One-Liner Fridays!!

espn 8 the ocho

Happy Friday sports fans!! It isn’t a mirage. Friday is actually here. I’m going to get your weekend started a little early with an oldie but a goodie. This is a segment I like to call, One-Liner Fridays. Today, I give my take on the week of sports in One Line and One Line only. “We’re gonna to skate to One song and One song only!” Enjoy!!

 

“Pudge” Rodriguez has taken his nickname, and apparently his eating contests, too seriously.

Voting Tim Raines into the MLB Hall of Fame, after 10 years, is like that bad decision you make right as the lights come on at last call — I get it, she was the only girl left in the bar.

Putting Bud Selig in the MLB Hall of Fame is like asking Adrian Peterson to babysit tonight.

Nothin’ says, “Welcome to New York Sonny Gray” like the Yankees committing 3 errors behind him, in the 1st inning.

I know Pete Rose isn’t in the running for Humanitarian of the Century, but did a woman really come out of the shadows, and accuse him of a crime from 30 YEARS AGO?!

Nice try lady.

Stephen Curry took some time out of his busy, make fun of Lebron James schedule, to play in his 1st professional golf tournament (Ellie Mae Classic).

It appears, Steph Curry (who shot a 74) is now better than Tiger Woods at golf.

House, no — Cars, no — Travel the world, no — Put my kids through college, no — Invest, no — Purchase Neymar Jr., YES!!

I literally couldn’t think of a better way to spend $262 Million either.

I love how Dolphins fans are distraught today after seeing Ryan Tannehill go down with a knee injury in practice yesterday — Yeah, because NOW your season’s over.

At least it’ll keep the Colin Kaepernick conversation going, so we’ve got that goin’ for us.

We saw more punches thrown on the 1st day of New England Patriot’s Training Camp than we will see in the entire Mayweather/McGregor fight.

Thank you Paul Malignaggi, for leaving the “Circus”, as you called it, of McGregor’s camp, and daring McGregor to go public with their sparring video — which would allegedly show what really happened.

And in case you somehow didn’t notice, yesterday was Tom Brady’s, not to be confused with Jesus’, 40th birthday….

At least ESPN didn’t replay every minute of every game of Tom Brady’s career….

Speaking of ESPN, fantasy will become reality when ESPN U morphs into ‘ESPN 8, The Ocho’ for one day, August 8th.

That’s awesome!!

Cotton McKnight:
“In 23 years of broadcasting I thought I’d seen it all, folks, but it looks like Peter La Fleur has actually blindfolded himself.

Pepper Brooks:
“He will not be able to see very well, Cotton.”

 

If you have a One-Liner of your own, please post it below in the comment section.

Enjoy your weekend everybody!!

You can now find me on the Radio too. Download the TuneIn Radio App and search OWWR. I’ll be on live every Wednesday from 6:00 P.M. – 8:00 P.M EST. I also broadcast every show on Facebook Live via my DaveTalksSports.com Facebook Page.

Since you enjoy my writing, follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like my page on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. You can also Subscribe to my YouTube Channel called DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading!! Now go tell all your friends!!

 

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Don’t Be A Dummy, Save Your Money

mayweather

Do people actually buy into this crap?!?! Are there really people at home, sitting on the edge of their seats, jumping up and down every time Floyd Mayweather Jr. or Conor McGregor speak?? These must be the same people who think Jerry Springer is exciting television. Ahem..there’s probably a reason you’re home on a Tuesday, watching TV, at noon….

Tuesday’s “Press Conference” in Los Angeles represented the 1st of 4 majorrrrrrrr $$$$ grabs. It’s like one of those booths you get in and try to grab the singles as they fly around in the wind, only in this case there are 100 dollar bills — and there’s no wind.

For 4 consecutive days (7/11 – 7/14), we will be force fed Mayweather’s fake smile and McGregor’s bravado. This is a “Promotional Tour”, being used to hype up their fight to obscene levels. Well, I’m not buying it. Not this week. And not on August 26th. This “Tour” will also stop in Toronto, Brooklyn, and London.

If you want to watch the entire “Press Conference”, click here. Allow me to warn you..it’s throw-up worthy. Even if you watched the “Press Conference”, you may have missed a minuscule detail. A detail that showcased the “class act” that McGregor is. HA! This jack wagon had a custom suit made with the tiny letters “F*** You” stitched all over his suit. So what appeared to be pinstripes were actually terms of endearment directed at his foe, Floyd Mayweather Jr. You Stay Classy Dublin!

See, this fight isn’t a fight. It’s a circus act. It’s an opportunity for 2 guys to make inordinate amounts of money in exchange for ‘Reality TV’ entertainment. Ya know, like that scripted stuff we used to watch at age 10 — “Professional” Wrestling. Now, I don’t believe the Mayweather/McGregor fight is scripted, but it might as well be. McGregor has ZERO chance in this fight. Hell, the only reason this fight was sanctioned is because everyone’s palms are being greased. Sit back and look at the big picture here..this is a 49-0 boxer vs. a guy who has never fought a professional boxing match. That’s like me getting in the ring with Mike Tyson. Sure, he’s old, and fat, and crazy, but he’d whoop my ass.

The big difference in this fight, however, is Floyd Mayweather Jr. DOES NOT knock people out..EVER. So for those who decide to pony up the $100 for this pay-per-view event, cough..don’t do it..cough cough, you will be extremely disappointed. You may even feel cheated. This fight will go as every Mayweather fight has gone in the past 19 years: jab, jab, hide behind his shoulder, jab, dance around, hug, and repeat. The result will be a unanimous decision in favor of Mayweather (McGregor won’t win a single round). Following the fight, UFC, boxing, and sports fans all over the world will criticize Mayweather for not knocking McGregor out. Criticize yourselves.

