It’s OK To Hate The Houston Astros

My brain hurts.

Normally, I’d call that Tuesday, but I’ll blame 2004 for today’s headache. ON THIS DATE, 16 years ago, I was roaming the halls of my dorm at UMass with a broom (I had “borrowed”) from a random janitor’s closet. The New York Yankees held a 3-0 lead over the Boston Red Sox in the ALCS, I was decked out in my A-Rod jersey, and I was constantly 2.5 seconds away from an ass-kicking from any one of the 20,000 Mass-Hole, Red Sox fans that inhabited said University.

Despite the imminent danger I was putting myself in, I was overjoyed that the Yankees would be playing in another World Series.

Being able to rub it in the faces of so many Sawks fans was icing on the cake.

Then, Dave Roberts happened, and David Ortiz happened, and the rest is…you know the saying.

Sooo, Friday night, with a 7-4 victory, the Houston Astros joined the 2004 Boston Red Sox as the only teams in Major League Baseball history to force a game 7 after trailing 0-3 in a postseason series. I’m not going to waste time, or mince my words…


And I’m here to tell you it’s okay for you to hate them too. Don’t feel bad. They deserve your vitriol. You can’t just cheat your way to a championship, put on a sad, puppy-dog face, and expect everyone to feel bad for you. Then, when people remind you that you’re an asshole, act like the victim.

And while I’d gladly headbutt Jose Altuve, Alex Bregman, or any other Houston Astros’ player within a head’s length, 99.9% of this diatribe is directed at Carlos Correa.

See, some people are just born with a punchable face. *Yes, 36-year old man, living in his mother’s basement, I’m aware punchable isn’t a word. Now, shut up, and keep reading.* Enter Carlos Correa. As talented as they come, wildly underachieving so far in his six-year career, there’s just something about Correa’s face you want to see in front of a Mike Tyson, in his prime, right-uppercut.

As a Yankees’ fan, it should be sacrilegious to root for the division rival Tampa Bay Rays, but I have been for the better part of a week now. And Saturday night will be no different (there may be some scotch involved this time though).

Do you hate the Houston Astros as much as I do?? Are you even watching the MLB Postseason?? If not, who do you hate?!

Tell me in the comment section below.


The Houston Astros held an “apology” press conference.
A “damage control” tour if you will courtesy of their new PR Firm.
They should be promptly fired because this was the worst press conference in the history
of press conferences.



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Astros Outlast Dodgers In Craziest World Series Game Ever


Clayton Kershaw vs. Dallas Keuchel.

Must have been a 1-0 pitcher’s duel, right??


Instead, a 7-home run, 13-12, extra inning slugfest. A game, some will call, ‘the craziest game ever played’.

You couldn’t have scripted a more evenly matched game if you tried. Both teams….

  • Had 14 hits
  • Made 1 error
  • Used 7 pitchers
  • Used 11 offensive players
  • Scored 3+ runs in 3 innings

Honestly, I feel bad for the Dodgers. With no rooting interest, all I’ve been hoping for is good baseball. CHECK. But hey, somebody has to lose.

You know who else lost?? ME!! Why the hell does this game need to start at 8:15 P.M. EST on a Sunday?! I understand time zones, but we’re talking about Sunday. This 5 hour and 17 minute marathon, lasted until approximately 1:32 A.M. EST.

This game would see 8 lead changes, or ties, in what can only be described as pure insanity….

1st Inning

The Dodgers jumped out to an early lead, hanging 3 runs on Dallas Keuchel. Clayton Kershaw was cruising, allowing just 1 hit through 3 innings. And then, the bottom of the 4th inning happened.

4th Inning

The Dodgers added another run, bringing their lead to a seemingly insurmountable 4-0. An rbi-double and a 3-run home run later, the game was tied.

5th Inning

Cody Bellinger and Jose Altuve would swap 3-run home runs, bringing the calamity to 7-7 through 5 innings.

7th Inning

The Dodgers would retake the lead (8-7) on an rbi-triple, by who else, Cody Bellinger. The Astros would strike back with a 3-run inning of their own. George Springer hit a monstrous, 448-foot home run, Altuve had an rbi-double, and Carlos Correa would add a 2-run home run of his own, bringing this home run derby to a score of 11-8.

8th Inning

Each team would add another run in the 8th, bringing us to 12-9 heading to the 9th inning.

You didn’t think the madness would end here did you??

9th inning

A 2-run, Yasiel Puig home run shot life back into the Dodgers, bringing them within 1 run (12-11). Puig’s home run broke the record for most home runs in a postseason series (22). And with 2 strikes, and 2 outs, Chris Taylor would drive in the game tying run!! Insane!!

To Extras we go….

10th inning

After 2 quick outs by super closer, Kenley Jansen, he hit and walked consecutive batters. Enter Alex Bregman. Bregman wasted no time, as he was 1st pitch swinging. A drive up the middle would bring pinch running, Derek Fisher to the plate. And in dramatic fashion, the Houston Astros, took a 3-2 series lead.

These teams will have a much needed day off Monday, as they travel to Los Angeles. Catch game 6 on FOX, Tuesday @ 8:20 P.M. EST. Justin Verlander and Rich Hill will take the mound for a Halloween matchup.


Was Game 5 the craziest World Series game in MLB history?? If not, prove me wrong in the comment section below.


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