Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of One Liner Friday’s. After a 3 week break, I’m back!! Here you can find the past week in sports wrapped up in One Line and One Line only. Enjoy!!

All I have to say about the Jacksonville Jaguars idea to give any fans who purchase tickets to their game this weekend 2 free beers is: MMMMMMMMMMM BEER.

And, where can I buy some Jag’s tickets?

I wish everyone would understand that this 10 year/$305 million number Robinson Cano is “asking” for is just a bunch of white smoke.

No one is going to give him more than 7 years/$196 million (which is still absurd but it’s quite a bit less then $305), I mean the guy literally walks to 1st base on groundballs.

Hey Jay-Z, I know you like money because it ain’t a thang but stop trying to steamroll The Yankees and let’s get real.

Speaking of The Yankees, let’s get serious.

Thursday night marked the last time the best closer of all-time, Mariano Rivera, would ever step foot on the mound in Yankees Stadium.

His career is unparalleled and is one of the finest human beings to ever play the game of baseball.

Good luck filling those shoes David Robertson.

Andy Pettite is also hangin ’em up after this season, making his final start this weekend in Houston.

He had a very solid career and will be missed in the Yankees organization as well.

Let me preface the next few statements by saying I Love The New York Jets.

But, they are NOT as good as everyone thinks.

I repeat, they are not very good.

The Defense is very good, but this is still a 6 or 7 win team at best, and for people to think they are going to make the playoffs all of a sudden because they are 2-1 is RIDICULOUS!!

Oh they beat The Tampa Bay Buccaneers and The Buffalo Bills, both at home, yeah you’re right they’re great what was I thinking?!?!

Is it awkward for The Sacramento Kings organization to have Shaquille O’ Neal be part owner now considering he called them The Sacramento Queens back in the day??

I hate Floyd Mayweather Jr. with a passion!!

But, he is the best in the world right now, so you gotta give him credit where it’s due.

Bye Bye Bud Selig, you will not be missed.

I think he wanted to retire before Major League Baseball’s squeaky clean name got tied to Steroids, haha.

RG3 says he doesn’t know how to slide, and to that I say: What are you retarded?

Way to grow some cojones Carlos Gomez!!

I mean Brian McCann would have kicked your ass, but at least you didn’t back down or hide behind an umpire in a scrum like Chris Johnson.

Dwyane Wade and Kevin Durant don’t have real beef with each other, rather they are in cahoots in some major marketing scheme….just wait and see.

So The New York Knicks and Brooklyn Nets are going to split the 2015 All-Star Game Festivities right down the middle???

Yeah, nothing says heated rivalry like a little sharing.

Have you ever seen someone take a bigger beating in a victory before in your life?

Don’t know what I’m talking about just see exhibit A: UFC Champion Jon Jones’ face after defeating Alexander Gustafsson.

Someone let The New York Football Giants know what time their game is this week because I don’t think they knew last week; that’s why they didn’t show up!

Ouch!

Have you ever watched (or not watched) a more pathetic display of football in your life?

Maybe they’ll put forth a better effort in Kansas City this week….eh probably not.

Yeah, we believe you Colin Kaepernick when you say you don’t care what anybody has to say about you.

So is that why you SAVED AND FAVORTIED all of your hate tweets online last week?

Idiot.

Well, this has been another edition of One Liner Friday’s. I hope you enjoyed them!! If you have your own One Liner’s you want to leave me, please write them in the comment section below. Thanks.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!