One Liner Friday’s

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Hello, and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. This is my 2nd post of the day so make sure you scroll down to read my review of Thursday night’s NBA Draft.

So if the Yankees can score some runs that would be cool.

You know those silly movies like Home Alone where they put down 5 marbles and the bad guys all slip and fall?

Yeah, that’s Wimbledon.

Aaron Hernandez took a lottery ticket and used it as Charmin Ultra Soft.

As I predicted last Friday, Hernandez was charged with murder, and I hope he spends the rest of his life in prison regretting his miserable existence.

In all seriousness though I feel really bad for his baby girl.

Not so seriously though, how can the best basketball player that ever lived be such a bad judge of talent?

Michael Jordan is a worse NBA Executive than he was a baseball player.

Doc Rivers is goin goin back back to Cali.

In other NBA news, the Brooklyn Nets actually believe it is 2005 with the finalization of a trade for Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett.

Most of these guys are way past their prime.

Some of them never had a prime.

This guys dead!

Major League, great movie.

I guess Tim Tebow really is going to be the Patriots tight end.

Doesn’t that make you sick to your stomach?

Hey Yasiel Puig, there’s a wall there someone should, uh move it.

Matt Harvey is really good at baseball.

The Mets should pray that Zach Wheeler is even half as good, maybe then they’ll come close to .500.

Not likely though, I mean they are the Mets.

Brian Cashman dropping F bombs!!

Personally I love it, A-Rod needs to shut his trap.

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Friday’s

If winning Coach of the Year doesn’t guarantee your employment, what the hell does??

Sorry George Karl, but if you never raise people’s expectations too high they’ll never be too disappointed.

A-Rod, A-Rod, A-Rod how I loathe thee.

A-Rod has to be the dumbest guy in the world to think he was going to get away with cheating.

Didn’t you learn anything the first time?

What does Phil Hughes think he’s good now or something?

How bout dem Spurs!!

I didn’t know Tony Parker was an acrobat, man those French are sneaky.

Serena Williams is so good at tennis it’s offensive.

She beat her semifinal opponent in 6 minutes (it was actually 46 minutes but who’s counting?).

Hey Chris Bosh, you know there’s a basketball game going on that you’re supposed to be a part of right???

Tiger Woods say: See what had happened was, I was going to win, but I decided to be +8 and finish 20 shots back instead.

Watch him turn around and win the U.S. Open next week.

The Miami Marlins are 16-44, they should be removed the the Major’s; permanently.

Whoever put together the brackets for the French Open should be fired.

Novak Djokivic and Rafael Nadal is a great matchup today in the semifinals, but that should clearly be the finals matchup.

And yes, the NHL Playoffs are still going on.

I actually had to look that last one up to verify first.

Wait, people will put their bodies at risk and cheat in order to gain a competitive advantage and in turn make millions of dollars?

NO WAY!

Mmmmmm Donut.

For those of you were not aware, it is National Donut Day.

Yeah that’s right, enjoy!

Aww what happened wittle Webron, were your wittle wegs tired last night?

You better win game 2 Lebron, because if you don’t you will lose this series.

This has been another installment of One Liner Friday’s. I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Why can’t we all be a little more like Derek Jeter?

There are plenty of players throughout the years that have “slipped up” in front of the media. These comments and one liners are usually spoken out of true emotion. The latest blunder was made by New York Yankees newest acquisition Kevin Youkilis. It is still tough for me personally, as a lifetime Yankees fan, to imagine Youkilis in Yankee Pinstripes. Well, unfortunately that imagination will become a reality this April. Upon his arrival to spring training, Youkilis made it very clear where his heart still lies. Youkilis said, “I’ll always be a Red Sock.” My initial reaction was woahhh buddy what are you saying, but when I took the time to think about it, I realized that no one ever confused Youkilis with a rocket scientist. Listen Kevin(I’m not calling you Yoouuukkk), in reality you might feel that way in your heart, but you’ve been in the league long enough to know how this works. You need to talk to writers, reporters, and fans as if you are a politician. You need to answer questions without really saying anything. Reporters and fans alike love guys who are honest and speak the truth. It’s like giving them free ammunition for an empty gun. However, it usually ends poorly when a player says what’s really on his mind. Now, I know it’s a catch twenty-two when it comes to talking to the media, but Kevin needs to be smarter.

