Tag: Johnny Manziel

One-Liner Fridays

~ Dave Ettinger ~ Leave a comment

Image

 

Every Friday I like to infuse a little humor into everyone’s day.  Here you will find a one-liner on a topic from this past week.  These gems will be one line and one line only (we’re gonna dance to one song and one song only).  Enjoy.

 

 

Aaron Hernandez is the 2014 version of OJ Simpson….only dumber.

If I had essentially gotten away with double murder, I wouldn’t commit another murder to cover-up the first 2 murders that I already got away with; I would lay low for the REST OF MY LIFE.

Anyone else want Donald Sterling to go away?

Yea, me too, so here’s what we’re going to do: stop talking about him.

Michael Sam is living proof of something I say every day; everything is about money.

Unbelievably hypocritically, Michael Sam has decided to do a reality tv show about his path to the NFL as a gay player because, HE JUST WANTS TO BE SEEN AS A FOOTBALL PLAYER AND NOTHING ELSE. 

With Marlin’s pitcher, Jose Fernandez, adding to the long list of pitchers needing tommy john surgery, MLB teams should just offer the surgery as an option on draft day.

Phil Jackson at the plate, and the pitch, he swings, and misses.

You know it’s bad when Phil Jackson can’t even convince his protégé to come work for him.

Now, Phil Jackson will be scouring middle schools across the country for his next coach.

I happen to like Stan Van Gundy as a coach, but you picked Detroit over Golden State?

Really?!?!

Must be the weather in Detroit that lured him in.

So let me get this straight, Johnny Manziel has the most jersey sales in the NFL since April 1st, people are actually excited and talking about the Cleveland Browns (for the 1st time in eternity), and in turn the organization will make more money, and you Jimmy Haslam, the owner of The Cleveland Browns, decide to tell Manziel to ‘act like a backup?!?!’

That makes about as much sense as the NCAA bylaws.

Oh yeah, there are hockey playoffs going on, I almost forgot.

In all seriousness, although I am not a New York Rangers fan, I fully appreciated the comeback that they pulled off to come back from being down 3 games to 1 to the Pittsburgh Penguins.

I’m sure that Martin St. Louis will give it his all throughout the rest of these playoffs for himself, his teammates, and most importantly his mother.

 

 

This has been another edition of One-Liner Fridays.  If you have a One-Liner of your own, please feel free to leave them in the comment section below.  Thanks.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

 

2014 NFL Draft: 1 Day Down, 178 To Go

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

Image

 

Round 1 of the 2014 NFL Draft is now officially in the books.  It was a very interesting 1st round that came with a few trades, a few surprises, but most things played out as expected.  Over the past 3 months, draft experts have been laying out any and all possibilities for the outcome of the NFL Draft.  Many have been suggesting that The Houston Texans could do a multitude of things with the #1 overall pick in the draft.  Some have suggested that they should select Johnny Manziel because they need a quarterback and he played his college ball in the state of Texas while some have suggested trading the asset of the #1 overall pick, move back in the draft, and collect an extra set of picks.  And the majority of people have implored the Texans to simply to the right thing and select the best player in the draft.  And that is what they did.  They selected Jadeveon Clowney because he is a “freak of nature”.  At his size, Clowney is listed at 6’5 1/4″ and 266 pounds, his speed, size, and power are unmatched.  He posted a very impressive 40-yard dash time of 4.53 seconds, the fastest of any defensive lineman in this years draft.  I believe this was the right selection by The Texans, but don’t be surprised if Khalil Mack is the best defensive player to come out of this years draft.  Oh no wait, he was drafted by The Oakland Raiders so never mind.

 

The first surprise to come out of the 1st round was the selection of Blake Bortles 3rd overall by The Jacksonville Jaguars.  I understand that he is your prototypical quarterback, standing 6’5″ and weighing in at 232 pounds, and he played his college football in the state of Florida, and Jacksonville desperately needs a quarterback, BUT I think that it was a reach taking Bortles this early.  The 2nd quarterback selected was Johnny Manziel at #22, so the Jaguars definitely could have capitalized on having the #3 pick by trading back in the draft, still drafting Bortles, and picking up an extra pick or 2 in the 2nd or 3rd round. 

