July — Don’t Knock It Until You Try It!!

You say these are the ‘dog days’ of Summer.

I say….you’re an idiot.

There’s A LOT going on in the world of sports:

Wimbledon, The World Cup, MLB’s All-Star Game/Home Run Derby, and The Open Championship. 

Wimbledon

Novak-Djokovic-wins-Wimbledon-2015_3324607

The Novak is back!!

After coming up empty-handed in his last eight Grand Slams, Novak Djokovic has reclaimed his spot amongst the games elite. His Wimbledon victory Sunday over Kevin Anderson marked Novak’s 13th Grand Slam Title, ranking 4th all-time. Maybe, he can finally put his personal issues in the rearview mirror and get back to not sucking at tennis….

While Serena Williams’ Wimbledon Finals appearance was impressive, she fell short of her 8th ‘All England Title’. Angelique Kerber dominated Serena in straight sets (6-3, 6-3), winning her 2nd Grand Slam Title.

World Cup

Vive La France!!

France is the 2018 World Cup Champion, winning their 2nd World Cup Title in 20 years. This leaves Spain, England, and Uruguay as the only World Cup champions without multiple titles. France capped off an exciting World Cup with an entertaining, dramatic 4-2 victory over Croatia.

Imagine being at the Eiffel Tower yesterday:

4E475D1D00000578-5956427-France_fans_celebrate_in_Paris_as_they_watch_their_side_claim_a_-a-7_1531732209921

That must have been AWESOME!!!!

MLB All-Star Game/Home Run Derby

barkley

I have to be honest….I know I said there’s a lot going on in sports this week, but I’m not sure I could be LESS interested in MLB’s All-Star Festivities.

The All-Star Game is awful. Nobody tries. Pitchers make one inning appearances. The game has been known to end in a tie. And it’s not how I’d choose to spend three hours of my life.

But hey, somebody will be watching. Last year, while the All-Star Game grabbed 8.6 million viewers, it was not the most watched TV event that evening. America’s Got Talent was. Sad. Oh so sad.

The Home Run Derby is cool. I’ll put it on as background noise tonight, however, this year’s Derby is lacking the most important thing of all; Star Power.

636669456357242768-071118-mlb-home-run-derby-bracket-2018

The Open Championship

Allow me to preface this statement — with a statement:

My subconscious has NOTHING to do, in any way, with my rational, conscious thought process.

dream

Sunday night, I dreamt that Tiger Woods won the 2018 Open Championship. For those who skim articles, I’m going to repeat myself. I don’t think there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that happens, but I dreamt it. Tiger Woods is a shell of himself. While he still moves the needle (inexplicably), he has literally NO CHANCE to win a Major. Not now. Not ever.

Have a nice day!

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I’ve Got Something To Say, So Open Your Ears And Listen!!

medvedev

Why the hell are the Home Run Derby and All-Star Game held on a Monday and Tuesday night?? MLB All-Star Weekend has a much nicer ring to it. It’s no wonder baseball isn’t popular. Stupid!!

The Knicks have signed 0 players in free agency. No, Ron Baker doesn’t count. The Knicks are officially in Tank Mode!! Oh yeah, and their 1st round pick, Frank Ntilikina, has yet to play a game in the Summer League. I’m so glad he rushed back to France right after the draft just so he could get hurt….

Hey, psssttt, Daniil Medvedev — you can’t throw money at the chair referee (as pictured above). This is Wimbledon, not Jerry Springer. You lost, get over it!! My favorite part is he denied that he was implying the referee was paid off by his opponent. How stupid do you think we are Daniil?? Wait..don’t answer that.

Manny Pacquiao — I know you’re upset, but you’re not the same fighter you used to be. You’re not on the juice anymore. At this point you couldn’t knock out my grandma. It’s time to hang ’em up. Thanks for the memories.

The elephant enters the room….

Gordon Hayward signed with the Boston Celtics. I love how people think it’s appropriate to say, “hey look, another white guy in Boston.” I know people say Boston is a racist city, but not everything is about race. Imagine that.

Dan Gilbert, you are a freakin’ cheapskate!! You are worth 4.8 Billion Dollars. 4.8 BILLION DOLLARS!! Apparently that’s not enough to offer Chauncey Billups a reasonable amount to become the Cavalier’s General Manager. Allegedly Gilbert offered Billups 1.5 million dollars. Normally, a General Manager’s starting salary is a minimum of 4 million dollars. You stay classy Cleveland.

Dallas Cowboys’ linebacker Damien Wilson was arrested on Tuesday night for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Because nothing says ‘Happy 4th of July’ like waving a rifle in a lady’s face. As Jim Carrey said in Liar Liar, “Stop breaking the law asshole!!”