Every athlete in the world, not just baseball players, should take lessons from Derek Jeter. Think about it, have you ever heard Derek Jeter say something out of bounds? Has Mr. November ever been in hot water over a controversial comment? The answer is an emphatic NO. The other day, I heard a fan call-in to a radio show and suggest that Derek Jeter would have said the same exact thing if he signed with the Boston Red Sox. The host of the show quickly interjected and needless to say that was the end of that phone call. People like that anger me so much that I actually had to pull over to the side of the road while I was driving. Derek Jeter will NEVER wear any other uniform besides a Yankees uniform. For argument’s sake though, let’s just say that he got traded to or signed with the Red Sox. That doesn’t mean he is all of a sudden going to start talking out of his rear end. Everyone knows Derek Jeter is a Yankee for life, that goes without saying. But if somehow he found himself wearing the enemy’s colors, he wouldn’t be so brainless as to say that in his heart he’ll always bleed Yankees blue and white. He’s too smart. He’s too savvy. We should all take lessons from Derek. Another thing I love about Derek Jeter is his loyalty to his team. It is rare to see a ball player stay with the same team throughout their entire career. I think baseball needs more of that. Baseball needs more of the Barry Larkin’s, the Craig Biggio’s, and the Cal Ripken Jr’s. Free agency and the growth of players’ salaries has caused players to chase money rather than stay loyal to the team that drafted them. It’s really a shame that baseball is strictly a business, but it makes you appreciate the Derek Jeter’s and Mariano Rivera’s of the world even more. Now, in Youkilis’ situation he was traded and then signed with a team that had a need for him. It’s not like he chose to leave Boston to sign with the Yankees(only Johnny Damon was smart enough to do that). Youkilis is still not off the hook for putting his foot in his mouth, but at least we know he’s not a traitor. From a strictly baseball perspective Youkilis fills a need for the Yankees. With Alex Rodriguez caught up in whatever it is he’s caught up in and his injury, Youkilis should serve the Yankees well at 3rd base. His offensive production has slipped since the end of the 2010 season, but we all saw what a change of scenery did for him last season. I think he’ll give it his all out there on the diamond, but I’m still not calling him Yoouuukkk.

Are You Ready For Some Footb- …oh crap that’s the wrong song…I meant Baseball, Are You Ready for Some Baseball??

It’s that time of year again!!  Football is over, and it’s time to start gearing up for baseball season.  Time to sharpen those needles and find that vein.  Time to hit the gym and figure out how to get rid of that unwanted “backne”(that would be back acne in case you were wondering, one of the oh so very lovely side effects of steroid use).  You know it’s a damn shame that that’s what comes to mind when you think about America’s pastime.  A once sacred game has since been tarnished by the greed of its players and the utter disregard of its commissioners.  It has forced us to see the ugly truth; baseball is strictly a business and everybody cheats.  Now by everybody I don’t actually mean everybody.  I’m sure there are honest hardworking athletes out there that want to succeed 100% naturally(I applaud this group which at this point is most likely the minority).  It’s just that all professional sports have been linked to steroids in some way, especially baseball.  Baseball has actually named a significant period of time in it’s history the “steroid era”.  You would think that since I put steroid era in quotation marks it would be a joke, but it’s not.  If you wanted to write a history book about baseball, there would literally have to be a chapter entitled the steroid era(It would probably be the longest chapter of the book).  See, baseball in the late 80’s and early 90’s was moving in the wrong direction.  Ratings were down and labor issues became more prevalent.  In 1994, those labor disputes brought about the longest work stoppage in major sports history.  This effectively became the lowest point in baseball’s prestigious history.  The aftermath of the strike left baseball in complete disarray.  Fans became disgruntled and attendance dropped significantly, television ratings plummeted, and the fans that continued to show up to games expressed their anger through protests and childish behavior(throwing objects on the field).  Baseball desperately needed a savior, and boy did it get one.  Unfortunately, that savior wasn’t one individual or an inspiring story that could bring baseball back from the depths of hell.  Even though Major League Baseball had many options as to how to save it’s beloved pastime, they went with a solution that only has two options, and no it’s not paper or plastic, it’s liquid or pill form.  So as players, managers, and commissioners alike turned a blind eye to what was going on in the 90’s, baseball made its resurgence.  Baseball had been saved by the likes of Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa, and the home run race of 1998.  The summer of 1998 could possibly have been the most exciting three months in baseball history.  Major League Baseball watched along with the rest of us as their baby was resurrected and their ratings began to climb along with their bank accounts.  The players were ecstatic because they were propelled to new levels of fame and notoriety, and of course the MLB suits were jumping for joy because they could once again drive home to their mansions in their Ferrari’s instead of to their condos in their BMW’s(oh thank god, what a pity that would have been).  However, what all the enablers of the “steroid era” failed to recognize was the consequences this would have on the future of the game.  And, that brings me to my next point.

Baseball is in a precarious place right now.  Every other day someone new is being brought up in PED scandals, and those names are being thrown straight into jail(do not pass go, do not collect $200).  See, the court of public opinion doesn’t exactly work the same way as our judicial system here in the United States.  In fact it works in the exact opposite way.  You are guilty until proven innocent, and if you happen to be proven innocent you’re still guilty(i.e. Roger Clemens).  This is causing every fan and media person to jump the gun and cry foul whenever someone accomplishes something spectacular.  This needs to stop!  I know this is a complicated issue, and everyone and their grandmother thinks they have a solution that will rid the sports of illegal drugs and cheating.  That is why I’m going to try to paint a picture of what I believe will set us on the road to recovery.  The first step to recovery as everyone knows is admitting there is a problem.  I think we can all agree on that, so let’s move on to the next step; highlighting the innocence and purity of the game and how we can get it back.