 

The first trade occurred at the 4th overall pick in the draft, where The Buffalo Bills traded up from the 9th pick to acquire, who I believe is the best wide receiver in the draft, Sammy Watkins.  The Bills traded their 9th pick this year and their 1st and 5th round picks in the 2015 to The Cleveland Browns for the 4th overall pick.  Personally, I like this move because I feel that Watkins has the potential to be one of the best wide outs in the NFL for the next 8-10 years.  This is a move that I have been talking about for weeks, only I was hopeful that The New York Jets (having 1,278 draft picks this year) would have taken advantage of such an opportunity.  Instead, The Jets drafted Calvin Pryor, a hard hitting safety from Louisville.  I like Pryor, and while I believe he is the best safety in the draft, I would have been much happier with a cornerback (Darqueze Dennard) or a wide receiver (Brandin Cooks) at the 18th overall pick in the draft.  I believe that John Idzik was thinking about position depth in this years draft when he made this selection.  There is plenty of talent at cornerback and wide receiver, but the talent at safety is scarce.  Also, The Jets do have another 11 picks in this years draft, so I’m sure they will fulfill their needs at wide receiver, cornerback, tight end, and most importantly WIDE RECEIVER.  Did I say wide receiver?? 

 

The Jets crosstown riv…..oh wait they play in the same building and they’re not rivals, but anyway, The New York Giants did select a wide receiver with the 12th overall pick in the draft.  They chose a very talented playmaker in Odell Beckham Jr. from LSU.  I think The Giants should have drafted an offensive lineman here, because you can have all the talent you want at wide receiver, but if you can’t protect your quarterback, and provide him with enough time to throw the ball, then your talent at wide receiver will be all for naught.  However, you can’t solve all of your problems in 1 pick, so we will have to wait and see what The New York Giants do with their other 6 draft picks. 

 

Ah yes, which brings us to little Johnny football, aka Johnny Manziel.  Manziel “dropped” down to the 22nd pick in the 1st round.  ESPN kept showing his face on the screen as if we were supposed to feel bad for him for sitting in the spot light for 3 hours.  I think he and his millions will be just fine (as he so clearly let us know by rubbing his fingers together on his way on stage as if to say “show me the money”).  And despite all the money he did lose by not being drafted until 22nd, he did not get drafted into a bad situation.  If you look at all of the possible teams that could have drafted him, The Minnesota Vikings or Jacksonville Jaguars, he actually landed in the best situation.  The Browns offensive line isn’t terrible and Manziel will have 2 viable options at pass catching positions (Josh Gordon and Jordan Cameron).  Having a reliable running back would help Manziel out, but it’s a better situation than his fellow competitor Blake Bortles is in. 

 

All-in-all I think it was an entertaining 1st round with a lot of interesting picks and moves.  I do have a gripe with the NFL though, with the way the draft is run.  Let’s use the very first pick of the entire draft as an example.  The Houston Texans have known they were going to pick #1 overall for quite some time now.  They obviously had decided before 8:00 p.m. last night that they were not going to trade their pick and they were going to select Jadeveon Clowney.  So, why in the world did it take them nearly 7 minutes to announce their selection?!?!?!  I’ll tell you why.  Now, I don’t want to get all conspiracy theory on everybody, but the NFL is a money making business just like any business in the world.  I have said many times before, and I will say it again: Everything is about money.  The longer the draft takes, the more money the NFL makes.  To keep watching the 2014 NFL Draft, you can tune in to ESPN tonight at 7:00 p.m. and coverage will continue at 8:00 p.m. on ESPN2.  Enjoy!!

 

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Thank you for reading and leave a comment in the section below.

            

           

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

20130816-053208.jpg

Hello and welcome to another edition of One Liner Fridays. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Hey Jason Dufner, you just won your 1st Major, The PGA Championship, you can smile now.

Have you ever seen a more emotionless man in the entire world??

Man, the most emotion he showed was in the butt slap he gave his wife right after he won the tournament (awesome).

Sound the alarm, call the National Guard, alert the President, Tom Brady stubbed his toe!!

I’ll have whatever Alfonso Soriano is having.

I still don’t understand why the Jets are being talked about, they are going to be the worst team in the NFL this season.

However, everyone is missing the point (as usual) with Rex Ryan’s “brutal” comment about Geno Smith.

