Knicks Hire Life-Size Marionette

They’ve done it. They’ve finally done it. The New York Knicks actually found someone who wants to work for them. It’s a Christmas Miracle in July!! And even though you’ve never heard of him he actually has NBA front office experience. Crazy right?! Knicks fans..meet Scott Perry.

Before I introduce Scott Perry, we must fully understand this hiring. Scott Perry might be the Knicks’ general manager, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be making decisions. Oh sure, he’ll make suggestions, but they may be acknowledged, or ignored, depending on what side of the bed Steve Mills and James Dolan wake up on. That sounds empowering to me!! Essentially, Scott Perry is a life-size puppet. So why would Perry take the job you ask?? Because he gets to put Knicks general manager on his resume, and his pay will increase — a lot. Now let’s meet the poor bastard.

Scott Perry has over a decade of experience, working for 5 different franchises. He has worked for Seattle, Oklahoma City, Detroit, Orlando, and Sacramento. His most successful tenure was in Detroit. Perry was the Pistons’ director of player personnel when they reached 6 consecutive Eastern Conference Finals, including 1 championship (2004). The past 4 months of his career haven’t been quite as stable. Perry was fired by the Orlando Magic (uhhh, hi red flag) in April. He wasn’t a bachelor for long though, as the Sacramento Kings hired him later that month to be vice president of basketball operations.

Okay, so he showed some resiliency in getting hired quickly, however, the Kings are letting him walk away after only 4 months on the job. What does it say when the Kings don’t want you?! Nothin’ good.

I’m not going to sit here and completely bash this move, but there are moving parts that make me slightly uncomfortable. The first is Steve Mills. Upon hiring Perry, Mills will be promoted to president of basketball operations. So Perry will have to report to Mills. Enjoy that!! Second, the Knicks will be required to give some form of compensation to the Kings in exchange for Perry. This compensation better be money, because if the Knicks just TRADED A DRAFT PICK TO BRING IN SCOTT FREAKIN’ PERRY, I’M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND!!!!

There goes another blood vessel. Oh well.

Once the dust settles on this sand storm, the attention will revert back to Carmelo Anthony. As his first order of business, what will Scott Perry “do” with Carmelo Anthony?? Trade him, keep him, or buy him out?? As of now, trade talks between the Knicks and Houston Rockets have been put on hold.

And now, it’s opening night. The theater is sold out, and the stage is yours (as Mills lowers Perry onto the stage). It’s time to start the show Pinoch….I mean Steve Perry. Break a leg!!

 

What do you think of this hiring?? What do you think of Scott Perry?? Tell me your thoughts in the comment section.

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