Now, let’s do a little mental exercise.  Try to remove yourself from the present day and let your mind travel back in time.  Let’s aim for an age of innocence, and let’s say you are about 10 years old.  The world is new and exciting.  You are at the age of no responsibility and all you want to do is have fun.  Fun for me at the age of 10 was baseball.  Baseball and ummm nope just baseball.  When you’re 10, you don’t really think that people cheat, or lie, or steal.  Now, if I sat down the 10 year old you and tried to explain that 90% of your favorite baseball players lied and cheated to get where they were, you wouldn’t believe a word that came out of my mouth.  That right there is the feeling we need to get back.  We’ve all lost touch with that gut feeling in regards to sports achievements.  How do we get that back you ask?  I’m going to tell you just hold your horses.  Since I truly believe this problem won’t be fixed by the collective actions of the players union and MLB executives, I believe it should start with us.  The fans control everything that matters in sports.  Think about it.  If we don’t buy tickets or merchandise they don’t make any money.  If we don’t turn on the television to watch the games, they have no ratings, therefore they make no money.  As we’ve already established, all anybody cares about in sports is money, so the only way to really bring about change is to hit em’ where it hurts; the wallet.  If we protest that we won’t watch or spend another dime, maybe the game will be brought back to it’s purest form.

Let’s keep our mind in time travel mode and continue to pretend you’re 10 years old.  Do you remember why you couldn’t wait to lace up those cleats and head out to the ball park?  I sure do.  Think about grabbing your bat and glove and heading out to your local ball field.  Spring time is upon us, the smell of freshly cut grass in the air, and the diamond is glistening just begging you to step on to the field.  Maybe you are with your little league team getting ready for a big game, maybe you and your friends are gathering to play a pick-up game, or maybe you are heading to the field with your father to work on your game.  Whatever the reason was, we all remember what we loved about the game.  For me, it was heading down to the local field with my father.  After a long day of work, he used to take me to the field and hit ground-balls and fly-balls to me until the sun went down, or until my mom came looking for us because it was dinner time(no she didn’t call us on the iPhone, believe it or not in the early 90’s we didn’t have cell phones).  That is where my passion for the game came from.  That is the reason I dreamed of becoming a professional baseball player.  That 10 year old inside of you is the only thing that can bring about change.

I truly believe that everything that happens in the world starts at home.  It’s not the video games, movies, television, and music that corrupts your child’s mind.  It’s the parents that don’t educate their children on the subjects in those video games and movies.  It’s the parents that don’t teach their children right from wrong, and that there are consequences for their actions.  If it was your father who taught you and inspired you as a child, it should also have been your father who was your role model.  And as your role model your father should have taught you right from wrong.  Right, a foreign concept, is following your dream through a solid work ethic.  Wrong, a common occurrence, is taking illegal drugs and performance enhancers to succeed while leaving that honest hard working kid in your dust.  By the way, it is absolutely ridiculous that I need to explain the difference between right and wrong to grown men!  Now, I understand that uniting a nation to stand up for what’s right is probably unrealistic(I mean look at our government), but nothing would make me happier.  I’ve personally spoken to people that have no problem with steroids and PED’s in sports.  They feel that it allows the organizations and franchises to put out a better product, and in turn they are happy.  They’d rather deal with the heinous side effects of illegal drugs and watch 520 feet home runs than do what’s right and clean up the game.  These ignorant people make my blood curdle.  At the same time, I feel sorry for these people because they have been brainwashed by the Barry Bonds’ and Alex Rodriguez’s of the world.  By the way, I wonder if Barry Bonds and Alex Rodriguez tell their children that it’s okay to lie and cheat.  Maybe if they thought about their children every time they were shooting up, they would have thought twice about it.  It also wouldn’t have killed them to spend a little more time on the field before games signing autographs and interacting with fans.  As a professional baseball player in the spotlight, making hundreds of millions of dollars, it is their obligation to be a role model.  These players are confused, and it’s not all their fault, but they think they are special.  Millions of dollars can go to a persons head and effect them as a human being.  They think they are better than others in “regular” society and they think their time is more valuable than ours.  That is simply not the case.  Players need to remember where they came from and remember why they always dreamed of becoming a professional baseball player.  If players can find that mentality again, maybe the game can return to it’s rightful place.

With all this being said, I still can’t wait for the baseball season to start.  As a true baseball fan who watches all year round, I am excited for the upcoming season.  I am not one of these fare weather fans who only watch come playoff time.  Baseball at its purest form is a beautiful sport to watch.  To me, 1-0 pitching duels are just as exciting as 12-10 home run fests.  On any given night you may see a leaping catch at the wall to rob a home run or a curve ball that buckles a batters knees.  It’s time to get excited that pitchers and catchers report to camp next week.  It is time to put a countdown to opening day on your calendar.  Baseball is on the way.  It is time to get excited!

Look for my preview of the upcoming Major League Baseball Season including team previews and predictions.