Tag: Chad Johnson

One-Liner Fridays

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 2 Comments

lebron haters

 

Helllllooooo sports fans!!  It’s Friday again.  I know you thought it would never get here, but the weekend is right around the corner.  I will get your weekend started a little early with a weekly segment I like to call: One-Liner Fridays.  You know how it goes.  Today, I will wrap up the past week in sports in One Line and One Line only.  Enjoy!!

 

You know the dog days of summer have hit you square in the face when GOLF is the most exciting thing on TV.

 

Oh no wait, I forgot, you can always turn on some WNBA action……

 

So I heard some clown on ESPN radio last night talking about how betting on the Mets to win the World Series this year (at 200 to 1 odds) wouldn’t be the dumbest thing that has ever happened before…….NO????

 

I mean I’m no rocket scientist, but I’m pretty sure laying that bet would put you in the running for dumbest person ever.

 

So Chad Johnson (yes Ochocinco), is playing in the CFL now, and he just scored his first touchdown the other day, but if you haven’t seen it check out the ref who is clearly not the hugger Derek Jeter is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EGDt07j7sA

 

I know I know, everybody just LOVES Lebron James again, but as you know from my article I know everyone read (https://davetalkssports.com/2014/07/11/lebron-james-returns-to-cleveland/), I’m not buying the bullcrap salad that he’s selling.

 

But seriously, Lebron just placed first in the Harris Poll, which determines the most popular athlete in the United States, I bet The Joker wishes he could figure out how to go from the villain to everyone’s hero in just 1 year.

 

Which brings me to another basketball player, Carmelo Anthony, also known as the most generous and most selfless man in the world.

 

He’s not in it for the money man, he’s all about pay cuts.

 

This man took $7 million less on a 5-year, $129 million contract, if that is not a sacrifice that screams TEAM than I don’t know what is.

 

More basketball??

 

Okay.

 

I only have one thing to say to the Los Angeles Lakers: “HAHAHAHAHAHA….Carlos Boozer….HAHAHAHAHAHA….Jeremy Lin….HAHAHAHAHAHA….okay maybe that was more than one thing, but you get the point.

 

When Tracy McGrady got signed by the Sugar Land Skeeters (insert immature laughter here), I figured he would have a long, illustrious career….and I was right, he pitched 6 and 2/3 innings, recorded 1 strikeout, and then said I think I’ve had enough.

 

So he retired.

 

Major League Baseball definitely handled Derek Jeter’s final All-Star Game very tastefully, but man is that game terrible.

 

If it wasn’t for Derek Jeter, I think there would have been 4 viewers of that game (yea, I said 4).

 

The only thing worse than the All-Star Game itself is the Home Run Derby, that right there is 4 hours of my life that I can NEVER get back again.

 

Here is a simple formula of how to fix the Home Run Derby: you give Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, and Sammy Sosa a bunch of steroids and give them each their own personalized club (you know like a caveman club) and watch them bash 600 foot home runs for an hour, this way everyone’s happy and these clowns get 15 more minutes of fame….oh, and feel free to throw Jose Canseco in there if you want.

BarryBonds

 

Tiger Tiger Woods y’all is back, it’s crazy how much one man can effect an entire sport.

 

So now that the worst time of the year in sports is upon us is it too early to ask everyone’s favorite question: ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!?! 

 

 

This has been another edition of One-Liner Fridays.  I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have a One-Liner of your own please post it in the comment section below.

 

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!  

 

Chad Johnson Is An Idiot

~ Dave Ettinger ~ 1 Comment

Today’s big topic of the day is that of Chad “I guess I’m going by my real name now” Johnson’s legal woes. As I’m sure you’ve all seen or heard by now, Johnson was in court on Monday for violating his probation. He landed on probation because of a domestic dispute stemming from an altercation on August 11th, 2012. He was accused of head-butting (YES, HEAD-BUTTING) his then wife, Basketball Wives reality star Evelyn Lozada. So, to make a long ridiculous story short, Johnson did not get sentenced to jail for his actions, instead he was put on probation. Obviously, Mr. Former Football Star didn’t think probation was something a person should take seriously, so he decided to violate it (smart I know). So let’s fast forward to yesterday, where Johnson was seen in court for said violation of his probation. If you haven’t seen the video of his court appearance, thank TMZ for this gem and then click here:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=usLgH3RvDmE

Now, I might have been born in the generation where kids are entitled little snot nosed bastards, but my personal views don’t exactly fit within those guidelines. I believe that when you find yourself in trouble, you stand up like a man and accept your punishment. You act respectful at all times, and you do your best to be contrite and learn something from your mistakes (because we all make them). You certainly should never make light of a serious situation in a serious setting. See, the bottom line is that Chad Johnson should have thanked his lucky stars that he wasn’t going to have to spend a second in jail. He didn’t spend time for the domestic violence charge or for the probation violation. But what does he do? He decides to give his lawyer a nice little congratulatory pat on the rear end for a job well done. Well let me tell you something Mr. Johnson, this is NOT the football field, no matter how much you want it to be, this is a court room. What he should have done was dress appropriately (in a suit and tie), and stand there like a statue and not open his stupid mouth once. He should have kissed the ground that the judge walked on and thanked her for sparing him despite his laundry list of poor judgement. But as I reiterate for the 15th time, he did not do any of those things.

As for the judge, she should have handled Johnson’s entire situation differently as well. First off, let me say that I am 100% against domestic violence, and I believe that offenders should spend required jail time no matter what. With that being said, Johnson should have been imprisoned for the initial incident, however he was not. Secondly, when he violated his probation he should have been shipped right off to jail (do not pass go, do not collect $200), however he was not. So rather than make a proper example of Johnson, she decides to jail him for the butt slap heard round the world. Good work Judge Judy. Now, you are going to be known as the woman who doesn’t see head-butting your wife and violating probation as jail-able offenses, but tapping your lawyer on the behind is, hmmmmmmmmm? At least you’re going to get your 15 minutes (good work).

Now if you’re one of those people that believes in karma, than none of this bothers you because he got what he deserved. But if you are one of these free thinkers (ahem, Robin Lundberg), that thinks what the judge did is criminal, than you have a major problem with this. Either way, Chad Johnson is an idiot! Enjoy your month in the real world Chad.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!