Ultimately, this spectacle will be good for people who like money and good for the UFC. On the other hand, it will be devastating for boxing.

Dear Boxing,

I never thought I’d say this, but you’ve lost a fan, for life….

 

Will you watch this fight?? Did you enjoy Tuesday’s “Press Conference”?? If so, please try to rationally explain why in the comment section below.

Since you enjoy my writing, follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like my page on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. You can also Subscribe to my YouTube Channel called DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading!! Now go tell all your friends!!

My 1st Ever Sports Talk Radio Show

By clicking below, you will be entering my YouTube Channel; DaveTalksSports. This audio is from my 1st ever Sports Talk Radio Show. This audition was recorded and submitted to the radio station at SUNY Old Westbury on Monday, June 26th, 2017. Assuming my professor approves my audition, I will be on OWWR, Old Westbury Web Radio, via the TuneIn Radio App. The date and time of my show is TBD (to be determined), so check back to find out when I will be on the air. Click below to listen and enjoy!! Feel free to comment or leave constructive criticism in the comment section. Thank you!!

What Is This Amateur Hour?!?!

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What a joke!! Rather than being some super-hyped, super-fight, this should be the laughing stock of sports. Floyd Mayweather Jr., one of boxing’s most accomplished fighters ever, is coming out of retirement to fight Conor McGregor, the UFC’s ‘flavor of the month’. Well, I guess it’s true what they say..every man has his price. Granted, in this case, the price is really freakin’ high. Mayweather is projected to make approximately $100 million for 36-minutes of “work”. For a second I almost forgot Mayweather’s nickname is “Money”. McGregor is projected to make slightly less, however, I’m sure he’ll rest his oversized, Irish head just fine on that fancy pillow when he brings home approximately $75 million.

This may be the most predictable fight in boxing history, but before I tell you what’s going to happen..I bring you the details:

When: Saturday, August 26th, 2017

Where: T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas

Weight Class: Light Middleweight (154 pounds)

Rules: 12-Round Boxing Match (duh!)

For those who thought this could potentially be a Mixed Martial Arts fight, allow me to laugh in your face, HAHAHAHA. Sorry about that. If you thought Floyd Mayweather Jr. was going to come out of retirement to get his face kicked in, you were sorely mistaken. UFC and Boxing, despite their similarities, are 2 completely different sports. And that is the part people DO NOT understand. Conor McGregor can talk all the trash he wants, but the fact is, he has ZERO chance in this fight. ZERO. As in Nada. Zilch. Diddly-Squat. But Dave, what if he catches him with a……Nope, not gonna happen. Hell, McGregor isn’t even regarded as the best boxer in the UFC (Stipe Miocic probably holds that honor).

While this may become the greatest money making spectacle boxing has ever seen, in reality, it’s an amateur-hour special. Floyd Mayweather Jr. is 49-0 as a professional boxer. McGregor is 0-0. The fact that the Nevada State Athletic Commission is actually sanctioning this fight is ridiculous, but hey, money makes the world go ’round.

Tale of the Tape

Mayweather                                                                                         McGregor

Age: 40                                                                                                    Age: 28

Height: 5’8″                                                                                           Height: 5’9″

Reach: 72″                                                                                             Reach: 74″

Boxing Record: 49-0                                                                       UFC Record: 21-3

Now, I will give you a step-by-step breakdown of the fight. You can print this out, carry it around for nearly 2.5 months, and follow it during the fight as if it were a textbook. This fight will go like Mayweather’s last fight (which was almost 2 years ago already – 09.12.15), and the fight before that, and the fight before that. Mayweather will very occasionally hit McGregor with precise jabs, and then dance around McGregor for the majority of the 36-minute bout. If Mayweather finds himself REMOTELY close to danger, he will give McGregor a nice little hug until the referee separates the love birds. McGregor’s frustration will become glaringly visible. The only wild scenario I can picture, and this would be AWESOME, is if McGregor loses his cool in like the 6th round and just roundhouse kicks Mayweather in the face. He’d be disqualified of course, and Mayweather would most likely be unconscious, but that would be Must-See TV!!

Expect the Pay Per View cost to be the same as Mayweather vs. Pacquiao ($100), and expect the fight to start past your bed-time (probably 10:30/11:00 P.M. EST). Also expect, and heed my warning, to be really disappointed you spent $100 bucks on this dumpster fire. Mayweather has only knocked out 1 person in the last 19 years, and McGregor is still trying to figure out how to get his boxing gloves on (they’ll fight with 10-ounce gloves).

Now, as we speak, you can bet on the fight. The opening line on the fight is Mayweather (-800) and McGregor (+500). These odds are WAYYYYYYYYY too low. If I was a betting man, I’d be betting my life savings on Mayweather in a Unanimous Decision (which would bring him to a perfect 50-0). But Dave, I can get 5 to 1 odds on McGregor to pull off the upset. Yeah, and I can use $100 bills as toilet paper, but I don’t….

If someone else is buying, I’m watching, otherwise I’ll wait for ESPN’s highlights the following morning.

What do you think the result of this fight will be?? Are you crazy enough to think McGregor can win?? If so, PLEASE tell me in the comment section below.

Since you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. You can also follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!