One Liner Friday’s

This is my 2nd post of the day, so make sure you scroll down to read about Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals. Enjoy!

I just came up with the best headline ever: Arvind Mahankali channels Inner Jew to win 2013 Spelling Bee.

Lebron James is really good at basketball.

The New York Mets have won the World Series!

No, no they didn’t.

They did win 4 games in a row for the first time since World War II though, so that’s certainly something to celebrate.

Really Rutgers, REALLY?

You are more inept than George W Bush trying to spell his own name.

Seriously, how do you hire Julie Hermann?

She cursed your president out and beat up a small child during her interview, but apparently that wasn’t enough to stop you from hiring her.

Astonishing!

Who is watching the 14 straight hours of Women’s College Softball coverage on EVERY ESPN CHANNEL?!?!

Seriously?

So apparently Broadway Joe put the bottle down long enough to talk about the Jets.

Too bad the Jets don’t want to hear him speak.

I said it last week, but let me repeat myself: Floyd Mayweather Jr. will suffer his first professional loss of his career in September against Canelo Alvarez.

Too big, too strong, too young.

Yes, the NHL Playoffs are still going on.

I know, I almost forgot too.

Where oh where has Rory Mcilroy gone?

Chris Anderson (aka Birdman, aka turtleneck tattoo, aka you look like a moron) should have been ejected from Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals.

It’s a good thing referees have integrity and don’t favor the home team though.

Gordon Gee, oh Gordon Gee, what is wrong with you?

Since when is it okay to run your mouth and say whatever you want no matter how offensive to large groups of people?

Ohhhh, it’s all about the all mighty dollar, how silly of me to think otherwise.

This has been another installment of One Liner Friday’s. If you have any One Liners of your own please leave them below. Thanks.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

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Lebron James Is Really Good

The biggest stages usually bring out the best in people. If you don’t believe me, you can ask Lebron James. Thursday night’s pivotal game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals showcased Lebron James’ talents. We saw his scoring ability, we saw his passing ability, but most of all we saw his will to win. You know those movies that start somewhere in the middle and then rewind to the beginning? Yea, I’m going to do that now. The outcome of this game was decided by Lebron James’ performance in the 3rd quarter. Lebron James out scored the Indiana Pacers 16-13 by himself in the 3rd quarter (yes you heard that right). Yes, he did receive some help from his friends (no not Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh), however this victory rests on the shoulders of Lebron and Lebron only. Think about it this way: if I told you that Wade and Bosh would combine for 17 points, you would have told me that the Pacers would win this game. But then again, the Heat do have the best player on the planet. If you didn’t watch the game, his friends who did show up last night were Mario Chalmers and Udonis Haslem. Chalmers and Haslem scored a combined 28 points on 13 of 21 shooting from the field including 6 consecutive jump shots made by Haslem in the all important 3rd quarter. But, like I said earlier, this game was won by 1 man.

Nope, you don’t need to get up and check your TV, the movie just cut to black and rewound itself to the beginning. This game was the most important game of the year for both sides. From the opening tip, we clearly saw an intensity and urgency from both teams that you’d expect from a game of this magnitude. The Pacers came out playing their style of basketball. We saw hard nosed defense, solid rebounding, and offensive efficiency around the basket. On the other hand, while the Heat’s energy was up, their play was not in the 1st quarter. Offensively, Lebron and the Heat came out flat, scoring just 19 points in the entire 1st quarter. Lebron started the game with 2 straight turnovers, and the Heat were lucky they weren’t run off the court in the 1st quarter. If it wasn’t for 3 missed layups in the quarter by the Pacers, they could have carried a 10 point lead into the 2nd quarter.

As for the 2nd quarter, the game became slightly more entertaining. With 3 minutes gone in the quarter, Chris Anderson decided he didn’t like the way Tyler Hansbrough was standing, so he gave him an intentional shoulder from behind that sent Hansbrough to the floor. Hansbrough (a man of better self control than I) got up and simply stood his ground without retaliating. Anderson walked back toward Hansbrough and after bumping chests angrily shoved Hansbrough with two hands. Now in no way am I blaming this loss on the referees, but I am simply pointing out that it is LUDICROUS for Anderson not to have been ejected from this game. Don’t agree or haven’t seen the incident? Click here:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MeBNEQE4RT0&feature=relmfu

In most cases I would say that Chris Anderson being ejected wouldn’t effect the outcome of the game (because he’s a bum), but in this series he actually serves a purpose. He is basically the Heat’s only physical presence down low, and he plays that gritty style of basketball that no one else on this team can. Against the Pacers he is a plus, unlike his usual role as a drain on society. After the skirmish was sorted out, Anderson was hit with a Flagrant-1 Foul while Hansbrough received a Technical Foul. In all seriousness, what in the f’in world did Hansbrough do to deserve a technical???? He didn’t open his mouth, he didn’t instigate any further action, and he didn’t even retaliate. So, after watching numerous replays, how is it that the referees still get the call 100% wrong? And how is Anderson not ejected from the game? I can’t come up with one valid reason for him not being tossed from this game, so if you can come up with something please let me know. Anyway, I digress.

