One Liner Friday’s

Welcome back to another Friday edition of One Liners. Here you will find the past week in sports wrapped up in one line and one line only. Enjoy!

Congratulations Lebron on winning your 2nd championship, now you’re not a complete and total failure.

Everyone can keep saying that Gregg Popovich is the best coach of all-time, but when you make horrible blunder after horrible blunder late in championship games maybe you’re not who we thought you were.

Thanks for explaining yourself though, we all really appreciate it.

It’s time Manu, it’s time.

Everyone understands that Aaron Hernandez is going to be brought up on murder charges soon right?

I mean this guy has to be one of the dumbest people on the planet.

Aaron, please don’t shoot me in the face because you’re the butt of one of my jokes.

+13 Tiger, really?

At least you didn’t make any excuses for your poor play.

Can the Yankees demote Phil Hughes all the way back to high school?

The sky is falling the sky is falling, oh no wait that’s just babies falling from the sky.

In all seriousness though, nice catch Joe Torre’s daughter.

If you haven’t been watching the Stanley Cup Finals you should start.

Yasiel Puig!

Now I know Spain is the best soccer team in the world, but 10-0?

The craziest part of that game is that Spain let Tahiti play with 17 men on the field.

This week’s installment has been short but sweet, but I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

If winning Coach of the Year doesn’t guarantee your employment, what the hell does??

Sorry George Karl, but if you never raise people’s expectations too high they’ll never be too disappointed.

A-Rod, A-Rod, A-Rod how I loathe thee.

A-Rod has to be the dumbest guy in the world to think he was going to get away with cheating.

Didn’t you learn anything the first time?

What does Phil Hughes think he’s good now or something?

How bout dem Spurs!!

I didn’t know Tony Parker was an acrobat, man those French are sneaky.

Serena Williams is so good at tennis it’s offensive.

She beat her semifinal opponent in 6 minutes (it was actually 46 minutes but who’s counting?).

Hey Chris Bosh, you know there’s a basketball game going on that you’re supposed to be a part of right???

Tiger Woods say: See what had happened was, I was going to win, but I decided to be +8 and finish 20 shots back instead.

Watch him turn around and win the U.S. Open next week.

The Miami Marlins are 16-44, they should be removed the the Major’s; permanently.

Whoever put together the brackets for the French Open should be fired.

Novak Djokivic and Rafael Nadal is a great matchup today in the semifinals, but that should clearly be the finals matchup.

And yes, the NHL Playoffs are still going on.

I actually had to look that last one up to verify first.

Wait, people will put their bodies at risk and cheat in order to gain a competitive advantage and in turn make millions of dollars?

NO WAY!

Mmmmmm Donut.

For those of you were not aware, it is National Donut Day.

Yeah that’s right, enjoy!

Aww what happened wittle Webron, were your wittle wegs tired last night?

You better win game 2 Lebron, because if you don’t you will lose this series.

This has been another installment of One Liner Friday’s. I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Fridays

This is my 2nd post of the day, so make sure to scroll down to check out my post on the New York Knicks.

Hey Bryce Harper, there’s a wall there, uh somebody should uh move it.

Nick Saban is the devil?

What did somebody hear Saban’s name in a Judas Priest song playing backwards?

Heyyyyyyyy the Knicks won a basketball game.

Gronkowski with a pile driver!

What an idiot!

Don’t be sad Kevin Durant, maybe Lebron James won’t be good next year.

The Yankees are in a familiar place (1st) with unfamiliar faces.

Phil Hughes sucks though.

Joba Chamberlain is lucky that Mariano Rivera is the nicest most classy guy in sports.

If he wasn’t I’m pretty sure Joba would be trying to put his face back together right now.

Tiger Woods never left, he just checked out for a little while, and then he checked in and out and in and out of motels all over the country.

But seriously though, Tiger woods is and always has been the best golfer on the planet.

Nice shot(s) Sergio.

Way to not choke.

Best Free Agent Signing in the NFL in 2013 goes to: Drum Roll Please………….

David Garrard to the New York Jets.

Only the Jets can sign someone and have them retire before they ever play a single snap.

They should resign Tim Tebow to take his roster spot.

Titus Young should write two books.

His first book should be entitled: How to get arrested twice in one day.

Then his follow-up book should be called: Twice wasn’t enough? I can teach you how to get arrested a third time in one week.

Let me be the first to say that if Floyd Mayweather fights Canelo Alvarez, he will suffer his first professional loss.

Hey Beckham, NOBODY CARES!!

I hope you enjoyed this weeks one liners. Let me know what you thought in the comment section below. Thank you for reading.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Yanks Get On The Board

No, you didn’t travel back in time, that was Andy Pettite handing the ball to Mariano Rivera. Andy Pettite showed signs of his former self and pitched a phenomenal game against the rival Boston Red Sox. Pettite pitched 8 solid innings in just 94 pitches, earning the Yankees their first win of the season. He gave up just one run, and then handed the ball to Big Mo, who earned his first save of the season. This was Mariano Rivera’s first appearance in almost a year, and while he did give up a run, he still got the job done. I guess all you “experts” can stop hitting the panic button after TWO GAMES!! This is baseball. Baseball is a marathon and a half. If you are someone who thinks the first month of the baseball season means anything, you are sadly mistaken. Yes, the Yankees obviously have some major injuries that aren’t going to go away over night, but they still have a solid team. People also need to remember that Derek Jeter and Curtis Granderson will be returning in the near future. Are the Yankees going to hit a million home runs like they’ve grown accustom to over the past couple of years? Nope, but that doesn’t mean they can’t win baseball games. This will depend on the biggest wild card of the season that no one is talking about, and that is the manager. Everyone wants to focus on the injuries and the lack of power in the line-up, but who is it that needs to overcome those issues? That’s right, it’s the manager, Joe Girardi. I think we are all going to learn a lot about Joe Girardi this season. Personally, I have always thought Girardi was a sub par manager, and I believe his ineptitude as a big league manager will be on display this year. It is difficult to deal with major injuries from your star players, but in baseball every team deals with significant injuries all the time. It is the job of the manager to adapt to the situation and get the most out the players he does have. I just don’t see Girardi utilize the combination of his farm system and his veteran players properly. I also think Girardi’s in game situational moves are usually questionable, especially his pitching changes. You would think as a former catcher, he would understand pitchers a little bit better (silly me). Anyway, it was nice to see Andy Pettite pitch as well as he did, and that is something the Yankees will need consistently if they want to play baseball in October.

As I’ve been saying since before spring training got under way, the Yankees will survive this season. They will fight through all the injuries and adversity and they will find new ways to win. I believe that the Yankees will finish third in the division and will be fighting for the final American League playoff spot all year. If their pitching rotation holds up they will make the playoffs, however, if Andy Pettite and Hiroki Kuroda pitch like old men then they’re going to be watching the playoffs from the couch like the rest of us. They also have to deal with the giant question marks that are Phil Hughes, Ivan Nova, and David Phelps. Phelps has been solid, Nova has tremendous upside (but we better see it this season), and Hughes, well who the hell knows what he’s going to be. All in all this season is no slam dunk, but everyone needs to hop off the panic button. Let’s take a step back from reacting to everything in 3.5 seconds and see where they are when their roster is healthy. If the Yankees get Jeter and Granderson back (and everyone else stays healthy), and they are 10 games out of a playoff spot, then I give everyone permission to Panic with a capital P. Until that day comes, let’s just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!