The Knicks reaching out to Rajon Rondo to be Frank Ntilikina’s mentor is like reaching out to Tiger Woods to be your marriage counselor….

How in the world is Alex Wood not on the All-Star Team?!?! The guy is 10-0 with a 1.67 era. Oh..we have 6 relief pitchers on the roster instead?? Makes sense.

The Tennessee Titans almost lit their stadium on fire on Tuesday night. What is it with the NFL and fireworks?? JPP knows what I’m talking about. High Fiv……I mean, ummm, High Four????

 

Thanks for reading!! Enjoy your day everybody!!

You can always speak your mind in the comment section below.

Since you enjoy my writing, follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like my page on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. You can also Subscribe to my YouTube Channel called DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading!! Now go tell all your friends about me!!

 

Episode #2 Of DaveTalksSports Radio!!

Good morning sports fans. If you feel you aren’t getting enough of DaveTalksSports here, and you want more, allow me to introduce DaveTalksSports Radio!! You can leave comments here or on YouTube. Make sure to follow me on Twitter @DaveEttinger2, Subscribe to DaveTalksSports on YouTube, or Like my DaveTalksSports Page on Facebook.Thanks for reading and listening!!

Happy 4th of July!! And Happy Birthday Jordan!!

 

 

 

One-Liner Fridays

lebron haters

 

Helllllooooo sports fans!!  It’s Friday again.  I know you thought it would never get here, but the weekend is right around the corner.  I will get your weekend started a little early with a weekly segment I like to call: One-Liner Fridays.  You know how it goes.  Today, I will wrap up the past week in sports in One Line and One Line only.  Enjoy!!

 

You know the dog days of summer have hit you square in the face when GOLF is the most exciting thing on TV.

 

Oh no wait, I forgot, you can always turn on some WNBA action……

 

So I heard some clown on ESPN radio last night talking about how betting on the Mets to win the World Series this year (at 200 to 1 odds) wouldn’t be the dumbest thing that has ever happened before…….NO????

 

I mean I’m no rocket scientist, but I’m pretty sure laying that bet would put you in the running for dumbest person ever.

 

So Chad Johnson (yes Ochocinco), is playing in the CFL now, and he just scored his first touchdown the other day, but if you haven’t seen it check out the ref who is clearly not the hugger Derek Jeter is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EGDt07j7sA

 

I know I know, everybody just LOVES Lebron James again, but as you know from my article I know everyone read (https://davetalkssports.com/2014/07/11/lebron-james-returns-to-cleveland/), I’m not buying the bullcrap salad that he’s selling.

 

But seriously, Lebron just placed first in the Harris Poll, which determines the most popular athlete in the United States, I bet The Joker wishes he could figure out how to go from the villain to everyone’s hero in just 1 year.

 

Which brings me to another basketball player, Carmelo Anthony, also known as the most generous and most selfless man in the world.

 

He’s not in it for the money man, he’s all about pay cuts.

 

This man took $7 million less on a 5-year, $129 million contract, if that is not a sacrifice that screams TEAM than I don’t know what is.

 

More basketball??

 

Okay.

 

I only have one thing to say to the Los Angeles Lakers: “HAHAHAHAHAHA….Carlos Boozer….HAHAHAHAHAHA….Jeremy Lin….HAHAHAHAHAHA….okay maybe that was more than one thing, but you get the point.

 

When Tracy McGrady got signed by the Sugar Land Skeeters (insert immature laughter here), I figured he would have a long, illustrious career….and I was right, he pitched 6 and 2/3 innings, recorded 1 strikeout, and then said I think I’ve had enough.

 

So he retired.

 

Major League Baseball definitely handled Derek Jeter’s final All-Star Game very tastefully, but man is that game terrible.

 

If it wasn’t for Derek Jeter, I think there would have been 4 viewers of that game (yea, I said 4).

 

The only thing worse than the All-Star Game itself is the Home Run Derby, that right there is 4 hours of my life that I can NEVER get back again.

 

Here is a simple formula of how to fix the Home Run Derby: you give Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, and Sammy Sosa a bunch of steroids and give them each their own personalized club (you know like a caveman club) and watch them bash 600 foot home runs for an hour, this way everyone’s happy and these clowns get 15 more minutes of fame….oh, and feel free to throw Jose Canseco in there if you want.

BarryBonds

 

Tiger Tiger Woods y’all is back, it’s crazy how much one man can effect an entire sport.

 

So now that the worst time of the year in sports is upon us is it too early to ask everyone’s favorite question: ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!?! 

 

 

This has been another edition of One-Liner Fridays.  I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have a One-Liner of your own please post it in the comment section below.

 

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!