Lebron James must have spent his halftime in the locker room staring at a blank wall just thinking to himself or something. He must have been mentally preparing himself for what was about to happen. He most likely had one of those moments where the intense workout music comes on and Rocky goes through some crazy training to prepare himself for the fight of his life because he came out of that locker room like a changed man. He looked his teammates in their eyes and screamed at them. Then he grabbed hold of the reigns and said hold on for the ride. Good for you Lebron. Way to man up and take charge when your teammates are playing like crap. Lebron literally did it all. Defense, offense, intangibles, and the list goes on and on. I think he even flew the plane to Indiana and cooked dinner for the team last night too.

Now, it is on to Game 6 in Indiana. The heat lead the series 3 games to 2, and will find themselves in the NBA Finals for the 3rd consecutive year with a victory Saturday night. However, a gritty Pacers team still stands in their way of that. The Pacers are a much better team at home than they are on the road, and I’m going to assume they will get more than 5 points from their entire starting back court. I think they punch back with a solid win in Game 6 and force a decisive Game 7 in Miami. What do you think? Do the Pacers have one last push in them or will they fold and go down in 6 to the Heat? Leave me your thoughts and comments below. Thanks.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

I Think I Left My Clutch Gene At Home Today

When your team wins you get all the accolades, and when your team loses you get all the blame. Thats how it works in superstar land. Today, Lebron James is shouldering 100% of the blame for Friday night’s loss. It was an enormous loss for James and the Heat as the Indiana Pacers secured home court advantage in the Eastern Conference Finals. The Pacers will travel back home with their confidence at an all time high after coming within inches of stealing both games in Miami. The biggest question after their heartbreaking Game 1 loss was how would they respond? Well I think we all found the answer to that question. The Pacers stayed true to themselves and they continued to highlight their strengths on the floor. They stayed physical with Miami, they used their length and size on the defensive end, and most importantly they utilized Roy Hibbert early and often. In turn he responded with another career game in these playoffs. He put in 29 huge points while grabbing 10 rebounds. While Hibbert was a big part of their victory, the Pacers showed that you don’t need to rely on one superstar to win. The Pacers starters all scored in double figures and their bench only contributed 5 points. This shows you how balanced they are, and that they all subscribe to the “team” concept. At the same time I must not overlook Paul George’s effort last night. He is truly solidifying his ranking as one of the best all around players in the NBA. He has the daunting task of guarding Lebron James, and at the same time is being asked to contribute 20+ points every night. Yes, Lebron’s stat line was godly (as it always is), but when it mattered most what did “king” James do? To find out you gotta keep reading…

With the game on the line, Lebron committed two consecutive turnovers!! Ouch!! This was not one of his brighter moments. The first turnover was really bad. Let me set the scene for you: George Hill had just knocked down two clutch free throws to put the Pacers up 95-93 with 48 seconds left. As Lebron brought the ball up he attempted to lob a pass over David West across the top of the key. Instead West stuck his arms up as if he were a cornerback who didn’t turn back to play the ball and stole the ball. The Pacers went on to turn the ball right back over on a shot clock violation. So despite the Pacers trying their darnedest to give another game away, Lebron just wanted to not win it even more. He got the ball just inside half court with the clock running down. Everyone was holding their collective breaths wondering if Lebron could pull some more heroics out of his you know where, but NOPE. He drove the lane and attempted to swing the ball outside, but the pass was intercepted by George Hill. Hill calmly walked down the floor and knocked in two more clutch free throws. This put the game nearly out of reach with the Pacers going up by four with 8 seconds to play. Chris Bosh threw up a last effort 3-pointer but it missed and the Pacers held on to win 97-93. Now in just 48 short minutes the momentum has completely shifted and there is a new question to ask today. How will the defending champion Miami Heat respond to losing on their own floor in the playoffs? I, like most, think that the Heat will still win this series, but Indiana is a difficult place to win basketball games. The road to the finals has been slightly tilted uphill for the Miami Heat, and now it is their turn to stare adversity in the face. To see what happens in the next chapter of this story, tune in to TNT on Sunday @ 8:30 p.m.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Fridays

I just wanted to wish the New York Knicks good luck against the Miami Heat this week.

Oh wait sorry never mind, you have to actually beat the other teams on your schedule first.

You mean things don’t happen just because you say they’re going to??

Sergio, I’m making dinner tomorrow night, do you want to come over?

I’m making Paella!