Rex obviously knows he’s on the hot seat (his ass might as well be on fire), and the only way to save his job is to stick with ‘his guy’ in Sanchez and go down with the ship.

It’s partly his pride for sticking with Sanchez, but if Sanchez magically figures it out maybe Rex is employed come next August (he figures there’s no way he can win anything with a rookie).

Hey Tiger, the fairway’s that way
——————->!!

Who’s pumped for football??

Hey RG3, do you mind if we create a controversy between you and your coach out of absolutely nothing?

Heyyyy, Major League Baseball finally threw out their black and white TV, took their corn cob pipe out of their mouths, sold their transistor radio, and has decided to join us in the 21st century.

For those of you who don’t know, MLB will be instituting instant replay in the near future.

The format for manager challenges is not even close to the right way to do this, but it is a step in the right direction.

Are there enough of you out there watching baseball to realize how unbelievable of a season Miguel Cabrera is having?

He won the Triple Crown last year, and he is putting that season to shame (enjoy history).

Clayton Kershaw = Beast!

Greg Jennings needs shut his trap, running his mouth about a former teammate who just happens to be the best quarterback in the league is nota good idea.

Remember when Don Mattingly was almost fired and then the Dodgers went 40-8 over their next 48 games??

Say thank you to Yasiel.

And finally, I know some of you were worried but yes, Johnny Manziel is still an idiot.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 2 Comments

a-rod-600-copy

Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

You guys want to hear about A-Rod or Johnny Manziel, or A-Rod, or Johnny Manziel, or A-Rod, or Johnny Manziel?

Tiger Woods seems to be trying things a little differently this time around, he decided to falter on Thursday instead of Sunday.

Adam Adam Scott y’all!!

It’s awesome to see football games being played again, but the preseason is about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop.

Dodgeball anyone?

Great movie.

Reports are saying that Plaxico Burress has shot himself in his other leg…no I’m just kidding, he tore his rotator cuff though (bye-bye career).

So, upon the return of A-Rod and Granderson, The Yankees still suck, so what do they do now?

Some are calling for C.C. Sabathia to get back on the Cheeseburger wagon and to that I say hell yes!

And people are asking what Yankees fans reaction will be when A-Rod steps to the plate in the house that Jeter built?

This is a simple question to answer, he will be booed initially, but the following reaction will be strictly tied to his performance.

Johnny Manziel represents everything I hate about the younger generation in the U.S.

He has been spoiled, and told he is better and more special than everyone else his entire life, oh and he has money.

That’s the trifecta of how to raise a douchebag right there, no wonder he’s the dumbest college football player of all time.

Here at GloboGym, we’re better than you, and we know it!

Man, I’m just full of Dodgeball references today.

Seriously though, you have to be some kind of special moron when you are a player of his caliber and you sign autographs for money and try to cover it up.

The Yankees bats have gone so cold they figured they could turn the stadium into an ice hockey rink.

Coming this winter: Hockey at Yankee Stadium!

The Devils will take on the Rangers on January 26th, and the Islanders will take on the Rangers on January 29th.

That Rangers vs. Islanders game will be pretty cool because it will take place at night under the lights.

Mark Sanchez vs. Geno Smith is like a play-in game in March Madness, the winner gets the right to get spanked by the #1 seed.

This week’s edition is short and sweet, but I hope you enjoyed it.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

20130802-062952.jpg

Hello everybody and welcome back to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

So do you think Sergio Garcia and Riley Cooper are best buds?

I think so, I think they hang out at each other’s house and try to come up with ways to alienate themselves and potentially ruin any success they may have ever created leading up to that very moment.

I am slightly disappointed that Michael Vick is taking this whole forgiveness route, I don’t know about you but I think Cooper deserves the “Old Michael Vick” treatment.

You know what I mean.

Inbee Park!!

Who?

Oh you know just a professional female golfer who’s playing for her 4th consecutive grand slam title.

I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.

Tiger shoots an opening round 66, making every putt under the sun at the Bridgestone Invitational.

This comes just a week after the Open Championship, where he couldn’t putt the ball into a garbage can if it was right in front of him.

SHUT UP BUCK SHOWALTER!!

