t sulk and let his play circle the drain because your owner brought in Tim Tebow. That is the only time I will bring up that guy in this entire article because he’s obviously horrendous and isn’t worth wasting my breath on. Clearly not a football move, clearly for $ and front page headlines, blah blah blah we all know this already. Somebody stuff a sock in Skip Bayless’ mouth and tape it shut please. He obviously gets paid to play devils advocate because even he cant believe the garbage that spews out his mouth. Anyway, the Jets need someone to smack them silly and then sit them down in front of a mirror. If it sounds like a duck, and walks like a duck, then it’s probably a, yup you got it, a duck. Rex Ryan needs to get fired because he’s not the guy. If you’re not going to fire him then at least tell him to shut his trap. Mark Sanchez is also not the guy, so why don’t we extend his freakin contract for no good reason. I mean come on!! The jets have literally done the exact opposite of what they should be doing. And as if last year couldn’t have gone any worse, why don’t we express to the rest of the league that we WANT to trade Darrelle Revis? Yup sure great idea Mr new General Manager guy, lets find the only way possible to get less value out of him. He only missed almost an entire season with a serious injury. And he’s only about the most stubborn guy in the world when it comes to contract negotiations. So lets please trade him for a 5th round pick and a bucket of chicken. All my Seinfeld fans out there got that one. What they should have done was trade him when his value was highest. Unfortunately that time isn’t now so they need to keep him until after the season starts, let him play well, and then trade him for as many pieces as possible. For all of you Jets fans out there that drink the Rex Ryan kool-aid, we are going to do this because we are NOT GOOD and we are in rebuilding mode. Dumb Fan #1: We are? Really? Me: Uh yea we suck. On that note, we need to start from scratch and rebuild this franchise. We need to get a bunch of draft picks for Revis and start to clear cap space for 2 years from now. Rex Ryan and Mark Sanchez need to be fired and we need to start filling all of the holes on the roster. Those holes include : at least 2 WR’s, 2 RB’s, a TE, 2 O-Lineman, and a pass rush. Oo yea I almost forgot, we also need a QB, but that’s just a tiny little detail. How silly of me. So, as anyone with eyes can see, we have a lot of work ahead of us before we can think about the playoffs. Lets get to work then. Think you have the answer to the Jets problems?? Leave your ideas in the comment section below…..