How bout dem’ Yankees!

Seriously though if the baseball season ended today Mariano Rivera would win the CY Young Award.

Amazing!!

On another serious note Da Bears are finally going to retire Mike Ditka’s number.

Congratulations Ditka!!

“I took a punch from Hall of Famer, Mike Ditka, and I did not go down!”

“Sure, I wobbled a bit, but I did not go down.”

“That Ditka has fists like a small truck.”

If you haven’t seen the movie Kicking and Screaming you should, it’s pretty funny and Mike Ditka is very funny in it.

Miguel Cabrera is really good at baseball.

Just in case you forgot, the NHL Playoffs are going on right now.

I know, it’s wild that you didn’t know that.

(Inside Indiana Pacers huddle before the final play of game 1) Frank Vogel speaking (probably really fast in a funny voice) : Roy Hibbert what are you, uh 7’2″, yea you probably can’t block anyone’s shot you take a seat here next to me, and nobody guard that #6 guy I heard he’s not very good.

How’d that work out for ya?

Heyyyyyyy, the New York Rangers won a hockey game!

Hey Chase Utley’s hurt again, that’s a shocker.

Why do NBA players think it’s okay to dress like this……….

http://m.bleacherreport.com/articles/1649354-paul-georges-outfit-last-night-was-a-sea-of-microorganisms-and-regret

All of these atrocious outfits in the NBA have inspired me to write a book that will be entitled: Where Have All The Men Gone?

I always set my Sno-Cones down on the bathroom floor at a stadium filled with people.

Then I don’t wash my hands and I sell them.

Word on the street is they were lemon flavor…..mmmmmm yummy!

Hey RG3, can your daddy fight my battles for me too??

I’m glad I’m not Mark Sanchez.

I am really glad I watched The Preakness… NOT!

Can I get a stare down here?

Andre Ethier’s wasn’t bad, but if you want to see the best stare down of all-time check this out :

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0sTNI85QM4A

You’re awesome Frank Robinson.

I hope you’ve enjoyed another installment of One Liner Fridays. Leave me your best One Liner in the comment section.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Not Your Everyday Buzzer Beater

When you think of buzzer beaters, you usually see someone hitting a three pointer or someone hitting a jump shot with a hand in their face. Well, how does making an uncontested shot in a layup line sound to you to win a playoff game? Yeah, that sounds ideal to me too. Well, for those of you who couldn’t stay awake to watch the closing minutes of Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals last night, that’s what happened. Lebron James drove down the lane for an uncontested layup to beat the Indiana Pacers 103-102. Now, the majority of the blame is being placed on Pacers head coach Frank Vogel for not having 7 foot 2 inch Roy Hibbert on floor for the final possession of the game. Yes, some of the blame rests on Vogel, (and I’ll get into why in a minute) but the majority of the blame should land on Paul George and his “defense” on the final play.

For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, click below to watch Lebron’s game winner:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GqSXLCuANiY

There are 2.2 seconds left on the clock and everyone and their mother knows who’s getting the ball. The problem you normally have in attempting to guard Lebron James is that you never know if he’s going to shoot, drive, or pass the ball. However, with 2.2 seconds left, whoever gets the inbounds pass is going to either shoot it right away, take one dribble into a jump shot, or if he magically gets an opening he’ll take it to the hoop. So the excuse that Paul George hesitated to get out to Lebron James because Ray Allen happened to run through the lane is ludicrous. George needs to chase the best player in the world around and let Allen’s defender worry about Allen. The biggest problem with George’s defense though is that he overplays James, so when he gets the ball he already has a step on George. This horrid defense allows an unprecedented wide open layup for the game winner. Now the other hot topic is why in the world Roy Hibbert was not on the floor for the final possession?!?! To that question I have no rational response. Coach Vogel had a response, but his didn’t make much sense either. He said he left Hibbert on the bench because Chris Bosh was in at center for the Heat. Since bosh can shoot from the outside he stretches the floor and in turn pulls Hibbert outside (where he is mostly useless). This is why Roy Hibbert, the Pacers best interior defender was watching Lebron drive down the lane from the bench. Yeah, good idea Frank. His explanation is all well and good during the 1st quarter, but with 2.2 seconds on the clock it’s almost physically impossible for Lebron to get the inbound pass, drive the lane, draw a double team from Hibbert, and then hit Bosh for a wide open 12-footer. No one thought Lebron could get to the basket that fast by himself let alone pass off to someone else. Now, if Bosh somehow got the inbound pass and was to take the game winning shot, I think Vogel would have lived with a somewhat contested shot from 15-18 feet. Hibbert might by 7’2″ and not very mobile, but I’m sure he could have gotten a hand in Bosh’s face if that was the case. But that was not the case. James scored, the Heat won, and it’s only a matter of time to see how the Pacers respond.