For those of who didn’t see what he had to say about A-Rod and The Yankees, have no fear:

“If Bud (Selig) lets them get away with that, they’re under the luxury tax,” Showalter told USA Today. “If they can reset, they can spend again and I guarantee you in two years Matt Wieters is in New York. They’re the ones who signed him to that contract.”

Let them get away with that?

I’m sorry, did The Yankees ask A-Rod or anyone else on their team to do steroids?

Are The Yankees, or any team, complicit in the use of steroids?

Is Buck Showalter the biggest crybaby known to man?

It is amazing how big the target on their back is, and how this is only a “story” because it involves The Yankees.

They don’t boo the bad teams.

Alabama is clearly the best college football team in the country, but why does everyone get so riled up over preseason rankings?

Everyone understands that this is not the same roster from last season right?

Just checking.

How about we play the games and see what happens (or let a computer decide everything and not even bother; either way).

I love how everyone is writing Canelo Alvarez off before his fight with Floyd Mayweather, but as I’ve said before and I’ll say it again right now:
Canelo Alvarez will hand Floyd Mayweather his first professional loss of his career.

Isn’t it hysterical that Greg Oden, who was drafted 6 years ago and still hasn’t played even close to a full season in the NBA due to chronic injuries; get’s to choosethe team that will have the ‘privilege’ to pay him millions of dollars.

No, inmate #174954, you will no longer get airtime on my watch; thank you very much!

So, Kansas City Chief’s offensive coordinator is obviously messin’ with the same stuff Derek Rose is if he thinks Alex Smith is the best QB in the NFL.

I get it, he’s trying to build Smith’s confidence after it was trampled last season, but Smith is not even the best team in his division forget the whole league.

Let me end by saying that what Riley Cooper said is horrible.

It is obviously extremely insensitive, and I feel that that word (along with any slur towards anyone) has no place in society.

I’m here to bring levity and comedy (hopefully) to the world of sports, so please don’t take offense to anything I say or any pictures I may post even in regards to a sensitive situation.

Thanks for reading as always, and I hope you all enjoyed this weeks One Liners.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 2 Comments

20130719-054755.jpg

Hello and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. Here you will find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!!

Mark my words: Everyone at the Open Championship needs to watch out for Tiger Woods.

I know I know, that’s a really hard prediction to make, but I’m making it because he has found a nice rhythm and he’s got the putter working (he doesn’t lose when he putts well).

That’s a scientific fact!

Anchorman anyone?

The MLB All-Star Game is the only one of the major sports that I look forward to not watching.

It can’t be an exhibition and mean something at the SAME TIME!!

The HomeRun Derby is still cool though.

Watching human beings (albeit human beings on massive amounts of growth hormones) hit baseballs 500 feet never gets old.

Yoenis Cespedes is a beast!!

For those of who didn’t watch the ESPY’S (like me), you need to check out Lebron James’ outfit:

20130719-053946.jpg

Umm excuse me Mr. usher, can you help me find my seat?

Whatever happened to the regular old black tux?

So little Johnny Manziel is getting drunk, getting arrested, and is in the process of ruining his future, it sounds like he’ll fit right in in the NFL.

But, whatever you do John, just remember that NOBODY CARES!!

A-Rod says he’ll be back on the Yankees on Monday, I want to believe him, I just don’t.

Oh you want a $25 million dollar contract?

But you don’t have any major injuries?

Oh no I’m sorry I can’t give you a contract unless at least one of your body parts is falling apart.

What’s that, you do have knees that are deteriorating, by all means then J.R. Smith, please sign right here.

Jaws must have been smoking that good stuff when he made is QB list because there is no way in hell that Matt Ryan is better than Drew Brees.

Lebron, Kobe, and Melo are not going to wind up on the same team.

That’s crazy, that would be like Iron Man, Thor, and The Hulk all teaming up to……..ahhh or maybe it could happen.

Does Kevin Garnett know that he’s going to have to coach the Nets while Jason Kidd is in jail??

I’d like to end on a serious note.

This year is the 20th anniversary of Jimmy V’s famous “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up” speech.

I’d just like to say that we should never take anything, anyone, or any day we have for granted because you never know when it’ll all be gone.

Cherish your lives every day, and appreciate the life that you have.

Thanks for reading and enjoy your weekend everybody!!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!