One-Liner Fridays

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Every Friday I like to infuse a little humor into everyone’s day.  Here you will find a one-liner on a topic from this past week.  These gems will be one line and one line only (we’re gonna dance to one song and one song only).  Enjoy.

 

 

Aaron Hernandez is the 2014 version of OJ Simpson….only dumber.

If I had essentially gotten away with double murder, I wouldn’t commit another murder to cover-up the first 2 murders that I already got away with; I would lay low for the REST OF MY LIFE.

Anyone else want Donald Sterling to go away?

Yea, me too, so here’s what we’re going to do: stop talking about him.

Michael Sam is living proof of something I say every day; everything is about money.

Unbelievably hypocritically, Michael Sam has decided to do a reality tv show about his path to the NFL as a gay player because, HE JUST WANTS TO BE SEEN AS A FOOTBALL PLAYER AND NOTHING ELSE. 

With Marlin’s pitcher, Jose Fernandez, adding to the long list of pitchers needing tommy john surgery, MLB teams should just offer the surgery as an option on draft day.

Phil Jackson at the plate, and the pitch, he swings, and misses.

You know it’s bad when Phil Jackson can’t even convince his protégé to come work for him.

Now, Phil Jackson will be scouring middle schools across the country for his next coach.

I happen to like Stan Van Gundy as a coach, but you picked Detroit over Golden State?

Really?!?!

Must be the weather in Detroit that lured him in.

So let me get this straight, Johnny Manziel has the most jersey sales in the NFL since April 1st, people are actually excited and talking about the Cleveland Browns (for the 1st time in eternity), and in turn the organization will make more money, and you Jimmy Haslam, the owner of The Cleveland Browns, decide to tell Manziel to ‘act like a backup?!?!’

That makes about as much sense as the NCAA bylaws.

Oh yeah, there are hockey playoffs going on, I almost forgot.

In all seriousness, although I am not a New York Rangers fan, I fully appreciated the comeback that they pulled off to come back from being down 3 games to 1 to the Pittsburgh Penguins.

I’m sure that Martin St. Louis will give it his all throughout the rest of these playoffs for himself, his teammates, and most importantly his mother.

 

 

This has been another edition of One-Liner Fridays.  If you have a One-Liner of your own, please feel free to leave them in the comment section below.  Thanks.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

 

One Liner Friday’s

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Hello, and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. This is my 2nd post of the day so make sure you scroll down to read my review of Thursday night’s NBA Draft.

So if the Yankees can score some runs that would be cool.

You know those silly movies like Home Alone where they put down 5 marbles and the bad guys all slip and fall?

Yeah, that’s Wimbledon.

Aaron Hernandez took a lottery ticket and used it as Charmin Ultra Soft.

As I predicted last Friday, Hernandez was charged with murder, and I hope he spends the rest of his life in prison regretting his miserable existence.

In all seriousness though I feel really bad for his baby girl.

Not so seriously though, how can the best basketball player that ever lived be such a bad judge of talent?

Michael Jordan is a worse NBA Executive than he was a baseball player.

Doc Rivers is goin goin back back to Cali.

In other NBA news, the Brooklyn Nets actually believe it is 2005 with the finalization of a trade for Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett.

Most of these guys are way past their prime.

Some of them never had a prime.

This guys dead!

Major League, great movie.

I guess Tim Tebow really is going to be the Patriots tight end.

Doesn’t that make you sick to your stomach?

Hey Yasiel Puig, there’s a wall there someone should, uh move it.

Matt Harvey is really good at baseball.

The Mets should pray that Zach Wheeler is even half as good, maybe then they’ll come close to .500.

Not likely though, I mean they are the Mets.

Brian Cashman dropping F bombs!!

Personally I love it, A-Rod needs to shut his trap.

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Who Said There’s Nothing To Talk About?

The NBA Finals have come and gone, and baseball hasn’t hit its full stride yet. Within the dog days of summer lie a time with very little to talk about in the world of sports. However, Monday brought about an eventful day of sports news and action. Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals crowned a champion, while a former Wimbledon champion fell unexpectedly. A window of opportunity has opened for the much deserving Brian Shaw. And lastly, as I’m sure you’ve all heard by now, Aaron Hernandez has himself in some hot water.

With Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals being played in Boston, it was almost a certainty that the Bruins would force a decisive Game 7 in Chicago. This series had been so closely contested (with half of its games going to overtime), that a Game 7 seemed inevitable. With just under a minute and a half to play that looked like the case, but the Chicago Blackhawks had other ideas. The Bruins were winning 2-1 after Milan Lucic scored the go ahead goal midway through the 3rd period. They looked like they were going to cruise to a series tying victory until Brian Bickell put in the game tying goal with 1:16 left in the game. Boston had to be deflated but at least they had a chance to win the game in overtime, right? Oh No, no no, they were not granted that opportunity. Just 17 seconds after the game tying goal came, the game winning goal by Dave Bolland followed. And just like that, victory was snatched right out of Boston’s hands. Players are used to losing, but to be so close to victory and lose in heartbreaking fashion is never easy to get past. I’m sure the Bruins players will need some time to fully recover from a loss of this magnitude. Doesn’t it seem eerily similar to the Game 6 loss by the San Antonio Spurs in the NBA Finals? When there is a loser there must also be a winner. Congratulations to the Chicago Blackhawks on winning the 2013 Stanley Cup.

An absolute stunner is the only way to describe Rafael Nadal’s first round loss at Wimbledon. This is the first time he has EVER lost in the first round of a Grand Slam. His loss came in straight sets at the hands of the 135th ranked player in the world, Steve Darcis. Who? Exactly, I’ve never heard of him either. If you watched the match, the camera continued to follow Nadal’s taped up knee, and the commentators kept harping on the fact that he couldn’t track down balls he once called routine gets. Yes, I’ll admit that Nadal did not look his usual gritty self, but injury or not a player of his caliber should NEVER lose to Steve Darcis. Nadal simply did not have any fight in him on Monday, and he simply mailed in his performance once he was down 2 sets to none. While I’ve never personally been a Nadal fan, it still would have been nice to watch the great Roger Federer spank him in the quarter finals. I guess we’ll have to settle with Federer mopping the floor with John Isner in the quarters. Will there be anymore shocking upsets in Wimbledon? Only time will tell, but I see Roger Federer and Andy Murray playing a hard fought semi finals to see who has the right to lose to Novak Djokavic in the finals. Enjoy the tennis.

To the hardwood we go. The second the NBA season ends, head coaches get the ax (deservedly or not). As the off season progresses, those coaching vacancies slowly get filled. Monday, the Denver Nuggets filled their coaching vacancy with a name that has been floating around the rumor mill for quite some time. Brian Shaw, the former assistant of the Indiana Pacers, is now the new head coach of the Denver Nuggets. Shaw’s name has been on many executives lists for coaching possibilities over the past couple of years, but Denver has finally pulled the trigger. Denver just cur their tenure with George Karl short in the same season he won Coach of the Year, so I wouldn’t get too comfortable if I were Shaw. Good luck Brian, you deserve it.

And last but certainly least, we move on to Einstein himself. Nope, sorry, I meant Aaron “the rocket scientist” Hernandez. Aaron Hernandez has been a very good tight end for the New England Patriots, and had a very bright future ahead of himself (emphasis on the word HAD). Rather than use his potential to enjoy his future, he decided to entangle himself in a murder mystery. No, not the make believe Law And Order type of mystery, but the hey I actually murdered someone and tried to cover it up type of mystery. As of right now Hernandez has not been convicted of a crime or has even been arrested, but there has been the possibility of an arrest warrant hanging over his head for about 5 days now. See, Hernandez intelligently destroyed his home surveillance system, smashed his cell phone to unrecognizable pieces, and had a professional cleaning crew come leave his house spotless. Yeah, this should end well. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but I will. Hernandez obviously either murdered this guy, ordered the murder to take place, or has proof of the murder and is trying to cover it up. Either way his life is in shambles, and I highly doubt it’s going to get any better anytime soon. Man, don’t you wish you, an intelligent responsible person, had the talents these numbskulls have? You surely wouldn’t waste it and throw your life back into the sewer that they most likely came from to begin with. It’s such a shame. You can follow ESPN for daily updates on the Hernandez situation.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

Welcome back to another Friday edition of One Liners. Here you will find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!

Congratulations Lebron on winning your 2nd championship, now you’re not a complete and total failure.

Everyone can keep saying that Gregg Popovich is the best coach of all-time, but when you make horrible blunder after horrible blunder late in championship games maybe you’re not who we thought you were.

Thanks for explaining yourself though, we all really appreciate it.

It’s time Manu, it’s time.

Everyone understands that Aaron Hernandez is going to be brought up on murder charges soon right?

I mean this guy has to be one of the dumbest people on the planet.

Aaron, please don’t shoot me in the face because you’re the butt of one of my jokes.

+13 Tiger, really?

At least you didn’t make any excuses for your poor play.

Can the Yankees demote Phil Hughes all the way back to high school?

The sky is falling the sky is falling, oh no wait that’s just babies falling from the sky.

In all seriousness though, nice catch Joe Torre’s daughter.

If you haven’t been watching the Stanley Cup Finals you should start.

Yasiel Puig!

Now I know Spain is the best soccer team in the world, but 10-0?

The craziest part of that game is that Spain let Tahiti play with 17 men on the field.

This week’s installment has been short but sweet, but I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!