Will they be demoralized after losing a heartbreaker on Miami’s home court? Will they bounce back and play Miami to another close game? I always thought this series was going to go 6 hard fought games, so I don’t believe this loss is the beginning of the end for the Pacers. Look for Hibbert to stay out of foul trouble early in game 2 and play the Heat tougher down low. He’ll need to play well for the Pacers to have a chance, but more importantly the Pacers, (a solid defensive team) need to play tighter defense, especially down the stretch of games in order to win. You can catch Game 2 on TNT, Friday night @ 8:30 p.m. Enjoy!

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

Hi, My Name Is Sergio Garcia And I’m A Racist

I’m going to keep this short and sweet. I’m going to get straight to the point because I don’t want to talk about Sergio Garcia. I don’t want to put his name out in the atmosphere anymore, however he needs to be put in his place. For those of you who don’t know what happened; listen up! Sergio Garcia has been running his mouth all over town about Tiger Woods, and nobody (especially Tiger himself) really cares what he has to say. So, Tuesday evening Sergio Garcia was jokingly asked if he was going to invite Tiger Woods to dinner during the U.S. Open? Sergio intelligently responded, “We will have him round every night. We will serve fried chicken.” Really Sergio? REALLY?!?!? I completely understand why Sergio continues to run his mouth. He clearly wants to stay in the limelight because his golf game obviously hasn’t gotten him anywhere. And who better to associate yourself with than Tiger Woods? The only problem is that this is a one-way conversation being held by Sergio and Sergio alone. I want to give Sergio some advice: spend more time on the putting green and less time stirring up make believe controversies. Then maybe his name would be brought up for something productive rather than some caveman nonsense.

Now, let me get back to the issue at hand. Clearly Sergio Garcia is showing his true colors. He is clearly still upset that he didn’t beat Tiger 14 years ago, and he’s upset he’s never beat him (by the way, he is NEVER going to beat him). The problem is that Garcia crossed the line. He has gone so far past the line he can’t even see the line anymore. The line is a dot to him. Any FRIENDS fans out there?? Seriously though, how could a person say something SO offensive in this day and age? And then pretend that he didn’t know it was offensive to black people? Sergio Garcia gets an NFL style Come On Man for that one. Sergio doesn’t need to apologize, he needs to crawl into a hole somewhere and sew his mouth shut for a while. What I’m mostly surprised about is that there aren’t a great number of people making a big deal out of this. I figured there would be a huge uproar over a senseless comment like this but it has been minimal. Tiger himself pretty much brushed it off the same way he’s brushed Sergio off the past couple of weeks. You know that gnat that is intent on following you around the park all day? Yeah. This is a non-factor attempting to re-rent his 15 minutes of fame for the 18th time. We are all tired of you and you’re stupid mouth Sergio, so please shut it.

Sincerely,

The Whole World

The End

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!

One Liner Fridays

This is my 2nd post of the day, so make sure to scroll down to check out my post on the New York Knicks.

Hey Bryce Harper, there’s a wall there, uh somebody should uh move it.

Nick Saban is the devil?

What did somebody hear Saban’s name in a Judas Priest song playing backwards?

Heyyyyyyyy the Knicks won a basketball game.

Gronkowski with a pile driver!

What an idiot!

Don’t be sad Kevin Durant, maybe Lebron James won’t be good next year.

The Yankees are in a familiar place (1st) with unfamiliar faces.

Phil Hughes sucks though.

Joba Chamberlain is lucky that Mariano Rivera is the nicest most classy guy in sports.

If he wasn’t I’m pretty sure Joba would be trying to put his face back together right now.

Tiger Woods never left, he just checked out for a little while, and then he checked in and out and in and out of motels all over the country.

But seriously though, Tiger woods is and always has been the best golfer on the planet.

Nice shot(s) Sergio.

Way to not choke.

Best Free Agent Signing in the NFL in 2013 goes to: Drum Roll Please………….

David Garrard to the New York Jets.

Only the Jets can sign someone and have them retire before they ever play a single snap.

They should resign Tim Tebow to take his roster spot.

Titus Young should write two books.

His first book should be entitled: How to get arrested twice in one day.

Then his follow-up book should be called: Twice wasn’t enough? I can teach you how to get arrested a third time in one week.

Let me be the first to say that if Floyd Mayweather fights Canelo Alvarez, he will suffer his first professional loss.

Hey Beckham, NOBODY CARES!!

I hope you enjoyed this weeks one liners. Let me know what you thought in the comment section below. Thank you for reading.

If you enjoy my writing, follow me over to intheneutralzone.com where I am a contributing author there as well. Also you can follow me on twitter @DaveEttinger2 or like me on Facebook at http://www.Facebook.com/DaveTalksSports. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!